Stop Poor Communication Patterns in Their Tracks

It's not just a workplace problem either. I deal with it daily at home as well.

Wife starts talking in the middle of one sentence then switches languages for parts of a few more then ends in the middle of another sentence.

Do I,

A: Ignore it and assume she is just talking to herself.

B: Try and take what I can get from the english parts and act on them with great and likely wrong assumptions.

C: Get after her to either keep her inner dialog inside or think out what comes out of her mouth before she says it.

D: Act on her thoughts but do as much of it wrong as possible so that it becomes clear the if she wants it done right she either has to clarify things far better or do it herself.

E: Get our 6 year old daughter to translate things and when she becomes confused have my wife explain it in both languages and when our translator says that nothing makes sense in either language trust a 6 year olds reasoning ability that likely my wife is upset over nothing rational and talking out her butt expecting someone else to fix it for her even though she can't explain exactly what the problem is.

F: Mix and match all of the above to suit my whims and just have a good laugh so that my frustrations stay in check.

G: go pour a stiff drink and sit on the deck acting like I am too inebriated to pay attention until its time to go to bed.

I use "A" and "G" in combination.

Hey! Someone else with the same problems! I normally utilize F.

Sometimes if the task or whatever isn't too involved I go for D.

My 3 year old is still learning both languages, much better in English, and sometimes we look just at each other and just shrug it off if neither understands.

Sounds cruel, but it happens to me when I'm the non-native speaker.

In your case, nothing you can do will be right.

So, just go with G.

That first post response just about covered everything. Gee, that sure was a short blog.

As an addendum her are a few more common causes of poor communications I deal with far too often.

Talking to a person while you are walking away from them and mumbling.

Talking in a normal tone to a person who is running a loud piece of equipment without having got their attention.

Talking to a person as they are walking away from you and focused on something else.

Talking in half sentences while using incomprehensible body language and spastic hand gestures to make up for your lack of proper words.

Dreaming that you talked to someone about something or dreaming that they told you something when neither actually happened.

Or as my wife does, Mumble incomplete sentences while making spastic hand gestures about something she dreamt happened while walking away from me as I am running a piece of loud equipment moving away from her focusing on something else.

Don't know if I sait it before TCM, but you should be taking notes, your life stories will slay 'em if you ever decide to do the stand-up comedy circuit.

The best comedians find what's funny in their life and share it, which explains why long-running comedians end up talking a lot about airplanes and hotel rooms, they're so busy touring, they've forgotten everything else.

Did I ever mention that my wife considers herself a superior communicator to me because she 'sort of' speaks multiple languages?

Reminds me of some of the employees here: functionally illiterate in multiple languages. No matter how many languages you put on a sign, they'll find a way to 'misinterpret' it, even if one language is the Generally Accepted Regional Standard (English) and one of the others is their native tongue.

They seem to understand things well enough when they've got a complaint, however.

Communication is such a wide open topic that it is hard to address any particular area but there are some principles that apply in a broad spectrum.

As I was coaching little league baseball I would make sure the boys were listening with their eyes and their ears. Body language is crucial if we expect and want to be heard.

If we're dealing with conflict with someone, do as Stepehn Covey says in "7 Habits of Highly Effective People", "seek first to understand, then to be understood."

Speak clearly and distinctly with words the other person will understand. Speak at their level.

If I don't communicate well I may have a great idea, but if I am abrasive or abusive in some way, the message won't be received and the situation won't change.

Sounds like working with adults here. Don't even have to get scratchy or nasty.

This bothers me unless they are accountants, in which case, their misery is my pleasure....

"Yes" does not mean "yes" it means "I have heard sounds from you".

Another communication arena where eye contact matters is riding a motorbike in traffic. One is constantly looking at faces in car mirrors and even straight up and close to get that facial expression hint that they have actually seen you and will not try to kill you, this time. Horn is important.

It sounds like a baud rate issue

The main processor has not completed the needed calculations or logical decisions before the transmit buffer begins outputting it's buffer.

Try a slower baud rate, or duct tape, yeah duct tape fixes so many things.

Yeah, once you duct tape someone to something immobile, you'll find you have their COMPLETE and UNDIVIDED attention.

The problem comes later when you have to explain to the Parent / HR Director / Police Officer WHY you needed to duct tape this person to that chair. It's like nobody understands good communication skills anymore.

And since we're speaking of duct tape⁽¹⁾; for all you Star Wars fans, May the Forth be with you⁽²⁾.

Notes:

1. Duct tape is like the Force: It has a Light Side and a Dark Side, and it holds the Universe together.
2. Look at the date I posted this. I'm not saying anything more. http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DontExplainTheJoke

Done that with new apprentices (before anyone cared about feelings) they sure do listen pretty good after being tapped up, and stood on a bench for a while.

LOL

Fixit