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The Y Files is the place for conversation and discussion about how technology shapes individuals and their communities. Steve Melito (Moose), the blog's owner, is an experienced technical writer who once read Aldous Huxley's Brave New World while killing time as a temp at GM Truck and Bus.

"All our science is just a cookery book, with an orthodox theory of cooking that nobody's allowed to question, and a list of recipes that mustn't be added to except by special permission from the head cook." - World Controller Mustapha Mond, Chapter 16, pg. 225

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Humor: China to Execute 10 Million Recalled Toys

Posted October 01, 2007 9:27 AM by Moose
Pathfinder Tags: product recalls

The Onion reports that in an attempt to assure the world's children that the millions of Chinese-made toys currently being recalled for containing toxic lead paint and tiny choking hazards can no longer hurt them, high-level Chinese officials announced Tuesday that millions of playthings are being rounded up and immediately put to death. Click here for the full story.

Editor's Note:The Onion is a satirical publication. No toys were harmed in the posting of this story.

Steve Melito - The Y Files


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Guru

Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 4397
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#1

Re: Humor: China to Execute 10 Million Recalled Toys

10/02/2007 1:48 PM

Rumor has it that the Chinese sold this story to The Onion to divert attention from the fact that they're really using the lead-tainted toys as reactor shielding. Particularly for shipment of breeder-reactor cores to N. Korea, where the irradiated toys are then removed and stuffed into empty bomb casings.

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Popular Science - Weaponology - Cardio-7

Join Date: Oct 2006
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#2
In reply to #1

Re: Humor: China to Execute 10 Million Recalled Toys

10/02/2007 2:05 PM

That's a clever post, Europium! I had thought that the Chinese would incinerate the lead-tainted toys, thereby spreading the lead around the world. Or perhaps put a few mg lead into each teabag exported to other countries. The "sweet" tasting lead salts would be an instant hit!

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#4
In reply to #2

Re: Humor: China to Execute 10 Million Recalled Toys

10/02/2007 3:46 PM

They're prolly doing that, too. Those guys can sure crank 'em out. I like tea, but I may have to change my ways. Maybe buy it at my local supermarket so that I can be sure it wasn't made from real tea leaves.

OMG, that stuff is made in China, too!

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#3

Re: Humor: China to Execute 10 Million Recalled Toys

10/02/2007 3:31 PM

The Chinese once again demonstrate their infinite cruelty and pedagogery. Why kill these innocent toys, and cause them pain? Wouldn't a life on Devil's Island with the ghost of Steve McQueen be preferable to a painful cordite tinged death in front of a firing squad? I can easily envision Devil's Island being populated by Barbie Dolls and gardening tool toys. I'm sure the mutants that would form after several toy generations would be willing to attack and clean up the growing menace found in today's China.

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#5
In reply to #3

Re: Humor: China to Execute 10 Million Recalled Toys

10/02/2007 3:48 PM

You know, that lead paint might enable those toys to successfully repopulate Bikini Atoll. I hear it's still some real hot real estate:


(Project Baker hydrogen bomb test)

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#6

Re: Humor: China to Execute 10 Million Recalled Toys

10/02/2007 5:56 PM

The Chinese should manufacture a number of toy exterminators. The toys can solve their own problems.

As a child I played with lead soldiers made in GB or Germany. OK we did not know about global pollution, warming, cooling, filling etc. What about making a point and recall and execute the entire tin brigade?

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Guru

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#7
In reply to #6

Re: Humor: China to Execute 10 Million Recalled Toys

10/02/2007 6:00 PM

ROFLMAO!!! Thaz right.

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#8
In reply to #6

Re: Humor: China to Execute 10 Million Recalled Toys

10/02/2007 8:29 PM

Yes when I was a child lead was in all house paint we used to collect water for drinking of the roof. I played with tin and lead cast toys. In science class we played with mercury. however people are living longer than ever and all the old ones were exposed to lead and other nasties without even knowing about them. Whilst I am in full agreement in taking harmfull materials out of the environment whenever possible in lots of instances paranoia has taken over from common sense. For example lead in solder how many babies do you see sucking printed circuit boards. Most children that play with Barbie dolls etc are well past the age of sucking toys. On another note we should also be looking very hard at the companies who commissioned these toys. Did there tender docs specify no lead paint etc, and did there evaluation procedure's go so far as to check what was offered or did they just look at the bottom line? I suspect the later. The Chinese are churning out a lot of junk right now but from all this they will learn and in 10 years watch-out.

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#10
In reply to #8

Re: Humor: China to Execute 10 Million Recalled Toys

10/03/2007 5:31 PM

"Yes when I was a child lead was in all house paint we used to collect water for drinking of the roof. I played with tin and lead cast toys. In science class we played with mercury. however people are living longer than ever and all the old ones were exposed to lead and other nasties without even knowing about them."

I am concerned that WE DON'T REALLY KNOW AS MUCH AS WE THINK WE KNOW about chemical actions in our bodies. The WHO, USEPA and others set up guidelines or laws regulating what is healthful and what is not. Their evaluations are based on statistical studies. Many times those statistics are flawed. Physicians (many of whom are politically motivated) are not routinely trained in statistics and rely on the results of analysis by statisticians. If all statisticians understood what type of data they were dealing with and the subjectivity of the data they would not make the pronouncements they make. A classic case of this is the relatively recent review of the WHO data set on the toxicity of arsenic in water. The WHO suggested 10ppb max arsenic in drinking water as a guideline [reduced from the 50 ppb limit used previously] and the EPA made it into law. When the WHO data was reviewed by the US NIH, they determined the statistics had been improperly conducted and that there was no health threat for water containing <150 ppb As. Laws should be passed based on facts, not "it seemed like a good idea". The $20+ Billion to be spent over 20 years could well be spent on more important issues.

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#9

Re: Humor: China to Execute 10 Million Recalled Toys

10/03/2007 5:24 PM

They won't be executed. They'll be sent to work in toy factory with no pay to make more cheap toy.

The recall is planned to replace workers die from overworking.


Pineapple

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