Engineering News

Ralph sent Alice to the moon long ago. Engineers showing off? Really? Len might have been impressed

What nerds do for fun.

Now I know what she's thinking, I've been to the moon and you haven't na na na na na...

_{(tips hat to europium)}

NASA's transmission collides with outbound BBC re-run on return leg. M.L. life-flighted to NSA's Alexandria, VA supercomputing center where she underwent emergency reconstructive surgery, but the damage was done. NASA sues BBC but settles out-of-court for an undisclosed amount which, it was learned, includes movie rights to The Fly II: Mr. Bean's Revenge

Mr. Bean was the best part of the Olympics Opening Ceremonies, imho. Though, my sister thinks I have the sense of humor of a 12-year old, so my opinion may not count for much.

That picture is hideous, by the way. And hilarious.

"...my sister thinks I have the sense of humor of a 12-year old, so my opinion may not count for much."

Your sister is merely assuming the onerous burden of a sister's duty: policing the ranks of the family's lesser beings: brothers. Admirable quality, to be sure, and congential. It is preparing her for her later role of same, having swapped 'brother(s)' for 'husbands'. Don't begrudge her this; she can't help it.

This being said, you have several options; one of which it appears you have already exercised: agree with her. This works, but only when the stakes aren't particularly high. When they are, which is most if not all of the time, say, if she says so in front of your crew, consider her as having thrown down the gauntlet: one must never, ever, EVER look bad in front of one's crew. Any attempt on her part to make you look so is of course nothing less than A Declaration of War. At this point you have several options:

1. You don't particularly like your crew, are in the market for another, and so you agree with her, as before. They leave. You're friendless for a few years, and, as a result, major in Engineering at your local uni.

2. You explain to her in no uncertain terms that you are endeavoring to recapture the innocence of your misspent youth and she is interfering with your recovery. Act as if you mean it.

3. Show empathy for her position by stating your unspoken Noble Cause: you are doing so with her best interests in mind: merely screening a broad array of television programming for potentially objectionable or age-inappropriate material even whilst agreeing that Mr. Bean is certainly not suitable for someone of her caliber and refined tastes. Then recommend TV's infamous Teletubbies in Mr. Bean's stead. Even better if you have the Sketchy Adventures DVD pre-loaded in the machine and are holding the correct remote. Immediately hit Source and punch HDMI 2.

4. Tell her that you are doing so as a kind of experimental multimedia foreplay that you read about in GQ designed to help you better appreciate the stark, gruesome, hopeless surrealism of Stanley Kubrick's A Clockwork Orange and will she be requiring Subtitles?