I don't think everyone can jump...

What a let-down.

We are asked to believe that there is a magical force to transport everyone to the site, but then it goes away after they all jump???

Why bother jumping?

Why bother jumping?

Well, that does make a difference. After going back and looking, I now see that everyone is without clothing.

That would make it much more interesting.

If the human mass was evenly distributed about the globe and the accelerations of the jump were equal, wouldn't the sum of the force vectors cancel out?

The article references a couple other science blogs that proved that people can't really influence the Earth based on Earths shear weight of 588 quintillion short tons.

"Resonance, my boy, resonance!" - Dr. Theophilus Smeg

Gently swish your paw back and forth in a bathtub full of water and, before long Ms. Uti will be ridin' your furry backside to clean up the mess.

Well, 70% of them would be drowning. Yeah, I know. Details.

It'd make a great rock video.

In fact...

Perhaps something could be choreographed to the Van Halen hit "Jump"

^{_{Couldn't hit your link, blocked here for some reason}}

Thank's...I needed that!

Or perhaps: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&v=XxtXQ23TqjU&NR=1

Far more destructive if everyone flushed at the same time.

Yeah, every time I get embarrassed, I go into the bathroom and flush.

From the people and State of Rhode Island.

Your petition for assembly has been refused.

The Sanitation Department, they say ain't cleaning up all that mess!

It's could be hypothesized that repeated jumping by all manner of creature and beast, that a compaction of the Earth would occur, this in turn causing the planet to accelerate in to a larger orbit, solving Global Warming.....

Compaction would cause a change in rate of rotation not orbital energy. Since semi-major axis is a function of specific orbital energy, not rotational energy, there would be no increase in semi-major axis.

There may be a better approach to changing semi-major axis.

;0)

Well I didn't say correctly hypothesized.......

I'm wondering how much compaction would really occur? Undrained compressive strength of firm soil [indented by thumb pressure] is 2100 to 4200 psf, shear strength of stiff clay is about the same. I just measured my shoe and it is 0.42 sqft, times two is 0.84 sqft. I weigh 250lbs, so I exert 305 psf on the soil. Seven to fourteen people of my weight would need to be on my shoulders to even compress the soil to failure. If we were packed like sardines, we couldn't all jump at the same time. If we could, the compression would not be uniform because we are all different weights. Wet soil would just kind of splort, with very little compaction occuring. Yes?

Besides, wouldn't most areas of North America already be compacted? Farming, urban development?

Years ago, the Chinese did do that. The plan was to upset the Earth's orbit and send it careening into space. That was part of a larger extortion plan. Luckily we, on this side of the world, heard about the plan and jumped at exactly the same moment the Chinese did, cancelling the Chinese Effect. It must be true, the National Enquirer said so.

I thought everybody farted. That was the Enquirer's tale at my super's checkout.

Farting could have the same effect. The atmosphere could bulge, then burst. The sudden release of all that gas would be like letting go of a balloon before you tied if off. The accompanying pbpbpbpbpbhhhhttttt sound would be deafening. And the random night-day cycle would be very disorienting.

In this hypothetical situation, I'm pretty sure most people wouldn't even notice the night-day cycle since they would be too busy dealing with increased methane in the air (and it's fun combustible attributes)

I just had a horrid thought.

Never mind.

Don't get me started, I used to work at a bookshop and sold that 'rag'. Incidentally, I read that particular article out of general boredom (a small group of very over weight Americans to the rescue jumping simultaneously on the opposite side of the world to counter the Chinese plot if I remember correctly), what was your excuse for reading it?

Far more believable than their painted egg carton alien article..

My aunt used to read it. There wasn't much for me to do when I was sent to her for "reprogramming". I was a bad little Beaker.

You?!! Perish the thought!

Representative Henry "Hank" Johnson of SC posed similar concerns. Only instead of

Guam tipping over, the entire Earth will shift.

You can see his discourse on youtube

It might have no macro effect on the world, but it would lower the elevation of Rhode Island. There would be some bounce back but not all of it.

Texas would probably collapse because of those big holes left when all the oil was sucked out.

This would probably result in parts of LA, OK, AR, NM, Mexico, and a lot of the Gulf of New Mexico flowing downhill into the void resulting in a stressing of the North American Plate and possibly initiating an inverse of a subductive event - oh man - I hate to think about that.

I think we should regulate mob jumping to a fixed number of people. Perhaps we could use invasive algorithms that would limit the ability of the mob to communicate/organize the event to a fixed number of people based on their total mass and impulse coefficient; where the impulse coeffient of each person could be estimated from demographic data collected and then dumped into a huge que for serial shorting.

At least we don't have to worrry about lone wolfs.

So, time to try something else. If everyone lined up on the equator and faced west and all ran the hundred meters in 10 seconds, would it affect the rotational velocity of the earth?

Not until they stopped.

That would be like germs running on a basketball...

First you'd have to explain to all the FArsebook types what 'west' is.

Only at the endpoints. Mostly. Prolly have more effect on Earth's atmosphere.

Of course we could all break wind at the same time. If we time it exactly right, Mars might get some cloud cover along with that shiny new rover.

Put one lone person on the other side, launching him into outer space.

Her.

I didn't mean to slight anybody; in the forum worlds I inhabit, most of the space cadets are guys.

First order results: absolutely nothing, all cancel.

Second order result: The chinese and indian outnumber everbody from their side. It will start rhitmyc oscillations of the surface. Resulting in low level, but discernable (at least believed so)series of ground shakes spreading out from there.

Third order results:Tsunamis measured in millimeters spread out from there. Spacelab films the spreading waves.

Fourth order results: true believers in the mothership dispose of all their earthly possessions, and go to the desert to wait for the pickup.

Fifth order results: at least 2 theorethical astronomers develop new theories, as to the coupling these events and dark energy, and multiverses.

Sixth?; my crystal ball start to cloud up a bit. Have to lay down to conte mplate....

As an engineer I fully realise that getting all the people to jump together would be harder than herding cats. So the obvious solution is to take the people out of the equation and automate the process. Firstly you don't have to move the people to one place. Each community is encouraged to build a frame capable of hoisting a ten ton weight ten feet into the air. All the designs can be different dependant on available local materials. It doesn't actually matter if one community in Idaho fails to build it's frame provided most of the rest of the world do it. Fit all the frames with a release mechanism which is triggered by the light of the rising sun or lack of light at the setting sun. During the day all each community has to do is raise it's weight and and set the trigger. The following dawn (or dusk depending if you wish to on speed up or slow down the earth) the weight falls impacting the earth and delivering a small impulse. All the impulses will be in the same direction relative to the direction of the earth around the sun because dawn is at a different time for each longitude. The cumulative totals of all the ten ton weights will have an effect. Over a period of ten/twenty years the speed of the earth will change. This will adjust the orbit relative to the sun and can be used to counter the effects of global warming.

Now having solved the global warming problem, will somebody give me a challenge that will s t r e t c h my powers of ingenuity.

Well, okay, seeing as the U.S. and some microscopic island nation are the only ones still using the Imperial system of measurement (jove knows why, it's so bogdam archaic it defies description), make everyone else use it. You *did* want a difficult engineering challenge, yes? :-)))

Herding cats difficult ? Looks easy to me.

Tell me how to smoke & drink coffee at the same time (whilst also typing). No, smoking coffee is not an allowable solution, nor is a coffee enema.

Not possible. You are a man and like simultaneously; brushing your hair, applying lipstick, talking on the phone and driving a car, this is an example of multi-tasking. And we all know that men are not capable of multi tasking. Now if you had been a woman...........

...........and women think that multi-tasking is a good thing!!!!

I tried asking for directions once, and even surrendered the TV remote in a moment of insanity, but it was just too painful. Those were just singular tasks, and nowhere near the state of 'multitasking nirvana' that I've heard of. I suppose I may as well take off the dress now .

"Love thine enemas." -- Fr. Guido Sarducci

You have never been to some trailer parks.

Not while sober .

Not a coffee enema... a cigarette enema; whilst also drinking and typing.

(Seriously. I'm not blowing smoke up your %##)

I've got to keep my cheeks clenched - so I don't fall off the chair when reading this stuff .

In a pinch (unfortunate choice of words, I admit) toke on a good Aliados Valentino whilst imbibing your noxious elixir. An overstuffed chair helps considerably in terms of raw endurance.

Who says men can't multitask? lol

Like wearing a seatbelt when driving, I have to pucker up before reading CR4 .

lol. With a slight mod in the seating you could power the damn thing. Still haven't solved the texting-whilst-driving bit yet, but maybe I'll get lucky and hit my ex.

It's almost like looking in a mirror !

That's some mirror! lol

It would be far worse if we could orchestrate a way to get everyone to

1) Get everyone to drive off a ramp like Bo Duke, simultaneously accelerating in one direction and also reducing the mass of the earth by lifting all the cars off the planet at the same time. Would this be like weighing a cage of flying pigeons? What if we had a billion cages of flatulent pigeons, tossed like a kegger at a Scottish festival, all in the general direction of... France?

or

2) to increase the effect of running the same direction, what if everyone just pulled really hard way up high on a light pole or stop sign or tree or some other post? That would surely magnify the "no, please go this way instead" torque direction/intention.

Speaking of intention, could we not just get Dr. Dyer's tribe to "intend" the earth to be smaller by compaction, or spin faster or slower? Yes, but I'd much rather see 2 billion speeding cars drive off ramps in the Grand Mythbusters Series Finale.

Caption This for 08/24/12

It'll never happen. If I ever decide to jump, there are a few people I'd like to push first .

Do bungee cords come in razor wire?

(little does she know I'm considering tying the knot all over again)

Nah - razor wire would be far too quick .