Can a Friendship Survive On-the-Job?

Good question.
I had a friend working under me, (hmm maybe I should re-phrase that) I effectively recruited him)...never again, big mistake in my view.
Maybe it's just me though, I'm prob not a good manager, I'm a good motivator, but not so good on the discipling and beurocracy.
I think I earned loyalty and respect from almost everyone, but oddly enough I'm not sure if I got if from the friend.
I like to work on my own best...at least I know who to blame when it screws up.
Del

Hi Del,

Yes, you made a mistake! Never hire or put friends and family members in your business. They know you better than you know yourself. They understand what you can do and what's too much for you. They will never tell you that you are good. At contrary, they will push you down, tell everyone that you will fail in any endeavour. Simply, they tell that you are unable to do what you want.

For any business, hire people that are not in the same profession or work. Initial ignorance can be corrected, directed where you want, and you are not criticized when you or someone on your team fails. With strangers motivation is automatic and easy. Workplace climate is positive with unknown people. Choose the best way!

With friends and relatives there is no discipline and you have to do more than others, and forget to get some respect. You are the "blame"!

Work with people you don't know and they don't know you. Wish you courage to act for you, Gil.

I have a good friend working for me in the design office now. I recruited him because I knew he was looking for a change & had the skills we needed. I also know that we needed to recruit more people for the group I'm involved with outside work staging firework displays.

We had worked in the same office some years before & had done firework displays together. As it happens, I'm in charge of the design office & he is now boss of the firework group and it's all been working well for 4 or 5 years. We are still good friends & work well together.

I hired people who were good at the work, and then became friends with them. Course I'm long out of High School, where it may work the other way around, and you may well say, "Hey, I found some paying work, and I need you to help me."

I think I wrote an essay about this titled We Are All in This Alone.

That sums it up nicely.
Del

Definitely not, no matter if they come crying to you, that the company's they've worked for always takes advantage of them...........you hire them, they take advantage of you. Keep friends out of the picture. If thats too hard to do. Just question how those company's take advantage of them, and pin them down with an answer, and not the "They just do" reply. Remember the ball is in your court before you hire them. And if they can't give you a good reason, be honest with them, and tell them why.

They will realize that you, if not run a tight ship, and least a smart one, and that you will not be taken advantage of. Because its just business. (and not a welfare program)

GA pheonix911. I once read a book on the rules or art of war (not Sun Tzu book) but I cannot remember the actual title. Greatest business book to read. It tells you that in battle if a serpent raises its head chop it off quickly. The scenario was a battle where there was some dissent from the ranks and the general tried to broker good will. In the end his next battle failed because of the failure to seize control of the ranks by the general. It was to be his last attempt to broker good will and instead he summarily killed the dissenters to show who was in charge.

No don't try to be friends to everyone who works for you. People are quick to take advantage of little things and these advantages can be magnified later. If you are hiring personal friends either for skills or out of welfare treat them as you would a stranger. Partnerships with friends can be particularly problematic. Money is a very emotional personal subject. Nip any problem in the bud and do not let it fester no matter who gets there nose out of joint.

Nip any problem in the bud and do not let it fester no matter who gets there nose out of joint.

when I managed an engineering dept. one of my designers could not stand one of the fabricators and vice-versa. before a black cloud of discontent, started which is difficult to clear, I brought them both into the conference room and told them anything goes except swings, one comment at a time.

They were quiet at first because they were used to the little needle and remarks and run. But once I got them started.

After an hour....they still did not care for each other but at least they could work to gether, and never had a problem since. And they also realized it was no more than petty bickering.

never considered becoming friends with any of the people I managed, but I nevered ignored them either. most as they went their separate ways told me as they parted, they considered me a friend.........but I think they were confusedm because I felt like a father scolded them at times.

But yes, try to remove yourself from personal feelings and reconize the real issues at the beginning, Its not cold, its your livelyhood.

As a previous owner manager of a small business, I can appreciate what others may think was a small accomplishment. Kudos for nipping that issue. I had a great turnover of employees over many years but gradually in the end I had secure trustworthy people. When I was forced to retire for medical reasons these same employees stepped up and bought the business, albeit by vendor (me) take back. Its now ~4 years and they still take me out to lunch and will ask good questions when they need technical help. I warned them about employee hiring and to get rid of the rotten apples sooner than later. They seem to be on their way to making their fortunes. I wish them luck as I do anyone with the perseverance and wherewithal to make it work.

We may have walked similar paths in life.

I secretary I had, was made because the employees did care for her......(she was an a@@, and actually jealous mentioned that those same people were my friends only because I owned the company..

I corrected her, and told her, do not confuse friendship with respect, I did not start this business to buy friends.

She said I was a liar, I told her, I have this job coming up, it was dirty, uncomfortable, low profile. I hated to assign it to anybody but I will. I told her instead I'm putting up a sign-up sheet and I'll have more than enough people to do it by the end of the day. She laughed, I did and I had enough people before noon. And they signed up, not because they are my friends, they're good employees, because they know it has to be done.

I personally separate myself with them, but I treat them with respect. (unlike her)

I fired her soon after.

Personnel/employee relationship in business, Respect is more powerful than friendship..........though friendship (different kind) does come after, and it is solid.

p911

Hi Phoenix,

This is an excellent way to manage a business. I like what you said: "I corrected her" because was your duty tell what and how to do. "told her" again was your duty to correct or direct. "do not confuse friendship with respect", yes, respect is the most important without friendship. "I did not start this business to buy friends", again you are absolutely right. We have a goal or vision about a business without friendship. What is the input of friendship in a business? Nothing, except money!?

One of my boss, when he wanted to hire me, told me that he talked about his friend to start to work under me. I told him that I never work with people I cannot choose. I left my eventual boss to make my lettre of resignation. He accepted my lettre but maintained that his friend is the best choice to work with me.

In business, I have friends as partners and workers. I profoundly regret my actions!

In the future, no one should hire someone he/she knows, and hire people from any other profession and teach them your way to work, Gil.

You can have either friend or employee.Never both together.

Just like in government where you need the separation of church & state

In our lives the separation of work & home/fun/friends/relatives

this is not to say you can't be friendly at work

should you choose to cross in to that territory, the work expectations & consequences for non compliance needs to be clear

all of which is much easier said than done

I really can't understand some of the comments here, maybe I've just been lucky but most of the people in the company I work for are good friends. We go drinking together, we get involved in each others lives & we can rely on each other inside & outside of work. Perhaps it's because this is a small company so we all tend to see each other every day.

Many places do develop a great comraderie in the work place. Military is a good example.

I know people that have fired family members that weren't pulling their weight.

Much of this depends most on the person's work ethic over anything else. If they don't have a good work ethic to begin with then they aren't going to perform for you even if they are your life long buddy from childhood.

People that have been taught a good work ethic will perform wonderfully regardless of your relationship with them.

I really can't understand some of the comments here,

Good for you, some environments are not that way.

When I was an engineering manager, That was no different with us. I look forward to after work cocktails (fridays or birthdays), with the engineering and fabrication. Kept the coherence between the two departments up, and strengthen communications.

When a fabricator sees a engineering mistake on the shop floor and goes to the engineer and proclaims ...."Hey, you phuckt up". That engineer does not take it as a personal insult, but is actually grateful, because he realizes what the language can be on the shop floor. Why because they look after each other.

And we would have at times 20 employees at these events (the bar). And when we left it was only because they were closing diown, not that we are heavy a drinker, but none of us realize the time went so quick. as the night passed, phone calls are made/recieved, and the wives would show up, because they felt they were missing something, and were missing a good social event and were welcome, Though some went home early, and good for them usually having something planned

I enjoyed it, people realized all were equals. And work was just that, work.

I had a young finisher (18 yo) come up to me and said, He thought it was cool, how I did things with them. I looked at him and asked "What do you mean"? He just commented how I would play basketball, or lacroose after work, just do things, as he put it. What normal people do.

I laughed and thanked him for the compliment