Have a Chuckle

Ever wonder why: a large meal in the middle of the day sends you to sleep in the afternoon, but, a large meal before you go to bed keeps you awake at night.

Why do you never see the headline "Terrible pool player murders his optician!"

What about cat flavoured dog food?

Did you know that that black box is orange?

Why is there no cream in a "cream cracker"? That's just cream crackers.

Why is "Bombay Duck" a fish?

If something is ceased it has come to an end. If a person is deceased, why do we assume they are dead?

Things I lie awake an night and wonder about:

Why do we park in a driveway,and drive on a parkway?

Why do you have to pay for driving on a freeway?

Why is the plural of Moose not Mice?

Or the plural of mouse not Meeces? (except in cartoons: "I hate those meeces to pieces!:Mr Jinx)

Is polish Polish?

Are finish nails made in Finland?

Were pencils invented in Pennsylvania?

If sheep could fly,would they still be called a flock?

If you put shoes on a bear would be still have bear feet?

Can you eat an Octopi?

Are people in Hungary hungry?

Is it chilly in Chile?

How many turkeys in Turkey?

How many chins in the Chinese phone book?

Will you explode if you eat pasta and antipasta at the same time?

Why is Therapist two words:( The+Rapist?)

Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Why is a near miss not called a near hit?

Why don't they put airbags on the outside of the car?

"Why am I doing this?" I asked myself?

And then I began wondering where the sun came from.

Finally it dawned on me this morning,as I sat there eating almonds,reading a book called "You are what you eat", by Gilbert Grape.

My Dad was a finish carpenter, I always thought he was German!

For some years, I was amused to notice that the pet food and baby food were on opposite sides of the same aisle in almost every supermarket. ?Subliminal message??

Our employers insist that you need to go to a doctor to get a certificate to prove that you were too ill to go to work. sharing the illness with everyone at the doctor's!

"Renewable energy". Um, er, where does one get a replacement star from?

And shocked no one mentioned jumbo shrimp or military intelligence

(thanks George Carlin!)

We ARE quite stupid (sorry all!)

Why is commonsense rather uncommon?

On the contrary:-

"Common sense is the most fairly distributed thing in the world, for each one thinks he is so well-endowed with it that even those who are hardest to satisfy in all other matters are not in the habit of desiring more of it than they already have."

René Descartes

Ah! That clears everything up. Thanks.