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Powerful Telescope In The Ocean

03/07/2017 3:12 PM

Why can't we take the most powerful telescope being built and instead of put it into space put it in the Ocean,I think that would be neat.

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#1

Re: Heidi'S Got a Question foe you too

03/07/2017 3:16 PM

I said, "What would be the porpoise in that?"

(I'll be here all week folks. Try the veal...)

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#5
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Re: Heidi'S Got a Question foe you too

03/07/2017 3:35 PM

All week? I fish you would re-cod-sider.

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#20
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Re: Heidi'S Got a Question foe you too

03/08/2017 3:33 PM

Well, if we don't do it, salmon else will!

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#2

Re: Heidi'S Got a Question foe you too

03/07/2017 3:28 PM

While light pollution would not be such a big issue... the atmosphere would still get in the way.

That and stabilization would get $toopid.

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#3
In reply to #2

Re: Heidi'S Got a Question foe you too

03/07/2017 3:32 PM

I can't think of a worse place to put it. The stabilization alone would make this an exercise in frutility.

Yes I know I spelt it wrong, but the question was so ridiculous I thought the answer should be a little as well.

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#4

Re: Heidi'S Got a Question foe you too

03/07/2017 3:33 PM

Do you mean looking into the ocean with it? You wouldn't see very far due to the clarity of water vs. air or the vacuum of space. Don't think you'll even find Nemo that way.

If you meant floating it in the ocean, looking up, stability would be your issue then, and a bad case of sea sickness.

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#6

Re: Heidi'S Got a Question foe you too

03/07/2017 3:46 PM

The creatures of the ocean wouldn't give up the space for such a project.

They're too shellfish.

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#8
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Re: Heidi'S Got a Question foe you too

03/07/2017 4:39 PM

I carp believe you just posted that on line.

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#9
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Re: Heidi'S Got a Question foe you too

03/07/2017 4:57 PM

jus following the rules.. hic.. and there's a two USB port minim.

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#12
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Re: Heidi'S Got a Question foe you too

03/07/2017 7:33 PM

That guy drinks like a fish. I bet when he's fin-ished with that he won't be able to sea strait.

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#13
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Re: Heidi'S Got a Question foe you too

03/07/2017 8:00 PM

he might not see strait but he might sea salt and rosemary? I wonder how they're doing anyway?

I used to listen to this nut when I was a kid.. thanks! JP

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#17
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Re: Heidi'S Got a Question foe you too

03/08/2017 6:30 AM

For cod's sake, stop it, otherwise expect to be herring from CR4's lawyers! What kind of a plaice is CR4 becoming?

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#23
In reply to #17

Re: Heidi'S Got a Question foe you too

03/08/2017 4:07 PM

Isn't CR4 a site for engine-herring?

We write this carp because the pen is mightier than the sword fish!

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#26
In reply to #17

Re: Heidi'S Got a Question foe you too

03/21/2017 6:15 PM

Why stop dreaming why stop asking questions why wondering. Do you that in the Hindu culture leaving scholarly notes are accepted/ acceptable due to any helpful input that just might either ignite a spontaneous chain reaction of thoughts that lead to innovations, inventions and ideas. So I'm not going to stop, that would be ignorant and they say "there is no question that is a dumb question". Thanks for your input though

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#7

Re: Heidi'S Got a Question foe you too

03/07/2017 3:48 PM

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#18
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Re: Heidi'S Got a Question foe you too

03/08/2017 7:27 AM

Good Clip

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#22
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Re: Heidi'S Got a Question foe you too

03/08/2017 3:37 PM

I really hope our OP didn't get too upset with all the fish jokes, and watched that.

Heidi, tell us a bit more about your idea.

Were you talking about an optical telescope?

Looking down into the ocean?

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#27
In reply to #22

Re: Heidi'S Got a Question foe you too

03/21/2017 6:32 PM

Thanks and yes I was talking about the telescope optical telescope that I think they were building somewhere around the year 2013/2014 and it was said to be the most powerful yet that has the capability of seeing however a many thousands of light-years into the future and I started wondering about that from up above and was thinking why haven't we put something like that in the water as far as exploring the deepest areas of the sea or even from a defensive position as far as anything under water or being able to see heck who knows another countries submarines or anything they have underwater for that matter. That's all. I also think it would be neat to use silicon somehow under water maybe to form something that is impeneratable. Maybe Global Foundries might like it.

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#10

Re: Heidi'S Got a Question foe you too

03/07/2017 5:30 PM

You guy want to make ocean jokes? Kip Addotta has got us all beat.

Lyrics to his song wet dream :

It was April the 41st, being a quadruple leap year
I was driving in downtown Atlantis
My Barracuda was in the shop, so I was in a rented Stingray, and it was
overheating
So I pulled into a Shell station
They said I'd blown a seal
I said, "Fix the damn thing and leave my private life out of it, okay
pal?"
While they were doing that I walked over to a place called the oyster
bar -- a real dive
But I knew the owner, he used to play for the Dolphins
I said, "Hi, Gil!!!"
You hafta yell, he's hard of herring
CHORUS:
Think I had a wet dream
Cruisin' through the Gulf Stream
Oooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Wet dream...
Gil was also down on his luck
Fact is, he was barely keeping his head below water
I gullied up to the sandbar
He poured the usual
Rusty snail, hold the grunion, shaken, not stirred
With a peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich on the side -- heavy on the
mako
I slipped him a fin -- on porpoise
I was feeling good
I even dropped a sand dollar in the box for Jerry's Squids -- for the
halibut
Well, the place was crowded
We were packed in like sardines
They were all there to listen to the big band sounds of Tommy Dorsal --
what sole
Tommy was rockin' the place with a very popular tuna -- "Salmon Chanted
Evening"
And the stage was surrounded by screaming groupers
Probably there to see the bass player
One of them was this cute little yellowtail
And she's giving ME the eye
So I figure, this is my chance for a little fun
You know -- a piece of Pisces
But she said things I just couldn't fathom
She was too deep, and seemed to be under a lot of pressure

Boy, could she drink
She drank like a... she drank A LOT...
I said, "What's your sign?"
She said, "Aquarium"
I said, "GREAT!!! Let's get tanked!"
CHORUS
I invited her up to my place for a little midnight bait
I said, "C'mon baby, it'll only take a few minnows"
She threw me that same old line
"Not tonight -- I got a haddock"
And she wasn't kiddin' either, 'cuz in came the biggest, meanest looking
haddock I'd ever seen come down the pike
He was covered with mussels
He came over to me, he said, "Listen shrimp -- don't you come trolling
around here"
What a crab
This guy was steamed -- I could see the anchor in his eyes
I turned to him, I said, "Abalone -- You're just being shellfish"
Well, I knew it was going to be trouble, and so did Gil, 'cuz he was
already on the phone to the cods
The haddock hits me with a sucker punch
I catch him with a left hook
He eels over
It was a fluke, but there he was, lying on the deck, flat as a mackerel
Kelpless
I said, "Forget the cods, Gil, this guy's gonna need a sturgeon"
Well, the yellowtail was impressed with the way I landed her boyfriend
She came over to me, she said, "Hey big boy, you're really a game fish"
"What's your name?"
I said, "Marlin"
CHORUS
Well from then on, we had a whale of a time
I took her to dinner
I took her to dance
I bought her a bouquet of flounders
And then I went home with her
And what did I get for my trouble?
A case of the clams
CHORUS
CHORUS/FADE


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#16
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Re: Heidi'S Got a Question foe you too

03/08/2017 5:16 AM

This is an extract from the book "The Fully Authorised History of I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue", but, the quote comes from an earlier BBC radio four program: "I'm sorry I'll read that again" (ISIRTA).

DH = David Hatch

GG = Graeme Garden

JC = John Cleese

ISIRTA also "starred" Bill Oddie, Tim Brooke-Taylor and Jo Kendall (apologies if I've forgotten anyone)

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#11

Re: Heidi'S Got a Question foe you too

03/07/2017 6:44 PM

Not enough light!

Or

Not easy to stabilise.

Depends which direction you want it to look.

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#28
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Re: Heidi'S Got a Question foe you too

03/21/2017 6:38 PM

Well what about indiglo, and stabilization can't we make something out of silicon that could be impenertable and that could separate water from per say some sort of enclosed space around it? That would be neat.

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#30
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Re: Heidi'S Got a Question foe you too

03/21/2017 7:30 PM

and stabilization can't we make something out of silicon that could be impenertable and that could separate water from per say some sort of enclosed space around it?

Not sure what you mean, are you talking about a man-made island?

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#14

Re: Heidi'S Got a Question foe you too

03/07/2017 10:49 PM

Sorry Heidi, the answers here are too fishy. You'd be better off asking Google. At least people here didn't clam up.

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#15

Re: Heidi'S Got a Question foe you too

03/08/2017 2:19 AM

The biggest telescope being built - the Giant Magellan Telescope - isn't being built in space, but on the ground in Chile's Atacama desert. You want as little atmosphere in the way as possible, to reduce distortion from turbulence, and so they're building at a very high altitude where the air is thin and largely undisturbed by thermal effects.

How old are you, Heidi?

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#19

Re: Powerful Telescope In The Ocean

03/08/2017 2:55 PM

Well you could, but the ocean waves (which exist even in the high sea) swell and wane, and by bending the telescope, would render it out of focus. The next problem is salt spray ruining the atomic thick anti-reflection layers on the optics. The next problem is the issue with the thickest part of the atmosphere being at sea level, thus more twinkle to overcome, more distortion, etc. Why not just draw stars with a crayon?

Other than that, I don't think a ten foot pole would touch it with me.

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#21
In reply to #19

Re: Powerful Telescope In The Ocean

03/08/2017 3:37 PM

Other than that, I don't think a ten foot pole would touch it with me.

Almost 10' pole.

(sorry, everyone else was doing bad jokes)

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#24

Re: Powerful Telescope In The Ocean

03/08/2017 6:38 PM

This has given me inspiration.. why don't we put a floating railway on the ocean and do away with container ships? Or put the container ships on wheels and drive them up onto railroad tracks? Then we could get rid of some ships or trains.

If starfish have eyes.. I'll bet they really twinkle

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#25
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Re: Powerful Telescope In The Ocean

03/09/2017 5:10 AM

"If starfish have eyes.. I'll bet they really twinkle"

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#29
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Re: Powerful Telescope In The Ocean

03/21/2017 6:47 PM

Cool so you're going to start building under water and maybe pull together some cockmainy way to help the enviorment as far as green house gases go? Leaving everything from the ground up alone, stop blowing holes in the Ozone and actually devise somesort of living enviorment underwater that doesn't use gas or pollute anything.

Radical more power to you

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#31
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Re: Powerful Telescope In The Ocean

03/27/2017 8:24 PM

Heidi, you need to take your meds!

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#32
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Re: Powerful Telescope In The Ocean

03/27/2017 11:07 PM

oh she's just fine..

Very entertaining

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#33
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Re: Powerful Telescope In The Ocean

03/28/2017 11:35 AM

Heidi sheds new light on drowning cats as a means of preventing pollution.

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