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Understanding Engineers

06/08/2013 10:37 AM

Understanding Engineers #1


Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice: The clothes probably wouldn't fit you anyway."



Understanding Engineers #2


To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.



Understanding Engineers #3


A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!" The priest said, "Here comes the greens-keeper. Let's have a word with him." He said, "Hello George, What's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?" The greens-keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime!." The group fell silent for a moment. The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight." The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything she can do for them." The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"



Understanding Engineers #4


What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers? Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets.



Understanding Engineers #5


The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"



Understanding Engineers #6


Three engineering students were gathered together discussing who must have designed the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints." Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections." The last one said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"



Understanding Engineers #7


Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.



Understanding Engineers #8


An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn back into a beautiful princess and stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want." Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog - now that's cool."

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#1

Re: Understanding Engineers

06/08/2013 12:23 PM

I "borrowed" one of these. Hope you don't mind.

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#4
In reply to #1

Re: Understanding Engineers

06/08/2013 8:43 PM

Yes, me too!

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#2

Re: Understanding Engineers

06/08/2013 12:39 PM

I think that's one of your best posts

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#3

Re: Understanding Engineers

06/08/2013 1:12 PM


Old engineers home....

The check is in the mail....

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#7
In reply to #3

Re: Understanding Engineers

06/10/2013 3:30 AM

I am sorry I did not think of that one. Could have used it a few times for a couple of companies over the years.

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#5

Re: Understanding Engineers

06/09/2013 5:06 AM

Good one!!

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#6

Re: Understanding Engineers

06/09/2013 5:06 PM

Understanding Engineers #9

What's the definition of a chemical engineer?

Someone who knows enough chemistry to get into trouble, but not enough engineering to get out of it.

P.S. I'm the only nonengineer in our research group

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#9
In reply to #6

Re: Understanding Engineers

06/10/2013 10:04 AM
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#8

Re: Understanding Engineers

06/10/2013 3:38 AM
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#10

Re: Understanding Engineers

06/10/2013 11:03 AM

Thanks for the jocularity this a.m.

There is a lot of truth in these scenarios and it is because people are wired differently, i.e. personalities, that impact how they relate to or view things. Understanding personality types is a critical skill in working well with people.

There are 4 basic personalities that can be illustrated in the following way:

Choleric - task oriented, outgoing = ready, fire, aim. Lots of bosses, coaches, athletes are here.

Melancholy - taskoriented, reserved = ready, aim, aim, aim, aim, aim ... fire (maybe). Lots of architects, engineers, accountants, sciences people are here.

Phlegmatic - people oriented, reserved = this isn't going to bother anyone is it because it's goingto make a lot of noise?" Lots of teachers, social workers, etc. are here.

Sanguine - people oriented, outgoing = "this is going to great, it's going to make so much noise and it's going to blow up like crazy. Lots of musicians, actors, performers, etc. are here.

* If we understand where people are coming from we can better relate to and work with them.

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#11

Re: Understanding Engineers

06/10/2013 12:17 PM

no sexual/racial/political/ageist/religous etc take down humour..Build up humour is rare...Thanks for sharing.

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#12

Re: Understanding Engineers

06/10/2013 8:21 PM

This is great - I shared it with some friends who either are engineers or know some and they all loved it. Thanks for sharing!

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#14
In reply to #12

Re: Understanding Engineers

06/13/2013 4:37 PM

Same here, those are great! Humor is the absolute best medicine...thanks for that huge dosage!

(I may borrow one as well...)

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#13

Re: Understanding Engineers

06/11/2013 2:25 PM

Here is a short Dilbert video, hopefully on topic....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CmYDgncMhXw

(and, I hope the link works!)

If not, just search "dilbert knack"

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