"Lock-Happy" 2006 Honda Civic Hybrid

Kind folk,

My Honda Civic locks its doors at every opportunity and this "convenience feature" is driving me stark raving mad.

When I unlock all doors (two presses on the remote), they:

a) all re-lock if I don't open any of the passenger doors within 15 seconds.

b) the passenger doors re-lock if I open only the driver's door.

If I do not lock the doors when I return from a drive, the doors lock automatically at some point (at least an hour later. I haven't been around yet when it actually happened).

The doors all lock when I put the car in gear.

I must press the interior unlock button twice to unlock the passenger doors. Pressing the unlock button once unlocks the driver's door only.

Because the locks are a 'safety feature' (to protect us from ourselves, no doubt), Honda will not tell me how to defeat the locking system because of liability risks here in litigation-happy America.

If the locking system cannot be defeated, will someone please give me the name and location of the idiot who thought this system was a good idea. I want to show him/her the backside of my tool shed.