Vehicle Maintenance Horror Stories

On the Mercedes, depending on the mileage traveled,it’s a lot more then that.

I didn’t see Porsche on that, but then again, as the saying goes, you need to ask, you can’t afford it.

one thing about German efficiency, a lot of the parts are actually interchangeable. Between MB and Porsche.

Forethought features.. I have one for you. We had 1996 Dodge Intrepid and we were visiting my mother in-law in Tennessee when the fuel pump died. So there I am, standing in my mother in-laws driveway, wondering how I am going to drop an almost full gas tank with almost no tools. She had a couple of screw drivers, an adjustable wrench, and a pair of pliers.

I pulled the carpet back in the trunk and found an access door held on with 4 bolts. Took it off and walla, there was the fuel pump. Easiest full pump change I have ever done.

Good ol' Dodge. You forgot the rag you were going to use to wipe sweat from your brow, that you didn't need.

The fuel pump cost me $208.00. Before I found the access door, I called several Morristown TN garages. For towing and replacement, I was quoted $1000 to $1200 to replace said pump.

That stupid little door saved me $800 to $1000, pretty nice when you're 600 miles from home.....

Bless Dodge on that one........

'Tis a story of high outrage on the motor scene, by unsuspecting buyers, nefarious engineers (undoubtedly furiners), and scurrilous management made up mostly of poltroons.

Not too crazy, but on my 2003 Toyota Highlander always threw an O2 code the day after an oil change. Not being that handy with vehicles (or much of anything, really) I googled it and found that this was a universal experience for Highlander owners. Based on the placement of the oil filter, it was difficult to get in to change it without jostling the air filter and dislodging one of the vacuum hoses. Probably happened 90% of the time.

Never had that happen on my Highlander.

I did create a potential maintenance nightmare. Dropped a small block chevy v8 into a '62 Austin Healey 2000. Did the little door on the firewall thing, to get to the back plugs. (_{and yes it went like a raped ape!})

Did it stand on its nose?

For about $10.00 you can buy a device that plugs into your OBDII socket that will mimic those $50-$500 code readers. It will give you real time analysis of many of your sensors while you drive.

It will cancel trouble codes, diagnose your engine and, after changing your battery, which also clears codes and renders your emissions system incapable of being tested will tell you when the system is ready. (Many sensors must be reset and this requires driving the vehicle for some time first.

You simply download a free app to read/clear the codes.

Not an endorsement:

This rendered my expensive code reader obsolete.

It does all that, and changes the battery? Wow, for $10, I am in! Why does it render the emission system incapable of being tested?

Only disconnecting the battery resets the sensors. (That clears all the trouble codes, too)

There's an evaporative something or other that must be run through some drive cycles before it is calibrated. Normally it does not matter as a few trips around town puts everything right.

It does matter if your state emissions tests, because unless all sensors send the proper codes, they won't test the vehicle, which is still required in AZ.

That emissions test's a total $20.00 ripoff in itself for any OBDII eqiipped vehicle.

Get one, it's worth it. I use OBD Check free app.

Not the manufacturer's fault, but a horror story about mechanics.

In the 80s I had a Ford Sierra company car, big firm with its own maintenance shop. I took the car in for a routine service, and on the the way home went to turn right across a dual carriageway (in UK). There was an HGV approaching, but some distance away so I put my foot down. The car jerked and died, I had to hit the brakes and only just managed to stop. After that I tried taking my foot of the accelerator, letting it overrun a short distance, then putting it down again. The car hiccupped and stalled before eventually recovering, so clearly something was wrong.

When I got home I looked under the bonnet, and there was a wire waving about in the breeze, and a tag on the carb. Ah, I thought, it's clearly come off, and I pushed it back on. Started the engine and it idled at about 2500rpm. I had to turn the throttle stop screw out 6 turns to return to normal! So some moron, apart from missing the obvious fault, thought it was right to screw in the throttle stop 6 turns, and could have caused an accident. They don't come much dimmer than that!

Wow! Are ya' sure he was a moron, or perhaps was he playin' afoul with ya?

I have a 98 Lincoln Towncar. The headlight assemblies each have 3 brackets you pull up on with one finger to remove. My 2002 Jeep Grand Cherokee has one long bolt through each headlight securing it in place, again, easy. My daughter has a 1998 Mitsubishi Eclipse that requires unbolting the front bumper from the frame and pulling it off to access the bottom bolt that holds the headlamp assembly in place. Not at all easy or fun. A simple bracket with a hard rubber piece the bottom tab, (where the bolt goes through), could have set into prior to inserting the two top bolts, would have made the experience much easier. Unfortunately in the automotive industry, "design for assembly" often does not include "design for disassembly".

Two words.

American Motors.

I have a 2005 Volvo S40. In order to change the cabin air cleaner, I have to pull off two dash panels, remove the accelerator pedal, peel back carpet, then reach up with a universal swivel on a cordless driver to unscrew two tiny black screws (that will inevitably drop behind the peeled back carpet so that the farther I reach for them, the farther they move away) from a cover. Then I have to scrunch the filter element to get it out. This scrunching causes half the debris to dislodge from the element and fall into the box that can't be vacuumed out, so it blows out the vents when the fan is turned on.

To put the new element in, it has to be mangled to get a 10" element through a 8" slot (hoping it springs open fully when inside), put the tiny screws back in (while working in the shadows among a labyrinth of wires and cables)... all while laying on by back teetering across the door sill! All for a routinely serviced item!

The whole time cursing and swearing an oath that if I am ever introduced to a Volvo engineer that I would kick him* square in the lug-nuts!

*if a "her", then kick her in some yet to be determined place. I may have to ask my wife for recommendations!

I had a 2002 Ford Escape 4WD with a V6. The alternator was against the firewall near the axle. You had to pull the axle to get the alternator out. That is the way I did it the first time. Of course the CV boot fails a day or two later after being flexed out of its normal range.

The second time I changed it I pulled the manifold and air plenum loose and brought it out the top. I had vacuum leaks that needed fixing anyway.

I heard a garage would charge 6 hrs to do one of these.

Oh yeah, I could go on and on with this thread!! The dumbest one I ran across while working in a repair shop was a Ford Aerostar. Flat rate listed a spark plug change at 6 hours. You had to remove both wheels in the front, the inside the cab cover, move the alternator, and I forget what else. It was just insane, and when I had one come in to replace an engine, it was off the hook crazy to do. Instead of days the whole job took weeks to finish.

Yes, I used to suggest public floggings for automotive engineers that came up with these "mechanic traps".

Compared to an afternoon, (6hrs) to swap out a 3.0 in a 1990 Voyager. Even though the 3.0 Mitsu engine was a piece of junk i could not in good conscience not take advantage of the "plug and Play" way Chrysler had built that vehicle. The one thing the took the most time was actually swinging the engine in and out. Un hooking and hooking up was far easier than when i swapped in a 4 speed for an auto in my 72 Celica.

I had one. It was great to drive but, yeah, spark plugs. Only the two rear ones were inaccessible. I researched it and found that one method was to unbolt the whole engine and front axle assembly from the body and lift the front of the vehicle up and away from the engine. Then do the service and put it back together! My solution was to drill a hole on either side of the engine cowling and plug the holes up afterward.

Hopefully when new car design is taken over by AI the system will automatically design maintenance problems out.

I like that aspect. One of the concepts that I like is the INGOCAR that I keep mentioning. It has a uni-chassis, and various body styles snap onto it.

This means if one was well-heeled and so inclined, they could take this car out as a luxury sedan one day, and the next day or even the same, convert it to a pickup truck.

Getting at items for maintenance should be far easier in such a case.

DAVE: Open the pod bay doors, Hal.
HAL: I’m sorry, Dave. I’m afraid I can’t do that.
DAVE: What’s the problem?
HAL: l think you know what the problem is just as well as l do.
DAVE: What are you talking about, Hal?
HAL: This mission is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it.
DAVE: I don’t know what you're talking about, Hal.
HAL: l know that you and Frank were planning to disconnect me, and I’m afraid that's something I can’t allow to happen.
DAVE: Where the hell’d you get that idea, Hal?
HAL: Although you took very thorough precautions in the pod against my hearing you, I could see your lips move.
DAVE: All right, Hal. I’ll go in through the emergency air lock.
HAL: Without your space helmet, Dave, you’re going to find that rather difficult.
DAVE: Hal, I won’t argue with you anymore. Open the doors!
HAL: Dave...This conversation can serve no purpose anymore. Goodbye.

...stubborn machines, got their genes from washing machines, or 'twas it donkeys?

This morning. My son's 2004 Mazda6 with the 3.0L Ford Duratec V6 engine. Thermostat needed replacing. All of my previous experiences with replacing thermostats involved reaching in and removing two bolts on top of the engine, sometimes without disconnecting any hoses, and being done in 20-30 minutes. Watching the closest, to year, make & model, video we could find for doing the job it was near the right side fender-well under the power steering pump. The job requires moving the serpentine belt out of the way, unbolt and move the power steering pump then you can (sort of) see and remove the thermostat housing. The person doing the job in the video removed the front right wheel and the inner fender to (easily?) access the belt tensioner. Looking straight down inside the engine compartment I could see the opening for a 1/2" breaker bar to move the tensioner in the loosen direction so that seemed easier. Three small bolts allowed the coolant reservoir to be moved aside for better access to everything below which was not done in the video. Looking at the one bolt I could see for removing the power steering pump left me thinking what I saw in the video looked much easier. There was no way I wanted to remove that pump and there was no way to see under it without removing it. Never having been one to follow instructions without questioning I proceeded to the other end, (back) of the engine. Removed the top of the air box and the flex hose to the intake. Beneath that hose was a plastic housing with three or more hoses connected to it. Took off one hose, removed the three bolts holding the two halves of the housing and inside the housing found the thermostat. Thanks to SWAG analysis I found and replaced the thermostat that was on the wrong end of the engine. Horror Story would barely scratch the surface of what I would have gone through had I followed the video to the letter, only to find there was nothing under the steering pump.

Important take-away. Be sure the video exactly matches your year and engine.

The car in the video was a 2005. Was supposed to be the same from 2003 to 2008. Just ordered a Chilton Manual. That said, my son enjoys watching me work. He learns much from my intuition.

My latest horror story:

Four or five year old "Murray" lawnmower with Briggs & Stratton 6 HP vertical shaft engine. Pull start cord snapped off, and I had to drill out rivets to get to the pully-windy thing to put a new cord on it. Next I used large 1/4" x 3/4" sheet metal screws, but these I soon learned had to cut off short by 1/4" in order not to impinge on the flywheel fan. After that the thing would turn over but not start, seems the kill switch was not opening/closing. After working the switch about 20 reps, the mower finally started. Probably needs contact cleaner.

Then I was using my 4-cycle Craftsman weed whacker, and the internal parts broke loose inside the pull cord drum, actually, the detente parts are attached (normally) to the motor fan on the shaft. I found half the parts, was able to clip them properly back in place, was able finally able to finish the job on my lawn. I will need to order more parts soon.

Hey , spoken as a real pro. Trucks ( like the Toyota Hiace ) are designed to go for whatever distance the designer's had in mind when they built then , and " as Factory ", die in the street eventually, leaving very little evidence as to why they died .

I had a good friend buy one , and I maintained it . Worked great as long as everything stayed " O.E.M." , that is , ' as Factory '.

I personally changed plugs on a 1965 Sunbeam for a coworker and did not know about an access door. Tight but I got them changed. No worse than a Subaru with the 2.5 boxer.

2000 Toyota Corolla Hatchback. Made in South Africa, to do the timing belt, take the many belts off the motor but the timing belt cover can't be taken off unless the water pump pulley is removed from the water pump but it can't come out until the pump is loosened but that is after the upper upper engine mount has been removed.

Luckily this engine is not an interference engine and the timing belt broke while my wife was driving it home from work. A quick tow and part of a day spent to put a new belt on, mind you it had only been on there for 60K Km not the 100K Km it is supposed to last. Only cost was the parts as I do all the work myself and why not with the dealer charging $200 just to think about it.

Allow me to hearken back to the days of yesteryear.

IMHO:

I had a 1959 Ford F100,the toughest piece of steel to ever come out of Detroit.

The hood was like a barge, you could stand on it without even a ripple. I pulled stumps using the trailer hitch which was welded to the frame. You could stand under the hood beside the motor if you wanted to. Very easy to access anything. By the '70's the original six cylinder was near it's end of life, and I had always wanted a little more power, so I dropped in a 343 V8 from an American motors Ambassador. After cutting out the original motor mounts in the truck, and taking the entire front end unibody from the car, it dropped right into the living room under the hood of the truck. To my surprise, the driveshaft was exactly the same as in the '59 truck, length, splines everything. I left the tranny bolted to the motor when I pulled it from the AM car, and it all just slid right in, no problem The front end parts I removed had the motor mounts so I did not have to improvise or make them, simply cut of 1 inch from the width. A perfect fit.

The exhaust also fit perfectly, with no modifications. It was an automatic transmission, so I had to bolt a park stop on the bell housing, to prevent the shifter going beyond park and locking everything up, but it was a one-bolt fit in an existing bell housing hole.

Easiest swap I have ever done.

Apparently AM bought some parts from Ford Chrysler, and GM for their cars. The 343 CID looked like a Buick engine with GM distributor points and condenser, the A/C was Chrysler, the carb was Ford. The AM motor was fully accessible and easy to service when it was required. Simple tools easy access.

AH! "Those were the days my friend, we thought they'd never end..."(quote from All in the family)

Unfortunately, greed and efficiency have overtaken user servicing and reliability.

"Get it out the door, we will fix the recalls when they occur." seems to be the modern mantra for software and hardware, including vehicles.

One company even placed a dollar value on human lives of $10,000 to decide on whether to make vehicles safer of not. I will not name names for fear of retribution.

Paranoid am I? Sure. But a little paranoia is justified now days..

Vehicle manufacturers discovered they could make more money financing the vehicles than in making them, so quality took a back seat to sales.

Profit is now Job One.

All of the preceding is simply my experience and personal opinion,(To which I am currently entitled).

My current Subaru Forester with the boxer engine. When you want to change the plugs, you have about 1" either side between the rocker cover & the chassis. The "easy" way to change the plugs is to undo the engine mounts & jack the engine up.