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Garfield Phones Wash Ashore in France for Almost 30 Years

Posted April 13, 2019 12:00 AM by M-ReeD
Pathfinder Tags: Environment plastic

Why have Garfield phones been washing ashore in France? A thirty-year old mystery has finally been solved.

The novelty phones first began washing up along the coastline of Brittany, back in the 1980s when, let’s face it, was likely the last time anyone wanted a Garfield phone. Since then, bits and pieces of the plastic orange deconstructed cats have been making an appearance along the shorelines.

It was recently discovered that a metal shipping container from the 1980s lodged itself in a sea cave that has been virtually inaccessible ever since due to the tides. Hoping to find a shipping container chock full of Garfield phones and possibly other items from that decade, researchers were discouraged when they finally reached the container to discover that it was now entirely empty.

So while the mystery has finally been solved, researchers are alarmed that the plastic items along with the container’s other contents had escaped into the ocean over time, doing untold harm to marine life.

Save the damage the phones might be inflicting on the environment, Garfield phones aren’t necessarily the worst things that could wash up from the 80s. The whole of Brittany’s coastline could have instead been inundated with big hair or shoulder pads, for instance. Still they aren’t necessarily the best things that could wash up from the 80s either. Given the choice, I would much prefer this.

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#1

Re: Garfield phones wash ashore in France for almost 30 years

04/13/2019 1:31 PM

I'm thinking Odie is responsible...

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#2

Re: Garfield phones wash ashore in France for almost 30 years

04/13/2019 1:53 PM

..."Number of Containers Lost at Sea Falling, Survey Shows. An average of 1,390 containers have been lost at sea each year over the past three years, according to a new survey of the world's ocean carriers by the World Shipping Council.Jul 11, 2017"...

https://gcaptain.com/number-of-containers-lost-at-sea-falling-survey-shows/

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#3
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Re: Garfield phones wash ashore in France for almost 30 years

04/13/2019 4:52 PM

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#4

Re: Garfield Phones Wash Ashore in France for Almost 30 Years

04/13/2019 10:28 PM

"... doing untold harm to marine life."

I seriously doubt any marine life was harmed.

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#5
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Re: Garfield Phones Wash Ashore in France for Almost 30 Years

04/13/2019 10:45 PM

Sharks are dangerous enough on their own without them coordinating group attacks by phone.

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#17
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Re: Garfield Phones Wash Ashore in France for Almost 30 Years

04/17/2019 4:04 PM

Maybe catfish are using them...

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#9
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Re: Garfield Phones Wash Ashore in France for Almost 30 Years. Anchovie Shortage

04/14/2019 8:33 AM

Fat Orange Cats Love Pasta

Are you kidding ? There has been a 30 year low in the sampled populations of pizza anchovies in the eastern Atlantic as well as a global glut of unconsumed lasagne.

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#6

Re: Garfield Phones Wash Ashore in France for Almost 30 Years

04/13/2019 11:01 PM

..."researchers were discouraged when they finally reached the container to discover that it was now entirely empty."...

If the container was empty, how do they know that's the source?

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#7
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Re: Garfield Phones Wash Ashore in France for Almost 30 Years

04/14/2019 5:12 AM

Because they said so and it is compulsory that you believe them. Don't try to use democracy, freedom of rights and all that mumbo, you don't have that. Just believe, it sound all Captain Nemo-ish and cool.

Also the 'Liquidated Stock, Garfield Phones, All must Go' sign on the container was a dead give-away.

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#8
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Re: Garfield Phones Wash Ashore in France for Almost 30 Years

04/14/2019 6:05 AM

They probably had the container BIC serial number

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Re: Garfield Phones Wash Ashore in France for Almost 30 Years

04/14/2019 10:36 AM

Don't know if that would be conclusive proof, if the container were marked, and if it was still legible, it still would only give the owner or agent info not the contents, that would have to come from the shipper, and it still might not be definitive...

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#11

Re: Garfield Phones Wash Ashore in France for Almost 30 Years

04/14/2019 12:51 PM

It's a pity all those lost containers are full of trashy products instead of Spanish doubloons. Of course your ship had to be totally wrecked before you'd let go of the booty, back when the cargo was really worth something. The amount of stuff just slipping away seems kind of excessive, even for sheer and utter rubbish ???!!!!

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#12
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Re: Garfield Phones Wash Ashore in France for Almost 30 Years

04/14/2019 1:14 PM

Not to mention theft, which is also a major problem topping $100 million a year....

https://www.overdriveonline.com/cargo-theft-incidents-values-rise-sensiguard-says/

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#13
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Re: Garfield Phones Wash Ashore in France for Almost 30 Years

04/15/2019 1:03 AM

Do you really think $100m is a big problem? Don't get me wrong I wouldn't pass it up but just the port of Long Beach moves $250bn (2017 figures)

https://www.maritime-executive.com/article/top-20-u-s-ports-ranked-on-2017-import-volume

so the theft rate just on that basis would be 0.04% which would be damn good. Or its 30c per person (every man, woman, child and non binary in the US) either way seems like a rounding error to me.

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#14
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Re: Garfield Phones Wash Ashore in France for Almost 30 Years

04/15/2019 9:59 AM

Back when I was working for Smalley transport we had a late night visit from Louie and Guido to remind us that our loss rate should never drop below 10% or people would "ask questions".

"Now just how are we supposed to do that?" I asked.

The big guys just smiled and said, "Be creative."

It's an actual business model.

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#15

Re: Garfield Phones Wash Ashore in France for Almost 30 Years

04/15/2019 11:43 AM

<...doing untold harm to marine life...> Wot?

As <...marine life...> doesn't make calls, the claim is rather surprising. After all, one would expect the batteries to be flat after all that time being immersed in seawater...

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Re: Garfield Phones Wash Ashore in France for Almost 30 Years

04/15/2019 12:12 PM

Might create a whole school of phony phish....

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