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A Justified End to Buzz Word Use?

02/24/2017 3:07 AM

Sometimes what is heard is not what the speaker actually meant to say...

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#1

Re: A justified end to buzz word use?

02/24/2017 9:01 AM

Reminds me of the reference "You'll be lucky if you can get this person to work for you".

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#2

Re: A Justified End to Buzz Word Use?

02/24/2017 10:54 AM

And then we have recruiting buzzwords. Translated:

1. Employer Branding: If working there sucks, recruiting is a whole lot harder.

2. Big Data: People trust math more than they trust recruiters.

3. Diversity: Everyone should be welcome and included at work. Except, of course, for bigots.

4. Compliance: The threat of a lawsuit is the best path to preserving power and sticking to the status quo.

5. Engagement: If you want a candidate to take a next step, you’ve got to initiate the first one.

6. University Recruiting: Teach a man how to find a job, you’ll feed him (and his referrals) for a lifetime.

7. Compensation: People work for paychecks. Period. Company culture doesn’t pay the bills – no matter what.

8. Sourcing: Finding people on the internet is easy. Getting them to talk to you? That’s the hard part.

9. Gamification: All recruiting is a game. You win when you get a job. The rest is bullsh!t.

10. Outsourcing: No one’s taking your job. Only the sh!tty parts of it you complain about all day, anyway.

11. Content Marketing: The best way to sell is by having something interesting to say. Seriously.

12. Talent Communities: Please. Shut up and start calling them mailing lists, already.

13. Boolean: Everyone knows how to use Google. Stop being such a self-important douche canoe with your strings.

14. Thought Leadership: Following thoughtless people without thinking about it, first.

15. Retention: The best way to keep people around is by keeping them happy.

16. The Cloud: It’s not a selling point, it’s how the internet works, Gramps.

17. Wearable Tech: In 6 months, you’ll be glad you weren’t that guy.

18. Company Culture: We value all forms of diversity, as long as you think and act like we tell you to.

19. Work/Life Balance: Balance is impossible. The best you can do is cope.

20. Globalisation: Getting sh!t done, like money, is language and location agnostic. So too are excuses.

21. Gen Y: The people who are just now having kids, buying houses and becoming as boring as you are.

22. Gen Z: Same sh!t, different demographic.

23: Candidate Experience: Looking for a job shouldn’t have to suck. Seriously.

24. Brand Ambassadors: Who actually does the work is always more interesting than the actual work.

25. HR Technology: This is what Steam Punk will look like in 10 years.

26: Performance Management: Yawn. Next.

27. Learning Management: You can’t learn unless HR requires it – and when that happens, you won’t want to.

28. Hiring Manager: The person who not only makes the recruiting decision, but has to live with it, too.

29. Interviewing: Confirmation bias, followed by 29 minutes of small talk. Silly, really.

30. Data Privacy: You know this no longer exists, right?

31. Video Interviewing: The camera always lies. Handshakes rarely do.

32. Job Boards: Where you’ll keep getting your candidates until you learn SEO. Until then, they’ll never die.

33. Corporate Social Responsibility: The ultimate oxymoron.

34. Employee Agreement: “At Will” means never having to say you’re sorry.

35. STEM: Revenge of the Nerds is a dish best served cold. That’s an old Klingon proverb, you know.

36. Gender Gap: Gender is fluid, so if it’s really a choice, why not choose to make more? Problem solved.

37. Professional Certification: Since you can’t prove you know how to do your job at your job, try taking a test.

38. Authenticity: A blanket disclaimer for blatant lying and subterfuge.

39. Best Practices: Attempting to create disruption by doing the same thing as everyone else. Futility, defined.

40. Recruiting: Anyone can sell something everyone actually needs.

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#13
In reply to #2

Re: A Justified End to Buzz Word Use?

02/25/2017 5:48 PM

Bravo, for the word artistry. Awesome!

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#3

Re: A Justified End to Buzz Word Use?

02/24/2017 11:51 AM

I try NOT to use buzz words. As i , sometimes, have to explain technical results, data and so forth to people who are management or bean counters i have learned to keep it simple (KISS) and use examples that they would understand.

Using a buzz word only means you can not truly express yourself.

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#4

Re: A Justified End to Buzz Word Use?

02/24/2017 12:32 PM

One of my biggest sticking points in my working life has been the validity of 'Credentials' (indoctrination over aplicable working knowledge and skill as I came to understand it)

Years ago when I went back to college as a older than average student for a electrical Engineering degree the primary driving force behind it wasn't just that I felt a natural passion for the practice of engineering but largely from personal hands on experience of having worked with real engineers at past employments by being the people who worked between them and the regular workers being I had the knowledge and capacity to speak and understand what they were saying and translate that into common speak our company goons could understand (then would only ignore and screw up anyway).

Now the thing was of the engineers I worked around of various disciplines what made me want to join them was simple. About half of them were interesting very intelligent people who I would have loved to work with and learn from every day.

The other half, well, lets just say they gave me every reason to feel that if those morons could hold those jobs I could too. (rather like internet forum communities, and too many other aspects of life and dealing with people, have shown themselves to be.)

Half are wonderful amazingly smart and accomplished people I want to work with so I can learn from and the other half give a person every reason to think there is something drastically wrong with this world given what they get paid and credit for despite how absurdly inept, dishonest or utterly useless they are.

So as far as I am concerned there are two types of credentials in this world held by two very different sets of people. One is the credentials of being able to prove they know how to do their jobs well.

and the other is those who have a piece of paper that say that only they get to do something even if they are the wrong/worst/least technically qualified person to have doing it.

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#5
In reply to #4

Re: A Justified End to Buzz Word Use?

02/24/2017 12:35 PM

Every profession has its own bell curve.

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#6
In reply to #5

Re: A Justified End to Buzz Word Use?

02/24/2017 12:45 PM

Theres a Bell Curve and then there's a finely tuned narrow band bandpass filter curve.

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#7

Re: A Justified End to Buzz Word Use?

02/24/2017 2:21 PM

There's buzz word, and then there's acronyms... gotta love them coming from right person.

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#8

Re: A Justified End to Buzz Word Use?

02/24/2017 4:08 PM

Funniest I've ever heard is 'Teamworker'. I could give translations, but they would get deleted as being a bit blunt.

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#9
In reply to #8

Re: A Justified End to Buzz Word Use?

02/24/2017 5:16 PM

Does it have anything to do with the wearing of spurs?

Riding down staircases bareback?

Nominally similar to a certain kind of carpet having an exceptionally long nap, popular in the 1970s?

That sort of thing?

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#16
In reply to #9

Re: A Justified End to Buzz Word Use?

02/26/2017 6:36 AM

It's a real comfort to hear that somebody has had to endure similar .

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#10
In reply to #8

Re: A Justified End to Buzz Word Use?

02/24/2017 7:54 PM

Back in high school our basketball coach said thee was no 'I' in team.

I pointed out that there was an 'M' and a 'E' and that spelled "ME' (Being that basically how our team was anyway. Two 'ME' players and the rest of us to fill out the group.)

I ran a lot that day, not like we did much else anyway. Rather thought he wanted a track team not a basketball team being working with the ball was about the last thing we did in practice anyway hence the two guys who could do something with it were the 'ME' part of the team.

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#11
In reply to #10

Re: A Justified End to Buzz Word Use?

02/24/2017 10:49 PM

There is no "I" in team, but two in "Idiot"

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#12
In reply to #11

Re: A Justified End to Buzz Word Use?

02/24/2017 11:34 PM

I'm a lifelong English class flunkie so without a spell check program running there are a lot of letters (extra and missing) in most of my words.

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#14

Re: A Justified End to Buzz Word Use?

02/25/2017 7:10 PM

This is just like the psychology test, I hate to say people has prescription of who you are and what are your potentials and limits are by just mere cliche of what you said.

The fact is, people are always given 2 sets of option everytime. And by random thoughts you could end up preferring one or discarding both and that alone is sort of complicated.

The fact is people can easily prejudge someone and easy to fault find. When people dislikes one, there are probably million of permutation of set of negatives they can throw to him/her.

But there are those who speaks in real action and wits and nice guys too just like rixter.

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#15

Re: A Justified End to Buzz Word Use?

02/26/2017 3:42 AM

I always thought that disciplines create buzzwords to sound important and exclude the uninitiated. Even acronyms should be supported with a full explanation if you really want to communicate with the people who may have an interest in what you are saying.

Andries

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#17

Re: A Justified End to Buzz Word Use?

02/26/2017 2:01 PM

I turned "Recruiting Buzzwords" into an image:

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