Asking the Wrong Questions?

Hooligans?

Soccer fans don't seem any worse than other sports and their fanatic fans...

Unfortunately those are Russian soccer thugs, who have adopted the "name" ultras following a tradition of Italian soccer club thugs.

We've had our share in the UK too.

There are no wrong questions, only wrong answers!

No one wants to be laughed at. That keeps some of us from asking questions. However, some of the "dumbest" questions gets answers that are needed.

Yes. Wrong questions do exist. When the speaker at the end of a boring presentation at the end of the day asks, " Does anyone have a question?" and someone gets up and asks some dumbass question that keeps us from leaving. Now, that's the wrong question!

Whatever the subject, the "stupid" question that is on your mind, but are afraid to ask, is probably a question shared by many others, and those many would benefit from its asking, but that does not mean the question should always be asked.

In high school English class we were studying "Far From the Madding Crowd" by 19th century British author, Thomas Hardy. In one scene, the dashing young soldier Sergeant Troy, demonstrates his prowess with a sword to the heroine, Bathsheba. At the end of his flamboyant display, he thrusts the sword towards Bathsheba's bosom and impales on the sword tip a caterpillar that had fallen onto her bodice from an overhead tree branch. The teacher asked us the meaning of having Sergeant Troy split the caterpillar on the tip of his sword. One student answered, "To show that Troy wanted to impress her with his skill." Another suggested, "To show that he wanted to frighten her." After a few minutes in which various interpretations were bandied about, the teacher stopped us and said, "Well, surely it is a phallic symbol, isn't it?" We all sat silent, blinking. The question in my head, as I'm sure was in many other young heads, was, "What's a phallic symbol?" I almost put up my hand and asked, but didn't, and to this day I am glad I didn't.

You sure should have. Those are the kinda of questions that make a class to remember. Hey hey. Just like one time in a class when I was in the National Guard, a guy asked if they would let him out of the National Guard if he joined the Army. Hey hey.

Isn't a phallic symbol a percussion instrument to accompany an organ?

I recognize a fellow fan of The Four Skins. That band used to pack the Conn Dome (a sports stadium named after Conn Smythe, founder of the Toronto Maple Leafs).

One band member was French-Canadian. His English was less than perfect, but he was well-intentioned when he said, "The women especially love our songs. Everywhere we go, they give us the clap."

That's a gaff and a half.

We've all done it. Don't worry too much, probably nobody else remembers, even the professor.

You got the intent of the original question, which, ''in short'', was:

What such gaffs do other CR4 readers have to share?

Here is a short gaff I have to share.

Oh! Do you mean the "gaff" that holds my man bits in place when I'm tucked in drag? I'm sorry darling, but mine is not for sharing!

That's a little tooooo personal from my perspective... and, I am reminded of another story ...

A loooong time ago, I was going to engineering school in San Francisco, totally ''on the cheap''... meaning that my (commute), during the long breaks, ended with an 9-hour bus ride to a bad area of S.F., to where the bus terminal was then located. The worse part was that, because I couldn't afford a taxi, I had to then walk through the large open park area, in front of, but well-removed from, the government buildings, after 3:30 AM, in the dead of night. At first, I was morbidly afraid of getting mugged. Eventually, I realized I was perfectly safe, because, it being in S.F., the resident muggers had already clocked out at the end of their work-shift, and gone home...

Ah, to be young, and foolish, once again ... This being old, and foolish, just isn't ''cuttin' it''...

Well, as my sister-in law said, "there's no fool like an old fool", after my older brother decided to demonstrate he still had the waterskiing prowess he had when he was nineteen - and spent the next several weeks visiting a chiropractor.

PS: I had no idea that "gaff" also refers to a drag under-garment until I looked it up.

When Sir Ernest Shackleton's ship, the "Endurance" was trapped and crushed like a tin can in the Antarctic ice, he had a surprising and inspiring answer to the crew who turned to him and asked in despair, "What are we going to do now?" Shackleton calmly replied, "We are going to go home."

That sounds like dark humor.

Actually not. Shackleton was serious. Thanks to Shackleton's leadership, bravery, and resourcefulness, every man survived. One of the most amazing and heroic accounts in naval history.

A famous mountaineer,I can't recall his name,tried to repeat the arduous task that Shackleton's men had taken over the frozen tundra to get help for the remaining crew.

The remaining crew resorted to digging up and eating seal and fish offal to keep from starving.

He had all of the modern shoes, clothing,insulation,etc.

He barely made it and he heaped praise upon the men who did it with practically nothing.

They were certainly made of stern stuff.

I asked an engineer one time while building a substation why did engineers always think they are right.

His reply "We have been to Uni and learnt from our betters."

My reply "So that is why the 75mm diameter aluminium J shaped busbar has a 100mm sag because you are no better than your teachers?"

His reply "We designed it!"

My Reply "Yes it looks like it was designed by an engineer!"

The replacement was a truss style busbar with a vertical dropper from the main busbar.