Dude, be excellent to each other....

Ferris dude.... righteous post...... most excellent.....

Please accept my sympathies, and please forward my condolences to Brett's family.

You are right, people should be nicer to one another. Why should anyone care about superficial differences such as race, religion, nationality or ideology? After all, in the end, when any of us get cut, we still bleed red (well, except maybe for Vulcan, who probably bleeds green).

I know some of my postings on this site are very harshly worded, but these are directed almost exclusively towards scammers and conspiracy theorists (who are practically always the same thing anyway), and my intention for doing so is to protect well-meaning people from falling for their scams. Perhaps I could learn to be a little more diplomatic to these guys. After all, my intention is only to prevent them from scamming people, not to stir up hate towards them.

A little bit o' stirring terds is, I guess more than alright. I think what I was trying to say is that make sure that you let your loved ones know that you Love them and don't take anything for granted (you know, that one person that you just told to take a flying leap and then walked a way pissed? Your best friend, wife, husband, family member whatever the title of whoever it was... )There is NO guarantee that there will be a next time to see them. Whether it is your demise or theirs .

Hmmmmmm, I guess it would best be summed up as this: BE EXCELLENT TO EACH OTHER. Don't forget to tell your loved ones that you Love them (redundant I know), take an extra couple o' minutes to spend with your kids and contrary to that popular song title from the 80's don't go away mad just go away, try to leave on a positive note.

I know I am babbling on , sorry...

Cheers

Ferris

One one side you agree that we should be nice to each other and on other hand you write bad comment about Vulcan !

We should be nice to each other. True. But on the other hand we should not take any comment here sportingly. Forget and do not take it to heart. If possible forgive also, if some body is nice. Why to increase our blood pressure, if somebody is nicer.

Sad for what you're going through. Co-worker is somebody who shares so many moments of daily life. My deep condolences.

I appreciate that you could share your grief with CR4. Cheer up and get going

Found things to enjoy is really a bless!

My deep condolences!

AC Wing.

Hi Ferris, First of all my heartly condolances to you and Late Mr.Bret's family. I dont know why he ended his life which is so precious. May be he was hurt due to any circumstances. For benefit of all in this Fourm I would like to narrate a theory which I was taught during one my seminars. This theory was invented by a American Phycologist and is like this. C=BXA, C=Final Result, B=Belief,A=Instant Action. We have many in built beliefs which are embeded in us during our childhood and subsequent growth such as "you should not do this and that, you should not tolerate this, you should........".Now instaneous action "A" will depend on the how strong is "B",so finaly "C" will be result of values of "B" & "A". Moral is one should never get mentaly excited or depressed due to any reason like fight in family, loosing a job,or firing from Boss, fighting with friends. We should remain calm and peacefull in any eventuality like a Mountain even if there is storm,thunder lightening and heavy showers. Well life is battle and everyone has to fight with strong will power. Lastly I would like to translate a stanza from "GITA" a Hindu religous book which says "When one dies his Soul simply changes body as we change old clothes and wear new ones.Soul is immortal which can not be destroyed by Fire,or Carried away by strom, Drowned by water, or destroyed through any weapons". So your friend Bret's soul is very much alive but problem is you can not see it.

Ferris,

I am truly sad for you, for your co-worker and for his friends and family.

I have had many sad occasions when co-workers have died and have tried to help those left behind; but I have never had the situation that you describe. It must have been a devasting incident.

Very nice that you could share with CR4, good news for CR4, I believe.

Keep trucking and I hope that this becomes a memory for you that you can accept - he had his reasons and that has to be, however sad, enough for us. It may well not be enough for his family; can you help them?

A sad story but it happens and is a sad part of life.

Sleepy.

Do this in remembrance of me. (Brett)

If I speak in human and angelic tongues but do not have love, I am a resounding gong or a clashing cymbal.

And if I have the gift of prophecy and comprehend all mysteries and all knowledge; if I have all faith so as to move mountains but do not have love, I am nothing.

If I give away everything I own, and if I hand my body over so that I may boast but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, (love) is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth.

It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never fails. If there are prophecies, they will be brought to nothing; if tongues, they will cease; if knowledge, it will be brought to nothing.

For we know partially and we prophesy partially, but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away.

When I was a child, I used to talk as a child, think as a child, reason as a child; when I became a man, I put aside childish things.

At present we see indistinctly, as in a mirror, but then face to face. At present I know partially; then I shall know fully, as I am fully known.

So faith, hope, love remain, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

With Love to all at CR4 from NiCrMoNoMore.

Sorry to here about your co-worker my condolences to you, his other friends and his family. When I was 18 one of my best friends took his life and you never quite get over it. I never can figure what goes through someone's head that makes them resort to this. To me life is everything and if I wake up living every morning I consider it a privilege and I try to live the day as full as I can. What I am saying I guess is that even if life was really bad for me I could never give it up. I agree with you 110% about treating others well and considering their thoughts and ideas no matter how silly they may seem. It is plain to me one really does reap what he sows in this world.

pipewelder

Many good posts on this discussion. Let me add my condolences to you, Ferris, on the loss of your co-worker and (I hope) friend.

My wife works in a hospice. The stories of her clients (she works with the surviving family members after the loss of their loved one) have run the range from heart breaking to uplifting and inspiring. The one thing I have gotten out of that is this: we are all in this together and we are all we have. Some might say that there is a higher power, or God or whatever, but that being or force speaks most powerfully through each of us. Our actions and our words are our expression of that belief. How they are received are influenced by the receiver's beliefs.

So, let's all follow Ferris' most wonderful advice and BE EXCELLENT TO EACH OTHER because we are all going to face losses like this. Let's not create them or make them worse.

I worked hospice as a practicum and I agree with what you said. It was a difficult job, but it was also an amazing experience.

I consider this thread "on topic" since some postings here are rude. Even if we do disagree, we don't have to be disagreeable. I do enjoy the posts that poke fun, even at me. In general CR4 is a good place for discussion. Head and shoulders above other places.

I'm sorry for your loss. These kind of things do make us think about the more important matters.

Dear Richard,

Those left behind are left to wonder if they could have done something to prevent it. Probably not but you still worry. We can tell Brett was your friend and a good one as well. You hang in there, the fact that you share this with us means you are a good person also.

If Brett left family or dependents, especially kids, just be there for them. They will have the same difficulty with it as you have. You need to stick together in times like this. If you don't know them too well, just call by and tell them who you are and if they need your help for anything....you know what I mean.

You take care and if you need to share more you know where we are. Private messages will always be answered too.

Thanks Ferris, for the courage to bring this to us. Please add my condolences to Brett's family.

I have personally known four people who have committed suicide; two of them extended family members and two co-workers. Their seems to be no answer to the question "WHY". We go to work, we kid, we joke; we say some mean things we wish we could take back, but never do. Mostly, we pass up an opportunity to say thanks to a co-worker or I love you to your family members, until the opportunity is gone forever.

I am not a Psychologist, but a Psychologist once told me, When the pain of living exceeds the fear of dying, suicide is imminent. We don't know what the people we see every day are carrying around in their hearts and souls; what hurts are too strong to bear.

Thanks, again, Ferris and thanks to the exellent people here in CR4.

Hank

Ferris, my condolences also, and to Brett's family as well. Everyone has already said what I would, except this: I know a lot more than I understand about the situation. Hang in there!

Sorry to hear of the loss of your coworker.

You post should give us all pause for thought about our lives, relationships and the fagility of life. Thanks.

Excellent Dude! Life is too short to be harsh. Live each day as though it's your last. If you are still here tomorrow, someone close might not be.

Hey All, Thanks for all of the kind remarks! They are much appreciated! If only I could find a way to pass them on to his family (I will look into this tomorrow in the a.m.). I do not know for sure all of the problems that caused Brett to do what it is that he did, there are a few that come to mind though: he was being "raked across the coals" with a divorce that left him paying more alimony/child support than he kept for himself to live off of. The job that we were working on, for reasons beyond our control (we are building a power plant), and he was CONSTANTLY stressing that he was going to get his check. Third and I guess most importantly, in the depression dept, he had told a couple of people that he was tired of going home alone. Now, he had a girlfriend, he also had 2 sons, 9 and 16 and also was a little league baseball coach/manager for an 11 yr old team and a 12 yr old team. So you think that maybe he would not feel left out...but he did, sadly. So, last week (on the night of one of his kids' birthday...this is one thing that I DO NOT GET) he pulled the plug, in a car outside of his girlfriends place of business. Obviously he was not thinking in his right mind.

I think that yes, Be Excellent To Each Other, is a good thing to try to remember.

Thank You all again my CR4 brothers you rock!

Cheers,

FERRIS

Hi Ferris, Good that you have given us background about circumstances which lead Late Mr.Bret to such a drastic action. It is always better to share our sorrows so that no one has to carry burden of sorrow alone. Time can only cure pain of loosing near one. I hope now you must be feeling lightened and enlightened.After all we all are human beings and belong to one family.

"Only the Good Die Young"

"There's a Time to Live, and a Time to Die

When I't time to Meet the Maker"

- Ecclesiasticus & Iron Maiden

Because I believe, as most do, that life continues on, I say to your friend and all suicide committers: You who take your own life have a right to do so; life is the ultimate property and we can dispose of it at will.

But you should realize that you have committed a violent act on the very people who had affection for your company and loved you. Your mother, brother, wife, sister and friends all suffer from this incredibly inconsiderate action. How dare you?

You should have taken into account the heartbreak that is left behind. You should have realized that your suicide leaves sorrow and regret among those who love you. It is a very selfish act that indicates complete disregard for family and friends. Hopefully that was not your purpose in taking the "easy" way out.

For you may as well have scratched out their eyes and induced them to weep while playing every conversation they ever had with you, over and over in their minds to discover their mistake, their offense, their blame - even when they are innocent. That is why suicide is sinful and evil – it is cruelty.

This man who writes to us today in sorrow, for example, may have said something in jest that may have upset you. But is this a proper way punish him? I say now, you are not a victim but the guilty one. Are you satisfied?

And if there is final justification, I hope the Creator has forgiven you.

There should be no place here for words like these.

If you ever come to understand the hardship of really depressed people, like when you live with them and you try your utmost to help them and then some more but to no avail, I hope you will remember your incredibly intolerant and hurtful words which have no point at all.

What do you try to achieve here other than to upset people?

I, and I am sure others here at CR4, hope that you will never get in this situation as you might find no compassion either. One thing I will never understand about suicide is what you might think when you are going to do it but that is no reason to condemn.

I am sorry but I cannot agree with a single word you posted here. What they feel must always be worse than those of who stay behind for they killed them-self. Suicide is NOT easy as many may make you believe.

Case 491 I agree with you.

As do I, but I also concur with the 1st paragraph of the post in question.

It is my life. I cannot concieve of disposing of it so casually, but I also do not suffer the pain or depression that might lead others to do so. If ever I do, I wish to be given the respect of all to make that decision for myself, not be mourned or condemned for doing so, but respected for taking a stand. I am not courageous for continuing to live, I will not be cowardly when I die, and if that is by my own hand, that act will also be neither courageous nor cowardly - just mine.

Yes you are right, the first point of view about your right to take what is yours is completely correct. I was only referring to the condemnation of suicide due to selfishness or "taking the cowards way out".

I fail to see what this post wants, this thread starts of with "Dude, be excellent to each other". Going to make an argument for arguments sake just pisses right up the wrong tree with me here.

Sorry, you guys were on my side. Lets move on.....