Bend Over, We're Here to Help You

I guess I'm glad that I've been getting error code 8024200D for almost a year.

No updates.

They're so F***ing STUPID they don't know what caused it or how to fix it.

Only the federal stupid government can f**k things up worse than this.

Nothing works as well as it could....that's why we have engineers....

They put out destructive junk that their customers have to fix for them.

AND THEY DON'T CARE.

Don't quit your day job.

You've no idea how apropos your comment is: I applied online for a software-development job years ago and, as part of the application process, they asked me to write a poem about a current or former coworker, so I did. As you can see, I am no poet!

His name was Johann and, like the rest of us, he hated M$ Windows with a f**king passion. Every time it bluescreened on him he would erupt like Krakatoa and we could hear him all over the plant, cursing and swearing and beating on his desk. God help Bill Gates had he been there; Johann would have torn him limb from limb and then napalmed the bits (in a manner of speaking).

I took the liberty of pulling Johann's name and inserting yours. I laughed out loud when I saw your thread. It was like Deja Poo all over again.

Oh btw, I didn't get the job. Are we surprised? They were a dyed-in-the-wool Microsoft house and so I didn't really want to work there anyway.

Splarf !!!

You've got to admit, they can write a kick-ass end user license agreement.

Only Microsoft can say "You have no rights, and we have no responsibility" in over 6,700 words. That's some serious bullhsitting!

It's the only thing Microsoft has ever done that impressed me.

Codebloat is Small 'n' Limp's stock-in-trade, so are we surprised their EULA doesn't rival The Illiad in sheer scale? Even an empty Word doc is huge compared to, say, an empty .txt file:

12,288 bytes even before one types a single character. Nearly twice the size of their EULA.

Only a minor discrepancy here, but the EULA for Windows 8.1 was 6,710 words as counted by LibreOffice Writer. Not sure how many bytes that would be, but certainly enough to put everyone but the most seasoned legalese BS artists into a boredom induced coma. For anyone wishing to read it, I would suggest hooking up an IV with a solution of epinephrine, or at least have an EpiPen nearby.

Also, I like your poem.

Long live Linux.... oh how I wish my employer would switch to it.

Gotta love this thread, as the mild mannered Kramarat calmly replies while the outraged radical Lyn tears off on a wild rant about the dastardly deeds of big businesses- wait, this is a negative, right???

Microsoft's latest response

The Titanic sank in ice water, right?

Oh you poor fish, the blue screen of death is always a hardware issue.