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Cosmology: Sumerians Look On In Confusion As God Creates World

01/09/2010 4:41 PM

Members of the earth's earliest known civilization, the Sumerians, looked on in shock and confusion some 6,000 years ago as God, the Lord Almighty, created Heaven and Earth.

According to recently excavated clay tablets inscribed with cuneiform script, thousands of Sumerians—the first humans to establish systems of writing, agriculture, and government—were working on their sophisticated irrigation systems when the Father of All Creation reached down from the ether and blew the divine spirit of life into their thriving civilization.

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#1

Re: Cosmology: Sumerians Look On In Confusion As God Creates World

01/09/2010 8:45 PM

For the benefit of others - please note the satirical nature of The Onion organization.

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#2

Re: Cosmology: Sumerians Look On In Confusion As God Creates World

01/10/2010 12:37 PM

This just goes to prove what I have always known...Douglas Adams was right, we are all the offspring of a group of insane people who's space ship was programmed to crash (and likely kill all aboard) onto Earth.

For those of you who are not familiar...there was no missing link...our crazy ancestors caused the deaths of all of the indigenous beings on Earth upon their arrival here.

I am just soooo proud of our shared heritage!So long and thanks for all the______!(if you know the story you will know what goes there)

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#3

Re: Cosmology: Sumerians Look On In Confusion As God Creates World

01/10/2010 1:43 PM

Sumerians disappeared only the stupid creatures remained alive!

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#4

Re: Cosmology: Sumerians Look On In Confusion As God Creates World

01/10/2010 2:43 PM

hnf. Tacky props, ludicrous content.... guess the world was created by the goons from MK Ultra! Whoda thunkit.

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#5
In reply to #4

Re: Cosmology: Sumerians Look On In Confusion As God Creates World

01/10/2010 3:55 PM

MK Ultra never really existed, it's all in your head.

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#6
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Re: Cosmology: Sumerians Look On In Confusion As God Creates World

01/10/2010 4:08 PM

It also reminds me of certain absurd displays involving the planting of a flag on (a) an ice flow (b) the moon (c) some other place you are unlikely to call home. The flag propping is usually accompanied by a dramatic speech of some kind, about the intense feelings of ownership kindled by conquest.

Although, it's more exactly like Columbus 'discovering' America. Woo woo to that, paleface.

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#7
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Re: Cosmology: Sumerians Look On In Confusion As God Creates World

01/10/2010 4:19 PM

The course of history might have been different had the "New Worlders" "discovered" the "Old World"....

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#8
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Re: Cosmology: Sumerians Look On In Confusion As God Creates World

01/10/2010 4:34 PM

Too true. Now if we could just interest certain real estate developers in the frontiers of outer space....

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#9
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Re: Cosmology: Sumerians Look On In Confusion As God Creates World

01/10/2010 11:24 PM

Outstanding idea! And now that water has been discovered on the Moon, we just add a pinch of Marketing and Voila!

Lunar SwamplandPrime Real Estate!

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#10
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Re: Cosmology: Sumerians Look On In Confusion As God Creates World

01/10/2010 11:33 PM

The Third-Migration 'New Worlders?' (still extant and likely to remain so)

The Second-Migration 'New Worlders?' (totally exterminated by 3rd)

The First-Migration 'New Worlders?' (totally exterminated by 2nd)

Of which group of 'New Worlders' do you speak?

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#11
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Re: Cosmology: Sumerians Look On In Confusion As God Creates World

01/10/2010 11:36 PM

Now that's a self-indictment if I've ever heard one!

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#12
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Re: Cosmology: Sumerians Look On In Confusion As God Creates World

01/11/2010 7:40 AM

One has to be honest with himself and self-criticism is a sign of evolution.

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#13
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Re: Cosmology: Sumerians Look On In Confusion As God Creates World

01/11/2010 12:57 PM

Don't forget the Woodpile Band. Lost but not exterminated. Invisible, or cloaked in mongrel skin to wander the packs of the world.

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#14
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Re: Cosmology: Sumerians Look On In Confusion As God Creates World

01/11/2010 1:04 PM

Lunar condo for pope election?

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#15
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Re: Cosmology: Sumerians Look On In Confusion As God Creates World

01/11/2010 1:14 PM

Survival of the Introspective?

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#16
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Re: Cosmology: Sumerians Look On In Confusion As God Creates World

01/12/2010 11:55 PM

That was satire? It sounds too realistic to be real satire...

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#17
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Re: Cosmology: Sumerians Look On In Confusion As God Creates World

01/12/2010 11:57 PM

What possible interest could the "New Worlders" have had in the "Old World"???

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#18
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Re: Cosmology: Sumerians Look On In Confusion As God Creates World

01/13/2010 1:55 AM

Monday night football?

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#19
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Re: Cosmology: Sumerians Look On In Confusion As God Creates World

01/13/2010 2:06 AM

Good point. Had the New Worlders made such a voyage, they might well have exclaimed "Yecch!" and just turned around. But where was their exploratory initiative?

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#20
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Re: Cosmology: Sumerians Look On In Confusion As God Creates World

01/15/2010 4:10 PM

oh please! exploratory initiative....Wasn't crossing the Bering Straits enough for you?

Anyway, it does seem like the "new world" was adequate to their needs. Up to the time of the "old world" arrival, they weren't troubled with overpopulation and the social ills of the "old world", where people seemed evenly divided between the desire to ship away the "undesirables" someplace else, and the impulse to escape it all by shipping aboard themselves.

I know my white ancestors left the old world for a reason.. for better places to fish, and not so cluttered with government! how about yours?

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#21

Re: Cosmology: Sumerians Look On In Confusion As God Creates World

01/17/2010 8:52 AM

Perhaps George Bernard Shaw was right when he said he thought earth was probably some sort of interplanetary lunatic asylum?

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