ETAP or SKM or Other EE Software

We use SKM, and have for more than 20 years. It has worked well for us.

However, I think you misunderstand how it works. It does not measure real-time quantities and develop settings for protective devices on its own. You have to input the system and device parameters, and it can show you how the device characteristics (e.g., protective relay setting curves or breaker/fuse trip curves) coordinate, so you can try to coordinate the settings, which you then input to your protective devices (or replace equipment because it is not capable of what you need to do).

But you also have to understand how to perform the coordination and stay within standard requirements (NEC, IEEE/ANSI, BS, IEC, etc.). Your "nuisance trips" may really be that your electrical system is being driven out of its limitations or design parameters, and by "tweaking" the protective settings to eliminate them you could open yourself up to a catastrophic failure. If you are going to get and use the software, be sure you get proper training to understand its correct use!