Black Holes, Worm Holes, and Lost Screws

Ah, my friend, you need to go to the drugstore and buy some anti black hole glasses. Depending on the magnitude of the gravitational field, you will buy +1, +1.5, +2, or +2.5 ABH glasses. From information given, I suggest you start with at least a +2. These should allow you to see and retrieve small parts from the gravitational clutches of your black holes. Good Luck!

Thanks for the suggestion, but no. In the end, one must get down on their hands and knees and pray

what about installing super magnets at the base of every machine? Depending on strength of magnet, they may counter act gravitational pull.

I usually keep one of these in my tool box. Unfortunately, when ever I need it, it has gone missing. Into the black hole?

I experienced a similar black hole pestilence lurking below the engineroom deckplates when I was in the Navy.

That bastard regularly sucked small necessary items from a distracted hand; down into bilge below. And the foul bilge was the required place of penance and prayer prostration.

The black hole of the bilge made me its bitch it seemed like every watch or maintenance evolution it had me groveling.

This went on until a sage senior chief took pity on and me. Like a Thich Naht Hanh, of the sea, he taught me the tangible benefits of nonattachment.

It was magic.

All I had to do was let go of the of 'not dropping' or 'not losing', and simply be mindful of what was happening.....

....so when I felt something slipping, instead of fighting the inevitable, he had me practice just watching it fall without concern (which can look strange to an observer not in the know).

I know some of the magic was that it didn't get thrown further by my attempt to save it....and a lot was mindfully watching where ot fell.

I know it could be attributed to confirmation bias, or plecibo effect, but the results were astonishing. Things fell less often and when the fell they stayed on the deck plates in plain sight. I even stopped having to hunt for things i had put down.

Perhaps this could work for you on land as well?

I have a similar phenomenon with small ball bearing parts. If one of these is dropped while over a hard floor, a small click is heard and then it just disappears. While if over a soft floor, they just disappear with no sound at all. Sometimes they reappear, but usually long after being replaced (with a cost).

Have you ever knelled down on the floor, looking for something else, and had one suddenly reemerge under you kneecap.

One can only prepare for the inevitable...

That explains a bit. Every time I pull something apart I have screws and nuts and bolts and other miscellaneous parts appear from nowhere. I then spend large amounts of time trying to figure out where they belong. Sometimes they are sizes that do not belong anywhere. I suspect atleast one of your wormholes is connected to my workshop.

That is the true nature of black holes and worm holes. I'll bet that in all that clutter, your are missing the one item you need to reassemble your project. It is now sitting on my workbench!

There's no getting away from the black holes.

I have to do automotive work and other stuff, in my gravel driveway. I even lay down a tarp or big piece of cardboard. No help.

Reading glasses, knee pads, big magnet, and metal detector. No help.

After a few months, nails and screws usually turn up in a tire.

Where's that damned remote?

OK guys and gals. This is exactly what I was looking for.

I have been a member of this site and followed it for the past five years, but I have said little, unless on topics that I could add something useful from my limited knowledge and experience.

This week , however, I have been on vacation and alone. My wife Roxy [ the lady on my right] has been in Mexico City due to a death in her family, and I have not been able to be with her there. I now have the time and inclination to discuss a few things that I have had on my mind , and perhaps inject a bit of levity into this forum.

But what I really want to know....where does the black hole that eats all the socks in the dryer lead to? Or do worm holes also interconnect space/time so that I'll find them in the washer 6 months later ( and I know they were put in the dryer!!).

Oh- that explains what those rags are that keep turning up on the workbench.

That is not a black hole. It is the troll that lives in your dryer that eats socks. Just one, never a pair. As long as you keep him well fed you should get most of your socks returned in time.

call information. the last time I did the nice lady told me it was behind the couch. sure enough, there was my missing sock.

'...where does the black hole that eats all the socks in the dryer lead to?....'

.

The 'Hose-zone' layer.

(and yes there is a hole in it, at least one, just like every one of your socks)

.

GA!

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Blackrock-Machine-Magna-Gloves-Magnetic/dp/B005682G26

I don't really understand this design, but it could work if you skillfully backhand the item that has slipped your grasp, while uttering a loud 'prayer'. A scaled-up version of this might be even better...

Just don't lose them in the dryer!

I think the presence of a step ladder also tends to amplify the power of a blackhole because 9 times out of 10, the small screws or clips that are vital to mounting a light fixture normally tend to get pulled from my grasp and straight into the heart of the blackhole, never to bee seen again, while I'm on a step ladder! Adding to this thought, The amplification factor seems to increase three fold when your arms are raised above your head while adopting the pointed spire gesture! Could this be just coincidence, or could it be the alignment of the double inverted 'V'! Often, I too have prayed to the Blackhole only to be rewarded by having said screw or clip embed in ones kneecap! But most often, the attracted article will never reappear!

What you are attributing to black holes may be an infestation of screw elves.These pesky creatures are a distant cousin of the sock tolls mentioned earlier, but are much more malicious. Or is it just that a misaligned sock can do less damage than an errant screw?

I had a serious infestation in my workshop. To contain rather than to cure the problem, I cleared out the shop completely and then refitted all the benches, cupboards, the pillar drill and the lathe, making sure that those item that were not flush to the floor had a completely clear space underneath. I then constructed a shaman stick from a brush type door draft excluder nailed to a shortened broom handle. Now when the little beasts grab a screw or cir-clip I just waft the shaman stick across the floor (brush side down) and this frightens the elves into dropping the item and scampering away. Of course this will not help much if your problem is back holes and not screw elves. Does anybody have a solution for sock trolls as I my laundry room has an infestation of those critters?

Hi Folks,Having spent many Years suffering from the effects of Black Holes,Sock Elves and Screw Pixies i came to the realization that it's all a Theological Concept.I found after many years of dealing with the likes of "Pingf**kitz" or Motorcycle Switchgear (abound with Tiny Screws,Springs and Ball Bearings)That a Prayer to the God of Zen Murphyism is the Answer.The study of the Law of Murphyism or the Law of "Sod" to non Believers is Crucial in these matters,or more simply,the more important,rare,crucial a simple part is the Higher the likelyhood of massive Gravitational attraction and hence temporary temporal displacement is likely.I would encourage all to get a brief Course on this Phenomena in all seats of learning.If we can work together we can stamp out these eddies of Gravitational Flux and banish the Spectre forever.Oh and i ended up having a Box emblazoned with the words "A Nice Safe Place"on it for items that were prone to Quantum Evaporation,seemed to work.

You are not alone as my father had similar issues with his tools and the source of the problem was his children who fancied themselves builders similar to their father. As for the dropped items you are experiencing the rebound phenomena associated with black holes. These items hit the floor or the machine on the way down and change direction. I solved some of my issues with a super magnet fastened to a strong piece of metal 1/16 x 1 inch flat bar that I would use to scan the floor for black holes that contained my missing items. Even works under the machinery.

There are special light chains or lanyards available that prevent the tools in particular of reaching the black hole. Attach the chain with a quick release clip to that they may be made functional at greater distances from chosen nesting area. Also dirty dark floors seem to attract black holes so keep them clean and possibly a light colour.

Have a great New Year free of black holes.

I believe that a little know portion of "Murphy's Law" states; "The number and power, of entities such as black holes, sock dwarfs, etc. are exponentially proportional to the age of the person involved in attempting "normal" activities".

Well one way to go is to acquire one of these portable black holes(see pic)( I think Lyndoor sells em), and place it in a large plastic tub...After several months a large collection of miscellaneous parts will accumulate...at some distant point in space time every size and shape should have manifested a presence...fight fire with fire, or vice versa...

Well, there is only one black hole, it's form is tentscular and it opens the tentacles mouths at random. I believe it is a manifestation of an evil god. You will take note that there is always a tithe associated with it's gobblings. One day when it has reached it's capacity, it will dump it all in one place at once. If we all pray to it, we may be able to influence the location of this deposit. May I suggest the floor of the House chamber as a good location?

NB: Comment #17 may have been rihjy, it's a 'back hole' not a 'black hole'.

Boo!

I've had the same problem with electronic parts, they've disappeared from one spot, sometimes reappearing in another room on another work bench sometime later. I've even had books and magazines disappear from where I was reading them. Just this morning a missing QST magazine reappeared from somewhere that had been missing for nearly two weeks and it just happened to pop up on top of the other QST magazine I have been reading. An entire set of QST magazines went missing months ago and has not turned up yet, no one has seen them.....disappeared into a worm hole? If someone has found about 12 issues of QST from the 1940s that they cannot account for, they might be my missing pile and you are on the receiving end of the worm hole.

Unfortunately, things that have disappeared don't always come back and despite intense searches, they are nowhere to be found, some missing for a long time. Maybe, according to the laws of statistics, these missing items have randomly appeared somewhere else, in someone else's place, causing wonderment as to how this unknown item has mysteriously appeared that they have never seen before.

I have some ICs that I found awhile back which has puzzled me as to where they came from, I did not purchase them and yet, there they are (Chinese knockoffs of a Linear Technology part), perhaps someone in China is wondering where their parts went.

I wonder if Steven Hawking has any ideas on this subject?

Worm hole deposit found!

I've noticed over the years that jig-saw puzzle pieces are subject to this black hole phenomenon.

A custom puzzle, a map, that I received this past Christmas clearly was on the wormhole receiver end, because it has the correct number of pieces, but three of the pieces don't belong to the puzzle.

When I encounter a jigsaw puzzle problem such as you describe (and I have many times), I call in the experts (my wife in my case). She can always spot where the pieces will fit. I find these "experts" (or consultant if you wish) have excellent skills with crossword puzzles too.

I have experienced this all too often. My recovery attempts have been sucsessful to a percentage of nearly 50%. I have thought about this over several years and have a theory. :

Upon entering the black hole there is a shift in the objects structure and material, so when the object does finally return (if ever) it has changed in both location and structure. Examples would be the wood screw missing from your antique table you are refinishing, returns as that extra 3/8" bolt that was found under your car when you were changing the starter. Although this may not happen everywhere, I think that closet floors are the typical place for things to materialize after doing their time in the black hole.

That bit about going to the tool crib and getting another, absolutely does not apply when I am at home working on my car.

1. The little part that was dropped and swallowed up is something that I would never have a replacement for around my house or garage
2. My car will not run without that part.
3. My wife took the other car to go shopping
4. The nearest auto parts store is 4 miles away, and it is raining.

Again, Its down on my hands and knees and prey!

I'm in the middle of building a bookcase, and I use a rubber mallet to tap dovetails into place, so far in this one unit, I've used three mallets, sequentially, because they kept disappearing! So far only two have turned up - in locations I had already looked at.

My house is riddled with that particular wormhole variant. You know where you put your keys because that is where you always put your keys. But, when you go to get your keys, they ain't there. You search the house 2, 3, 4 times, each time starting where you know you always put your keys. Eventually, you find them where you always put them. So, is this a wormhole that has an entrance near its exit, or does it regurgitate from the same opening? Don't have time to investigate because I spent all my time looking for my keys.

At least, with your wormholes, you have some opportunity of recovering your lost item. In my garage things just evaporate. They hit the floor and poof! Never to be seen again.