Britain's Biometric ID Cards: NO2ID in 2008

Was that $35 Billlion before, or after they export those IT jobs to India?

Well, if the British can do it for $35 Billion, surely we can do it for only $25 Billion, right?
Of course, the Indians will quote a price of $15 Billion, then make back another $30 Billion in customer service, updates, enhancements (bug fixes), and peripheral devices. After all, someone has got to supply the British government with card readers, digital locks, data display terminals, etc. that work with the new cards, right?

Hmmm, sounds like a job for MicroSoft Man!

Faster than a speeding e-mail, more powerful than the latest version of Windows, able to leap tall lawsuits with a single team of lawyers, it's....MicroSoft Man!

(Theme Music) Microsoft Man, strange visitor from another planet (that explains a lot!), who, in his guise as Bill Gates, mild mannered CEO of Microsoft, fights a never ending battle for money, power, and the MicroSoft Way!

Our Story: Bill Gates, while ostensibly visiting MicroSoft UK, slips away from another boring meeting and changes into....Microsoft Man. MM steps quickly into a nearby cubical and using his super e-powers, scans himself into a .wmf file and travels the Internet to the office of the Prime Minister. Popping out of the PM's private color-laser printer, he materializes in front of the astonished Laborite, in full-color red, white, and blue, spandex costume with a big M on his chest.

"MicroSoft Man, I sure am glad you're here. We've got ourselves into quite a pickle here in old Blighty. Can you give us a hand?"

"Why, surely, what seems to be the problem?"

"Well, it seems our taxpayers just won't stand for the billions we want to spend on the ID card system, and the Tories aren't much help either."

"I have a simple but elegant solution. We will repackage the ID Card product as a new cutting edge video game, supplying only the hardware and a preview demo in the box. The hardware will record the user's biometric data by hidden programming in the demo, and upload it to our database. We then allow the user to download a copy of the full implementation of the software, but require the use of the ID Card which we send to each user to unlock the game before every session. In that way the user will continue to hold and carry the ID Card, since we will also provide public game facilities. All this will of course be paid for by the exorbitant price we will charge the initial users, our Beta testers. Then we lower the price so that every average citizen will want one at "bargain pricing".

The PM was stunned. "Why,...that is just...BRILLIANT! Microsoft Man, I don't know what to say, you have done it again. Britain will be eternally grateful."

And with that, MM reached over and deleted himself, only to reappear back at Microsoft UK, just in time for tea.