Cracking Nuts (the hardware!)

I typically try to make these "How to Select…" blog entry posts somewhat fun and/or silly, because let's face it, I'm pretty much here to hock GlobalSpec stuff at you.

Let's be honest though, no one else has GS's extensive catalogue of manufacturers, product data sheets, selection guides, or search functions. It's just-it's unduplicatable. (That's a word, right?)

I like to dress these posts up with silly memes or characters (see: Star Wars & Constant Force Springs; Linear Slides and You: A Tutorial). So for this week's HTS blog, I figured using famous squirrels and chipmunks would be a nice complement to Nuts.

...via BBC

Nuts are the sciuridae family's favorite food, see? And nuts are also the name of the hardware. Get it? GET IT!?

Just as I was photoshopping my third picture of Alvin selecting nylock nuts was nearing completion, the suits from the CR4 legal department came by with some wet blankets.

The identity of this individual has been cloaked to prevent my pants from being sued off. Literally.

Copyright notices. Cease-and-desists. Trademark infringements. Rocky. The Chipmunks. Sandy Cheeks. Yep. All of the classics were off-limits.

How am I supposed to let my CR4 friends know that, "nuts require a rotational force around the bolt threads for application, though some nuts may be push-press or clip-on No matter its application method, nuts hold components through the same mechanical property: the friction of the bolt and nut threads against one another, which is comprised of a slight stretch of the bolt from the compression resistance of the components being fastened, and a slight elastic deformation of the parts held together."

I went back to the drawing board. First, I created a Dr. Frankenstein-esque monster.

...It's ALIVE!! It's ALIVE!

There was no way that thing was going to help me tell CR4ers about how manufacturers produce nuts in both imperial and metric units, and due to their explicit correspondence with bolts and studs, the units cannot be mixed. Furthermore, nuts are produced with fine or coarse threads which are a designation of the nut's thread pitch--not the quality of the product. Coarse-thread nuts are less susceptible to galling, thread crossing, and seizing, while fine-thread nuts are less likely to loosen from jostling, and are more easily tapped and adjusted.

I decided if someone can create Maximilian Acorn, then I can come up with my own design.

And while I wouldn't say it's bad, I don't think my rendition of "Squirrel Scared by CR4 User" is the look that I'm going for. At least not to describe how fasteners sold in the North American marketplace that meet AMSE standards will be assigned an 18-digit PIN that will identify each unique piece of hardware. This is meant as a substitute for the traditional plain-text description of the hardware, which can be cumbersome. Most metric fasteners conform to Deutsches Institut für Normung (DIN) standards. This is closely related to ISO production standards for metric nuts. Most hardware measured in imperial units is subject to Society of Automotive Engineers (SAE) edict. A manufacturer is not required to follow either guideline, but the hardware may be of less quality if they elect to dismiss these standards.

No matter what I did, I had to tell the head honchoes at CR4 that I was through. I could no longer fall back on my creativity to create blog posts. I'd have to rely on my looks from here on out to produce compelling, but hardly-read, weekly digests. It was like Rocky the Flying Squirrel had his aviation hat taken away. Ho-hum.

While I try to reinvent the wheel, I invite you to visit GlobalSpec's How to Select Nuts tutorial. It will provide you--at least in the meantime--with everything you need to know about how to select nut hardware.

Pardon me, I need to call a few costume shops.

...via Gifts at Pages