Alex ( A Clockwork Orange ) VS Joe Dirt ( Just Joe )

I wouldn't like to influence your choice...

I would however recomend the addition of a KrisDel ^TM ProjectoVom patented projectile vomiting machine whic may well ensure success in getting you banned next year.

Del ( of KrisDel Products Ltd )

If you did an "Alex" over here (complete with b***dy great stick/cudgel), you'd probably have a riot-van full of coppers all over you within 10mins. I don't recommend trying it!

Some might contend that it was often the bobbies who came in with big sticks. Having several relatives in the Police, I dare to suggest such may occur having heard first hand accounts. The level of force meted out often seems inversely proportional to the crime. I think we can thank our crappy court system for a lot of that.

Going back on topic, how about finding a Gordon Brown mask - they must be available somewhere by now. If not, stuff large amounts of cotton wool in your mouth (more to one side), curl your lips, ruffle your hair, and wear a very ill-fitting brown suit. A forgettable tie will be exactly the opposite. A cushion tucked under you shirt may be of help, as will clutching some convincing looking documents. Alternatively just say " I use Linux, and play Dungeons and Dragons". Empty coke cans and Pizza trays stacked around the door will help.*

* Tks v.

After serving up the candy at my place I went door to door with my young ones.

I had people that I knew for four years refuse to open their door.

Went to a pub afterwards and had to keep some gay guys hands off of me.

It has a strong effect and not good for the average viewpoint person.

I have a screamingly funny latex mask. No, this isn't a kinky post ! It's so gross that even holding it makes me squirm. I got it from a joke shop years ago thinking 'this will be good at the staff party'. Well, it was, but bloody hot to wear for more than 2 minutes + it made it darned hard to drink. I pity any poor fool who's ever gone to a party dresses as a Guerrilla. All I can think is 'that must be very sweaty after a few minutes', and 'never watch that film Trading Places'.

Please post a photo.

I can try dig it out and squidge it under the scanner. The thing is a real horror, probably more so if it scans the thing. Bear with me till it's nearer the big day. Horror will be yours ! I promise not to put my butt in it or anything like those classic 'office jokes'. Hold on tight baby, I'll find the thing ( It currently oozes in a cupboard some place)......

How about something from the Rocky Horror Picture Show???

That should do the banning trick or treat.

Rocky Horror was a good alternative, I think my kids are thinking the Joe Dirt was it.

When thinning out the garage though the hat box caught my eye.

One does wonder about the attraction of the dark side, Joe Dirt is so much the opposite the attraction for that I think is the stronger this year.

That Derby Hat and the eyelash kit was fun : -- )

Probably very few people around any more that even know A Clockwork Orange. They probably would not get it, at least not in my neighborhood...

Dude. No way. They dont know Kubrik in Houston anymore. Ever since the 5th ward fell the fine arts are suffering.

cr3

Don't listen to them, my little droogy. Don't listen to 'em singing songs of their fathers, and going gob gob!!!

I say go for a bit of the ol' ultraviolent!!!

Don't know whether I'm showing my age, locality or just plain ignorance, but who the h**l is Joe Dirt?

BTW saw "Clockwork" at University cinema club when it first came out, before it was banned over here.

It's banned in the UK?! But it's so much like the UK right now!!!

What about the book?!

Don't think the book was ever banned. I've still got it somewhere - probably still packed in a box after my last move (lack of shelf-space in new flat).

See... Now this is the difference between our two countries (and when I get wind of it, I get creeped out).

You lot ban films and the like on a nation-wide scale. However, with the exception of some jerk-water, back woods counties, we do not ban things like that anymore. We try (even if we don't always succeed) to regulate them according to age of the viewer.

'Banning' something isn't the same as controlling its existence. We get all freaky over books (eg Lady Chatterley's Lover) but anyone who wanted a copy could get one. You guys had the Prohibition era but anyone could get booze. Now you got crack central. Wanna play ?......

You know as well as I do that drugs and alcohol are a problem in almost every modern country. And it isn't a game.

..it isn't a game.

I totally agree vermin. It's not a game, it's a war. Probably more vile than any other, but somehow, anyhow, it must be 'won'. It never will be, but limitation is the issue.

The war can't be won, it just keeps the price of drugs high... If it were possible to follow the paper trail, we would be virtually despondent about whose pockets the money falls into.

It's the only reason why I hope there is a hell.

I did see an article which suggested that if the medical industry bought the opium crop at a fair price to make their drugs the growers wouldn't need to sell it a street drug... dunno if it's true...but I wouldn't be surprised.

It's probably very true, but there's too much money to be made by selling it illegally to addicts. After enough laundering, the money winds up in very prestigious hands, but, of course, their hands are clean. Not to mention it keeps various ethnic groups disrupted, poor, and disoriented as a political force that would take certain parties down in a heartbeat if they were organized!!!

Think about it... Any hound dog would tell you the stink goes all the way back to Ronald Reagan, may he toast in the after life.

Politics seems to be about balancing the number of 'haves' and 'have nots'. Weight is proportional to wealth ( which is only a comparative term anyway). There's maybe a few too many on ther light end of that balance, and eventually it will swing. Nature abhors a vacuum, and the pigs will only eat so much swill. Nancy should have stepped aside for Maggy. Social chaos such as drug addiction is the indicator light that the scales aren't balanced. It's also the feedback mechanism that will slowly but painfully restore balance. No matter how much wealth you have, when your own kids do drugs, your gonna see that change needs to happen. Someone out there is pulling strings, and it isn't just the ass-wipes pimping drugs. They take their cut in a different way, but it will kill them just as sure. Power corrupts, and it may even be the aphrodisiac Kissinger said, but it ultimately implodes when abused.

...so is that Alex or Joe then?

I did the parade with the family, and polite conversation does not carry what they said about the "Alex" outfit.

I figure my wife does not remember the first time, or she has totally erased if from her memory. Either way it did not fly.

Joe Dirt it is this year

Funny thing are memories you know.

We don't ban films much any more - ban (maintained by Kubrik, I think) was lifted on "Clockwork" in the last year or three.

We're just gradually whittling away at one of the things we used to treasure most - Free Speech.

This is not an acusation...

Do you guys have, what is called over here, "Constitutional Law?" In other words, we have a document that guarantees certain rights that transcend any local or state laws - even laws made by the Feds.

It was my understanding that in the UK, things like free speech are considered rights, but there is no place where the concept of free speech is cast in stone. Is this true?

You are correct. Many others can explain better, but we don't have a written Constitution in the way you have. I'm not sure it makes any difference. Technically HRH has to authorize any act of law wanted by Parliament (where that's written down I don't know) and could, in theory, decline to do so. She also 'Invites' somebody to lead Parliament. Failure to do so on these matters would certainly be the end of the Monarchy. In a similar way, the 'House of Lords' can return matters to 'The commons' for further debate, but this is just a stall tactic. Of recent years progress has been made to reduce hereditary right to sit in the House of Lords. People now buy seats ( Said cynically). The 'right to bear arms' bit of your constitution states something that is just accepted as 'understood' here. If people feel oppressed they will eventually rise up, written document or not. The American system is perhaps more apparent than ours - It can be seen and read. I'm not convinced that having something in writing guarantees anything. We all float on the same sea of puss.

Here, the Constitution is a religion, a cult!!! If someone breaks the Constitution, I don't care how strong they are, they will fall... Be it by the powers that be or by a revolution. While few would admit it, to us it is more sacred than the Bible.

If I was being mischievous on a weekend, I'd suggest debating the 'right to bear arms' and it's intended meaning. Which version of the constitution and amendments should I refer too ? My take was that it's intent was to provide means for popular revolt ( ie tell the Brits to **** off, with which I agree). Not so sure it ever meant everyone carries a gun to settle personal scores. Oh crap, now I'm on the NRA hit-list as well ! But like I said, 'If'. 'Chaos' sounds very like Kris.

Constitution sacred here? It all depends on whom you talk to.

Have you ever filled out a tax return? Do you have to fill out a tax return, by law? Think about what you're actually doing: you are witnessing against yourself under compulsion. And should you witness against yourself inaccurately in any way, you are considered a criminal and can therefore be imprisoned.

Consider this, then, from the Fifth Amendment to the Bill of Rights: "...nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law..." Maybe the People hold the Constitution in high esteem, but our Government clearly finds it repugnant.

The book comes in two versions, the English version has an extra chapter in which Alex matures, is intrested in girls (a girl) and gives up ultraviolence. The American publishers only agreed to buy the book and publish it in the USA if he agreed to drop the last chapter, he was desperate for the money and agreed. In an interview he bitterly regretted agreeing to this. Stanley Kubric was unaware of the other version. I have the English version of the book.

You've got to be kidding!

http://perso.orange.fr/chabrieres/texts/clockwork_orange.html first hit.

To answer my own question (for anyone equally ignorant, but 'fraid to 'fes up), this ...

... is Joe Dirt.

Read all about it on The Internet Movie Database.

"Life's a garden man. Dig it." ==========Joe Dirt.

Man I love that movie! That one and Mars Attacks.

Did you ever see the bubble gum cards that the movie was based on?

The question is will anyone you open the door for know who you're supposed to be?

The genetic makup of the guy in the picture is on his face. Seeing how modern myth has muddied the understanding of the great unwashed, they will probably think I would be dressed up as a game character.

Quite a few of them have long hair you know?

I Dun know why its fun, but for some things why ask?

Certain substances render everything funny!!!

I quit those substances long ago, but seeing how so many others view reality I sometimes wish I still had some of the "Good Stuff".

Or at least what they are smoking

What about some options...

1. Jason from Friday the 13th
2. Michael from Halloween
3. Freddy from Nightmare on Elm Street
4. Schreck?
5. Spiderman (depending on how fit you are)
6. George W. Bush - tell them that candy is not an entitlement, then shut the door.
7. Transformers - only if you're a practitioner of yoga
8. My Little Pony - get ready to be listed as a sex offender
9. Leonardo De Capprio - before plastic surgery
10. Drag - get ready to be listed as a sex offender
11. Peter Boil as Frankenstein's Monster - hand out bright, foil wrapped condoms - get ready to be listed as a sex offender
12. The Dali Lama - hang sign on door, "In exile in India"
13. Batman - get ready to be listed as a sex offender
14. Santa Claus - at least you'll be appropriate according to seasonal marketing
15. King George the Third - at least you'll scare them by reading four hours of Shakespeare to them
16. Yourself, holding apples with a razor blade sticking out of them. Just say "You're never too young to get the hang of shaving"
17. Dress up like a really old guy with a sign around your neck, "I'm you fifty years from now!!!"

That's just not right vermin. Now I've got to go get a fresh cup of coffee and wipe the damn screen !

Raise ya..

... I dunno ... !

<Rose>