Do You Know What I Really Love About Spring (Washers)?

Do you know I really love about spring? Besides baseball. And the weather. And the sundresses.

...via Voices From Russia

It's spring cleaning!

I know, that probably sounds absurd, but I love the chance to get the winter dust out and get some fresh air circulating in my home.

But, do you know what I hate about springtime? Doing spring cleaning. Ugh!

I mean hey, I'm a 20/30/60-something year old bachelor, and I've got bigger fish to fry and better things to do than to spend hours of my time sweeping and dusting and mopping. Do you remember the part where I expressed how fond I am of sundresses?

...via ClipArtOf

So, what's an urban male like me to do? Pay someone to do all this cleaning for me.

So, last Tuesday I jumped on the internet and ordered myself 12 spring washers. They were kinda cheap for what I was expecting. And I was surprised to learn they'd be shipped from Saskatoon. Whatever, I thought.

Well, I should have put my keen (paltry?) analytical skills to work, because I was disappointed when my mailman delivered my spring washers in a package the size of a shoebox.

Do, you know what I found in that package? These.

...via SDP/SI

did a little more research on spring washers, and this is what I found out.

Spring washers, sometimes called disc springs, are a subtype of washers. They lend their mechanical capabilities to the unique profile of the material: when subject to a load, the irregularities of the washer compress with a proportionate resistance to return to their predeflected shape. Spring washers are employed in applications where assemblies need a part to take up play, eliminate rattle, maintain assembly tension, compensate for expansion or contraction in materials after assembly, or to absorb intermittent shock loads and provide a controlled reaction under dynamic loads.

Okay, so they're not going to be doing my windows. How about my floors?

Deflecting under a load, a spring washer is very much like a compression spring. As such, the deflection rate of a wave washer is conditional of the washer's dimensions and materials. Thicker, taller spring washers can sustain more load. When under stress, the raised irregularities of the disc spring flatten to a predetermined degree. Spring washers are either under static or dynamic load. In a static load application, the basic function of the washer is to retain load and the elastic load rating of the washer material may be exceeded. For a dynamic load, the washer functions as a flexing spring and the yield limit must not be exceeded or permanent disfiguration will occur.

Spring washers have a small footprint and are valued in small machines where a coil spring would be unsuitable. Spring washers can also deflect in a linear, progressive, or regressive means and these devices show a symmetrical deflection around the washer's axis. Spring washers can be stacked to create spring sets or series where deflection and load capacity can vary without materially affecting the forces involved.

Hmmm, so no laundry either, huh? How about cleaning the garage? I had the worst water leak in there from one of the pipe connections. It's like I was ice skating in there most of the winter.

Spring washers can be used as a type of lock washer to eliminate rattle or vibration that might unscrew a bolt. These are common in instances where a coil spring would be impractical or too large. Disc springs are common on pipe flanges to combat flange leakage from high temperatures and varying pressure. These small devices are also found in many types of valves and pumps, braking systems, types of couplings, machine presses, aerial cable cars, boiler suspension systems, and overload protection components in electrical transformers. Not until the 1930s did the disc spring become prominent, when formulas to calculate disc springs were developed pre-World War II in the United States. As such, the spring washer was used in anti-tank mines and artillery guns.

...via Jelsoft Ent. Inc.

WHAT!? Yes, these spring washers fixed my pipe leak. As remarkable as it is, I struck gold and made a decent purchase after all.

However, all credit must be paid to GlobalSpec's Spring Washer Selection Guide. If not for their trusty resources, I'd still be stuck with 12 spring washers I had no use for. Now I'm down to only 11. Yay!

Okay, well thanks for reading my terrible story. I probably should start on my real spring cleaning. I've got baseball and sundresses to watch, after all