"Have You Ever Driven a Car That Scared You?"

YES!

That would be my father's 1990s Lincoln Town Car.

Both the brakes and the steering are completely non-deterministic controls whose inputs are best considered as requests for action that are solidly grounded in the realms of quasi-statistical laws of quantum physics.

I've not driven a car that scared me but I was the passenger, riding shotgun. My good friend had just replaced the engine and transmission of his wife's Pinto with what use to be the engine and transmission of my dad's Torino, a 302 V8. On the way back from the sedate drive out my friend wanted to see what it could do on the highway. The phrase "raped ape" and more profane terms were used more than once. When we got back to my place I noticed that the front bumper was not parallel to the ground. The engine torque had twisted the frame of a car designed for a little engine.

Corvair on wet roads, passenger only.

I second that. Slid off of a turn on a freeway entrance in Seattle (raining), kept turning right and going straight. And yes the front tire pressure was correct.

Sounds like a bit of lift-throttle oversteer?

It's the second skid that gets you.

Yea, the Corvair was my training wheels for my Porshe 911.

Alas, they have dialed that out of all the new ones now...

No, but I drove one that scared the cr4P out of a salesman one time. It was an old Mustang II that a boyfriend of my daughter had. It missed on 3 of the four cylinders, and the fourth cylinder was kind of spastic - and the brakes were almost non-existent.

He went to trade it in on a small used pickup, and after the salesman took it for a test drive, he offered the kid $150 off the price of the pickup to NOT trade it in.

In the late 70s I had a summer job working for a guy who owned greenhouses. I had to haul a load of scrap iron to the junk yard using an old van he kept around. The iron was an ancient boiler used for keeping the greenhouses warm in the winter.

The van was overloaded, no question. On the freeway I accelerated up to 45 and then the whole front end began to shake and shimmy like a 7 on the richter scale. There were semi-trucks all around me so I could not just hit the brakes, I had to hold on to the steering wheel with all my might as the van slowed down enough to stop shaking. Thank god I only had to go 2 exits. I thought the whole van was going to disintegrate around me and I'd be crushed like pulp under the trucks.

1960 Renault Dauphine, the first car I ever bought. An identical model a high school buddy owned rolled and killed his sister and her girlfriend on a rain slick curve on a country road.

Yes, Had a 1969 Mach 1, 351 Cleveland motor with Windsor heads, dbl 4 brl Hly carb. Air induction before I knew what most of this meant, I was a kid racing snowmobiles in 1969. I bought this Mustang Mach 1 for 3400.00 in 1969 as is.

Let me say, thank God I was a kid that had been driving since 6 years of age.

I had years of driving a car since I was knee high to a grasshopper and knew more of controlling a car on a dirt road. This new stang, was awesome, my biggest issue was the PS, racing , you had to eliminate the PS, past 130 it was uncontorable,

Knocking the PS belt off, I beat all. It was hands down Stang 1, all else 0.

If I would have had a clue, any clue at all, that this car would have been worth anything. Oh my, I would not have put 300,000 miles on it in all weather conditions. Unfortunatley, the car was totaled. Not by me, by the girl that tried to rebuild it, she did what she could, the frame could not support her HP and the car split when she was on burn out.

At least she walked away. Still, If I would have any idea a stang would have had a tag like that. I would have garaged it. Who knew. Same with the Road Runner and Super Bee. Who Knew. I drove them as well when they where family cars.

Who knew they would be race cars?

Does time change too quickly er what?

Hey, you seen the 3 second 1/4 mile run yet? Crazy, right? Not yet, gonne be a under 3 sec 1/4 run soon!!!

Hardly anyplace running 1/4 mile any more mostly 1000 ft so a 3sec time may appear but I truly dont think it will be a 1/4 mile for quite sometime.

A Landrover Series 2 bought to satisfy a long term whim to have a Landrover. It wandered aimlessly along the road and I sold it very quickly for a huge loss. Then a few years later driving my bosses pride & joy, a Landrover Defender - the handling was exactly the same. They may be great off road but I would like them to stay on the road until I want go off it!

I have been addicted to speed from 1962. I spent more nights racing cars on NYC streets than any human should. Two cars scarred me. The first was a 61 or 62 Comet than had had the front end cut out with a torch, and replaced with an Econoline straight axle. Why cut out the front end? Why to make room for the 427 Medium riser motor and top loader. The rear end was from an LTD wagon, also welded in. The way the steering column ended up, was with just an inch of room between the seat, and steering wheel. Try pushing down the pedal of a 3400 lb clutch while keeping your legs bowed apart. This while sitting in a bucket seat that was only partly bolted to the floor. It might have been livable if it was just driven, but 427 Comets are meant to be run hard. And that is when it got very scary.

Number 2 was a 57 ford that had just received a 429 motor and trans out of a T-bird. The car had previously been a gas coup used for drag racing. After the motor transplant the road test was on 5.60x 15 rock hard tires, attached to a 5.38:1 locked rear end. First gear was almost no movement forward, but some slight fishtailing. But when it shifted to second, the fishtailing got serious, and would soon run out of steering travel, and then all hell broke loose. The back end of the car would snap around so fast that it would pivot around the inside front tire till the foot came off the gas. In time, and with much work and parts, it became manageable, and fun to drive.

Yep, my older brother's 70's era Chevy Citation with an EPA strangulated 1-barrel carburetor that was so horribly slow as to be dangerous. Pulling out from an intersection was always a heart -thumping affair as you were never sure whether or not you would get broad-sided as that pig droned off. Ditto for freeway entrance ramps.

My scariest drive was also one of the slowest. I had an Austin 1100, a slightly larger version of a mini. These had hydraulic suspension so, when I did a major engine repair, I had to drop the engine & front sub-frame. This meant letting all of the fluid out of the suspension. After the re-build I had to drive the car to the dealer to get the suspension re-filled. About 10 miles in a car with no suspension, riding on the bump stops & limited steering before the tyres hit the wheel arches. I dared not drive at more than 30mph & became intimately familiar with every little dip or bump in the road.

Yes.A 1967 SS 396/375 HP Chevelle.

In that model, they had a problem with the throttle sticking wide open under acceleration,

and you had to manually pull the pedal back to reduce speed.

A friend loaned me the car,and did not tell me about this particular quirk.

I took off from a stop light,a little quick,but no tires smoking,and the pedal stuck all

the way to the floor.

Immediately, the tires broke traction, my sphincter clamped onto my underwear, and

the seat upholstery,leaving an indelible pucker that was still there when he sold the

car.

As I was reaching down to pull the pedal back,which was not easy under the high G

force of 375 horses gone wild, it released of it's own accord.

1 Block ahead,there was a round about,with a historical building in the center,and it was getting larger by the millisecond.

I was doing about 65 mph when I looked at the dash.

I had to get down hard on the brakes to slow down enough to negotiate the circle.

Whew! Made it.

When I returned the car,my friend said

"Oh yeah! The gas pedal sticks.Hope you didn't have any trouble."

"No problem, I said,not wanting to give him the satisfaction."

He made no comment about my dirty knees where I has kissed the ground when I

finally stopped the car.

Love the car. My first car was that, but with the 350 horse motor.

The gas sticking issue was a common issue with the Chevys in the sixties. The motor mounts would break under hard moderate acceleration. The throttle linkage would get jammed by the engine torque. Kicking the gas was useless. All you needed to do was momentarily turn the ignition off, and then on again. As soon as the engine power was shut, the engine would fall back onto the mounts, and all was good to go again.

I would refer to your experience as a scary ride, not a scary car. Driving with a broken mount was just something one got used to in those days. Like using your left hand to hold up the automatic transmission gearshift lever so you had your right hand free to turn the ignition switch on Fords. (after they moved the key from the left side of the steering column.

A 51 Nash Rambler, as a passenger, watching helplessly as the drivers seat back collapsed while in a intersection with my friend clutching the steering while the car headed for the hospital building. (An omen?).

Coming to a stop in a Triumph with the driver remarking "Hey look. somebody lost a wheel!" watching the wheel continue on down the street, then the car slowly tipping toward the side without the front wheel. Cars with kingpin front ends were all scary.

Finally I have time to post my one really scary ride. It was in a 1968 Chevy II nova SS 427. The car was a Yenco car used as a race car from day one. Found it with a friend that was getting married and decided he was not going to be allowed to continue racing and be married. We all know about that element of life. Any way I had a 355 roller small block that was basically a super stock motor that I had just burning a hole in my ego to put on the street to go after a few of the heavy hitters. After getting it in the car I took it out and found a nice quiet place for some testing. My idea of testing at the time was to see how good it hooked up with the 10" slicks on it. They hooked up real good to the point of wheel standing. Scared the bejesues out of myself. Called my friend and asked him how to launch the car and he said put more throttle in to it to make it spin the tires a little . All that did was make it do a bigger wheel stand, so you guessed it I called him to come show me how it was done. I jumped in the passenger side and he proceeded to show me how it was done. After a few unsuccessful attempts to make it slip the tire he decided to mat the throttle, this time it went for the sky and he got scared, since he could not see where he was going he backed off the throttle. Then back into it hoping to let the front end down enough to drive out of the wheel stand. You guessed it it did not work, all it did was cause the suspension to pull the spring hangers out of the bolts. And then pull the 6" chrome moly drive shaft out of the transmission and since I left the drive shaft loop out when I assembled the car it hit the pavement. Lets say we saw our lives go by in those few seconds before it came to a stop up against a telephone pole. It was really hard to try and explain to the local LEO's what all of the stickers were for on a street car then they spotted the slicks. I hid the car in a friends garage for a few months while trying to get the funds to repair it. And wouldn't you know it, the cop that was at the accident comes in to my family shop and asked my mom how my repair was coming on the car I (CRASHED), lets just say it was not fit to be around mom's kitchen table for a while. I was 19 at the time. Boy I wished I had that Yenco today it would be worth more than my house.

Mine was a homebuilt front engine slingshot dragster, 377 ci small block fuel injected on alcohol, scary part was the 9 inch ford diff was right between my legs, axle tubes under my knees I literally padded the diff cover to protect the boys from contact under braking, this never really concerned me till I saw the aftermath of a high RPM ring gear explosion on another car.

Needless to say I rethought my dragster idea.

I never slowed down I just moved over to land speed. I am trying to finish my 1998 MK IIIV for next year don't know if that is possible just too many things to do and back surgery in Dec, and don't know if they will clear me before the last meet in August. I am running a 4.6 modular with tumble port heads,1mm larger titanium valves comp cams blower cams all 4 of them, Sullivan intake, Mahley pistons Eagle rods, with a steel crank out of a Cobra. Then to top it all off will be a pair of TO4B high flow water cooled turbos that we switched the AR from 1.25 to 2.0 Air Ratio housings. Hoping for around 1400 HP possibly more if the waste gates will hold. Duke

Never had the testicular fortitude to try the salt.

Kinda slippery for my taste.

Your ride sounds like fun though, waste gates??? whats a little engine damage.........oops forgot you gotta back it up!!................never mind me.

Sorry I checked out a little early last night I am not trying out the salt this time . I am going to Ohio to the old DHL airport for the standing start 1 mile run. You get 1 mile to get to speed 1 mile for timing and almost one mile to stop. We have added 14" front rotors and 13" rear rotors plus two sets of laundry (parachutes). After talking to a few of the guys running mustangs that last mile is a little hairy trying to stop at 200 plus mph. Most all of them said the first trips down there they thought they would need a change of underwear before the day was over. There is also the Texas flying mile, as well as an old airport in the northeast that do timed runs on concrete and asphalt. Plus as far as being a good wrench I am not the greatest I just have some of the greatest friends that are great in their own areas such as engines, chassis, suspensions, plus one psychologist friend of the family that makes sure I am just this side of sane. My wife has her doubts and isn't afraid to voice them. Oh and MKII you don't have to spend a million bucks to go have fun. There are a lot of guys and gals running almost stock cars and trucks just for fun by adding aero packages to them might be up your alley with numbers. You never know where it might lead.

Kinda like this week's 'Caption This!' but bigger, with wheels?

Yeah EXACTLY like this weeks caption this.

Little more horse power too!

Still it was fun.

I must confess my own bit of envy for you guys who know how to work your kind of magic on cars. I don't have the knack I'm afraid. It just never clicked. Math, physics and software? Yeah, but not cars. Thankfully there are guys like you and Lockduke who are my type of bloke's salvation when it comes to automobiles lol.

My brother drag raced a 'funny car' (of his own design) for a time, dad designed and built fuel injectors for ramjet engines way back in the early sixties, and my older brother is a master machinist who actually has a couple of parts leaving the Solar System as we speak (on the Voyagers). Me? Bluddy bit jockey.

Not a thing wrong with a bit jockey, I happen to have raised three of them and I'm damn proud of 'em.

Physics scares the hell outa me.

I fight through math, I get it but I'm like you with cars it didn't click, unfortunately for me maintenance is ALL ABOUT MATH nowadays, But I still get my wrench fix!!

Now about the brother having parts leaving the solar system, THATS cool, I'm a huge space junkie.

The other brother that drove Funnies, I tip my hat I'd love to take that ride.

And without ramjets we'd never have had the SR-71, a personal favorite of mine

I had one of these, I swear it was haunted or something!

Ah! Christine my dear.