Scientists Create Formula for the Perfect Handshake!

I dunno about the handshake, but that phrase "Five Year Promise Offer" sounded eerily familiar:

Five Year Promise

I find no allowance in the 'formula' for a prospective customer being Howie Mandel (afflicted with mysophobia) or Terry 'Hulk' Hogan (afflicted with Hulkamania).

When greeting a new acquaintance, I will guage (the best I can) the sort of greeting appropriate: gentle or firm, agressive or subdued. Some cultures around the world (ready to be incorrect here) do not embrace the handshake at all.

(t): How do I control the temperature of my hands to level 3?

(dr) Or, the dryness value of 4? What if I (or the other person) have hyperhidrosis?

I believe you are correct. This is an attempt to sell automobiles. Those rascals!

Interesting

I was once introduced to Jeff Fenech. I was friends with his manager and we met at my house for a relaxing afternoon.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jeff_Fenech

I knew who he was and what he could do in the ring and expected a true hand shake. Not to be. At that time in his carrier he had so many broken bones in his hands that the handshake was more like shaking a girls hand. They were tiny five digit things at the end of his arms. He put on a brave face and I noticed that going all the way, while conveying my pleasure to meeting him, would cause him great pain so I dosed the hand shake accordingly. Lucky me!

It's instinct and good manners and to put maths into it is just plain stupid and for suckers. To indicate physical strength or weakness to a person unknown is never a good idea and out of place. We, in Australia, are not great friends of shaking hands anyway.

If I really like a person I use both hands for a greeting and invite the other person to do the same which usually happens spontaneously and is governed by reflex and not the brains.

Stirred not shaken? I'll have one any day, Ky.

Jack, I don't mind the fact that when I read your threads I'm facing down the barrel of a tank. I'd much prefer awkward and genuine over contrived any day : ) As far a GM.....Surely most people would prefer a better engineered automobile from GM, not a sales ploy. These are just my thoughts. Ray

So is GM going to stand for " Grabby Mits" now?

If you want me to buy something then sell me what I am wanting not what you want me to buy that makes you the most commission.

When I was a Welder and Plasma Cutter service tech I was told that I was a dam good sales person too.

I told my customers what I knew as a service tech about every model and then told them exactly what machines I don't know anything about because I never ever see them in for repairs. Then I took them into the shop and showed them what models I ordered parts for in bulk lots.

What sales person would do that any where else and if they did wouldn't you always come back to them when you did need something else?

I would.

"scientists"

"formula"

"primary measures"

Read "the HR idiot went to" SurveyMonkey

For the teachers and facilitators out there, note; non-dimensional + non-measurable = non trainable

i like this one, simple, true and from "Einstein" no less....

Sorry my Indian friend but what has that got to do with hand a shake? Am I missing something? (Z)

Oh no, nothing about the handshake per se, but then, we are talking here about nonsensical use of mathematics aren't we ? i read the original handshake formula, and all responses here, and have to conclude that the handshake formula takes the cake.

Good as gold, got that. I thought it maybe had to do with a dishonored hand shake or something. The Z in Alberts formula and variations thereof. Better ask then never, Ky.

Brilliant comment on so many levels.

You didn't need to write a single word. That picture was great on its own!

ہیلو

Exquisite Beau....I'm sorry kvsridhar......you were saying....

Personally, I find salesmen (of any sort or gender) irritating when they start using their lame "physiological" training on me.

This goes double when they do the "power handshake", they grab too hard, hold it for too long, stare into my eyes and often twist my hand over to establish dominance.

A far better tactic is to offer me a quality product at a reasonable price, treat me with a bit of unforced respect and tell the truth.

After all, I don't know them, I'm not trying to be their friend (yet) and we aren't being introduced by a trusted third party.

As they say in Hollywood: "Sincerity is the most cherished human characteristic, so when you can fake that, you've got it made."

I wonder how much time and money was wasted on this stupidity? Were they given government bailout dollars for this?

I would like volunteers to work with me on studying this handshake thing. We should be able to get a non refundable government grant in the millions for that!

I've read and reread this article and I'm trying to find the punchline. Someone please help me.

Surely their not spending money on this. If they are, though, I would love a job like that. How do you prove those equations wrong? You could spend a lifetime getting paid for work that has no results.

Join Human Resources - it may be the business version of cancer - but it will employ anyone irrespective of IQ.

Oh, sorry, a 'sweeping generality' - my bad - Some can be too 'cause and effect oriented' to pass the tests.

^{_{(I suspect this bodes badly for you)}}

Now lets get them to work out a hug on the beach.

Wife

Sister or wifes sister

Girlfriend

Motherinlaw

Someone elses girlfriend

Some hot chick no one knows

I think this could be a whole new category of interest.

what about those funny handshakes masons give?

I am in favor of the "Harpo Marx Leg Shake", it works good on overzealous car salesmen like this:

Judging someone by their handshake is plain dumb. You can't gauge someone's character or trustworthiness by their handshake, and anybody that believes you can might as well take up Voodoo and Astrology to complement their system of reasoning.

And considering the advent of SARS and other contagious diseases, and considering many relationships in the modern world are not physically personal, now is the time to end the handshake custom.

If I have to do it (with another guy), I remember to wash my hands as soon as convenient. And I'm not a germ paranoid.

~~ Nehmo

So, you don't wash after shaking hands with a girl?

Should we ban kissing, too?

Harrumph.

"So, you don't wash after shaking hands with a girl?"-Guest

If she's cute, no.

"Should we ban kissing, too?"-Guest

I didn't recommend *banning* anything. I said we should stop the custom of handshaking. It's actually possible. I've found that when someone offers me their hand, I say "I don't shake hands". It works.

Now kissing is a different subject. In my society it's not that common between strangers; thus, it's not a common method of contagion.

~~Nehmo