Surface Measurements in Chips Compromised

Now I know why there are so many glitches in my computer. My personal computer components have MOUNTAINS of 'roughness' on my chips. I guess we've been looking in the wrong place to find out why our computers are so slow.
The NIST has reported, "some manufacturers might be surprised to learn that a fast and increasingly popular method for measuring surface texture can yield misleading results." The article continues "...white light interferometric microscopes, introduced in the early 1990s, differed by as much as 80 percent from those obtained with two other surface-profiling methods."

I want my money back.