Flame Malware Makers Send 'Suicide' Code

Very interesting... ok, fairly...
Well interesting anyway... definitely more interesting than plumbing in my condensate drain.
Del _{(weary & tired. Any sypathy gratefully received)}

There, there. You have my sympathy. Give yourself a reward when you finish.

Here's what I do. I figure how much money I saved, then I buy a treat with some of the money.

Getting my grass cut would cost a fortune if I paid to have it done. So far, the wife hasn't caught on. So far.

You just need a good helper....

A mechanical engineer, an electrical engineer and a civil engineer were arguing over what type of engineer god was. The ME pointed to the body's intricate skeletal/muscular system and proudly stated that god must have been an ME. The EE said that was OK but he felt that the brain and nervous system were of such incredible design and complexity that god had to be an EE. The ME and the EE both looked at the Civil engineer who was smiling at their discussion. "I suppose you think god was a civil engineer" they said. "Of course" replied the CE. "Who else would run a sewer system through a major recreational area"?

Three lawyers and three engineers are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three lawyers each buy tickets and watch as the three engineers buy only a single ticket.
"How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asked one of the three lawyers.
"Watch and you'll see," answers one of the engineers.
They all board the train. The lawyers take their respective seats but all three engineers cram into a restroom and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train as departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets.
He knocks on the restroom door and says, "Ticket, please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.
The lawyers saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the lawyers decide to copy the engineers on the return trip and save some money. When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the engineers don't buy a ticket at all.
"How are you going to travel without a ticket," asks one perplexed lawyer.
"Watch and you'll see," says one of the engineers.
When they board the train the three lawyers cram into a restroom and the three engineers cram into another one nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterward, one of the engineers leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the lawyers are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket, please."

A man flying in a hot air balloon realised he was lost. He reduced height and spotted a man on the ground, descended further to shouting range. "Excuse me," he called, "Can you help me? I promised my friend I would meet him half an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."
The man answered: "You are in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above the ground, between 40 and 42 degrees north, and about one degree west.
"You must be a engineer," responded the balloonist.
"I am, how did you know?" answered the man.
"Everything you have told me is technically correct, but I am still as lost as before.
"You must be a manager" responded the man.
"Yes, but how did you know?
"Well," said the man, "you have no idea where you are, or where you are going. You made a promise that you cannot keep, and you expect me to solve the problem. In fact you are in the same position as when I met you, but now somehow it is all my fault!"

A mathematician and an engineer are poring over a sheet full of equations when suddenly the CEO - a stunningly beautiful woman - opens the door and walks toward them, but in an unusual way: with the first step she covers half the distance between herself and the two men; with the next, half that distance and so on, each step covering half the distance of the one prior.

"She'll never get here!" exclaimed the mathematician.

"She'll get close enough."

The good old days that viruses were made by computer science students only, are long gone. And the days that vulnerability of computers, was a result of innocent programming bugs went with it. An unbiased observer knows that invulnerability to attacks on computer systems, even by the very ones that programmed the system, is possible, but for some reason, unwanted. S.M.

IMHO:

The war on computer viruses is like the war on drugs:

Neither side really wants to win;there is too much money on both sides of the table.

Consider all of the law enforcement personnel that would be out of a job;all of the seized money,and drugs that justify their existence.This is merely the cost of doing business to the drug cartels.

Consider all of the anti-virus companies on the trash heap.

It is not unthinkable , to me, at least,to suspect that some viruses are created and turned loose to generate more income for the AV companies.

Sure, the idea is morally reprehensible and socially unacceptable, but look at what happened on Wall Street?

Greed and Power.Two very formidable foes, joined at the hip, that can ruin a city,a country, and the world.

Amen brother...

this just in...

"A source, who wishes to remain (?), from the government's infamous 'DIA' (Diffuse Ignorance Anathema), has disclosed that a new policy for dealing with computer virus threats has been in effect for some time. The men who have, in the past, stared at goats, now use a combination of psychometry and remote viewing to locate the creators and perpetrators of malicious software, and pass that info. along to expert voodooers for exacting justice. The source wouldn't comment on 'collateral damage,' which is suspected in the death of Steve Jobs, and the weird behavior of Bill Gates, but indicated that 'collateral' might be a misapplied in those cases. (Many see Windows as malicious software and iPods and their Pads as evil talismans.)

Critics are now saying there is so little specificity to the plan that it could bring down the whole digital infrastructure of society. They also question the secrecy and feel that at least some members in Congress be kept informed of activities. The unnamed source responded by saying, Congress would impede the ability to act swiftly, as there are too many voodon'ters to complete missions. He didn't go so far as to say they would 'compromise' them, though."

(Disclaimer and apology: No offense or disrespect is meant to Steve Jobs or his legacy. If it seems that way, I apologize. Also, no offense to women, who might also stare at goats. No generalizations concerning governmental workers was intended, though it might have worked out that way.)