For going upstairs, get one of those artist's articulating mannequins that you can pose in all sorts of ways. Or maybe some Play-Doh, and do claymation. For downstairs, try a Slinky. I can't give a GA to an OP, but I'll toss this a few stars; it's such a hoot!

Fer gawdsake, you sound like Bob Pease. There's at least one earlier article that was better, but I can't find it just now. Pease, by the way, is probably the best or second best analog designer that ever walked the earth. But, the best part is he's grouchier than I am.

Feel free to add any simulation software requests or experiences that you simply found so retarded, scary, or so stupid you had to laugh about them when you first heard it

Where's the any key? I don't an any key...

I do.

There seems to be plenty of stimulation simulation software freely available.
Kris

(BTW, I think moving the bowl is a bad idea, it's tricky enough evacuating one's bowel on a stationary bowl)

It's not free

Del

Have you looked here? The Sims Bigger than life.

How about interactive software to simulate making love to my wife? (Must be interactive. I have enough non-interactive simulations.)

We've been looking for some software to help us with a small demolition project

Great post. I work in the flight simulation field and many of us have frequently discussed the desire for some simulation software to help us write our simulation code.

Actually during development we will use simulations of our simulator so we can test our software prior to the hardware being available.

We don't have any bowel movement simulations......but one of our aural cue engineers was able to record a toilet flush on a 737 and incorporate that into the simulation so it would occur from time to time. The recording was purely by accident as someone was using the lavatory while he was gathering sound data from the cockpit. He was able to extract the toilet flush to remove it from the sounds he wanted and then as some what of a joke decided to have it replayed randomly.

He was able to extract the toilet flush to remove it from the sounds he wanted and then as some what of a joke decided to have it replayed randomly.
Ah, that's engineering at it's finest
Del

Call a six sigma black belt or masterblack belt to be safe

crm

And the pilots got a big kick out of it as well.

Heres two more for you. Enjoy!

I am building an overuntiy device and I need some simulation software thats not physics based. The programs I am using just dont work. They keep saying that my device doesnt work. I know it doesnt work. Thats why I need better simulation software so that I can solve the problem of why I cant get it to work.

My vehical quit working and I need to fix it. Can someone suggest a simulation software system that will alow me to fix it myself. I am an enegineer and as you know all things can only be fixed by engineeres that have the right simulator software. So obviously there is no hope that the auto mechanics down the street can fix it either since they are not engineers but just mechanics that dont have simulator software.

TCMTech: Your details seem to be all right, so you only have to tune up some petty fundamentals.

But I have good news for you: Wall Street is a self-sustainable source of simulations like the one you need. They are specialists in simulation of over-unity devices, and they proved excelling at it. Moreover, their software not only neglects physics. It also neglects reality, which is far better. Take care of replacing "money" by "energy" in their equations.

This and the thread as a whole: good stuff!

If I had time, I'd love to put together a simulation package for over-unity devices. As you probably, know there are zillions of people working on "replications" of over-unity experiments (that have never worked and will never work) because they are 1. idiots, 2. insane 3. frauds hoping to get money for further experiments, or 4. jokesters. I'd sell to these folks a simulation package that uses as its input the desired outcome. It would then use common formulas with the exponents changed or otherwise tweaked to support the outcome. Where no existing formula seems plausible enough to be believable it would generate a formula to fit, and name it with some Germans guy's name. "Although this simulation predicts only 3.4 times over unity prior to Schwienfurth correction, the post-correction value is a more attractive 13,456 times (1,345,600%)."

Then, when the over-unity types show up here, we could be more encouraging: "Yes looks like you are really on to something! Freesim(tm) is perfectly suited to running valid simulations of processes just like the one you've described, and comes with a module for printing out a "Certificate of Simulation" that can be used to show to potential investors. $1449.95 via direct bank draft."

How about......

Is there a simulation software package that can help someone ask a naiive or inanely stupid question on CR4 and then avoid the inevitable tirade of abuse about the poster being a complete dork?

What would I do for entertainment

or maybe this should be a reply to Blink

Garthh, please link this stuff in appropriate order. Innocent people will miss out on all the fun.

We never did get any software for our MAD [Mutually Assured Distraction]

For the rest of us these things are built in!

You need to find a good psychologist to help you find your problem. It is not software. It is imagination, curiosity, and self stimulation.

You have the build in 'software' get out and do things, go to new places, do things you are afraid of, things you think are terrible, scary, and immoral!

Get out of bed every morning, tell your self you will be happy all day. You decide what will make you sad, happy, and what ever you want, this is what you need to do to be happy.

Only you can decide how you will be, how you act, react, and how you permit yourself to be treated.

You must look at your self very carefully and decide how you presented yourself, no one else is responsible for how you present yourself, only you.

Don't brag about things that never happened, things you cannot do, or things you can do but seem unbelievable.

You maybe important, however we fire the president very four years - we may rehire him for another four years but he has to earn our respect and our vote. You must do this everyday!

You get respect by your actions and not your talking or bragging!

When someone else is talking, don't be planing on what you want to say, hear what other people think, and then and only then, reply.

jmart23 makes a good point.

Go slap a bull on the ass

Heres another one thats been inspired by a few old and not so old threads I recently read and Jmart23's comments in post 22.

I have talked with my co workers about finding the simulator programs I had inquired about here the other day. They suggested that I get 'A Life'. They are jerks though and wont tell me who makes it. They just keep telling me I am the one who has to find it.

I have spent days now searching everywhere on the internet and have used every search engine I can find I cannot find the 'A Life' simulator program vendor anywhere.

So please can anyone here tell me where I can get 'A life' at. Without 'A Life' I just don't feel I will be able to do my job as well as possible. My friends also have suggested that I get 'A Life' as well and they know nothing about simulation programs. Everyone seems to know about it and what they think it could do for me but still no one seems to know where I can find it at.

So please someone help me get 'A Life'. I think that it could seriously help my career and programming resources if I had it.

The Bird-Horse-Muffin Test