Things NOT to Say in the Workshop

"Thats the stupidest thing I have ever heard/seen!"

Trust me management will top it next week.

Pretty much anything that's said to make someone else feel stupid.

It's a guaranteed way to make everything you touch turn to sh&t until your penance has been paid.

What happens if I do this????????

I work in a build that's 5 acres under roof; I'm a project engineer involved in upgrading and maintaining the equipment electrically. I'm also a class clown. Because of the large area to cover in the building we wear 2-way radios for communication between departments and maintenance crews.

Last night the word was out (by radio) that a department head was not going to be in. Normally I don't go on calls unless the other electrician get over whelm with calls.

This one maintainer individual had a lot of calls this evening, His name "John, last name rhymed with boil".

So I got on the (Blower) 2-way radio and said "I have a boil on my ass, and I'm going to name it Steve." At that time someone who I though was a millwright came back and said, "This radio is for business." I replied, "There's no manager in this department, so I can say what I want.

When I get to the line, the guy is bet red laughing. It turned out to be the manager I said that to.

Luckily I dodged another foot in the mouth, the guys my friend.

On nights I left a message on the bosses voice mail. Put the phone down or so I thought….. He got the full-uncensored version of what we all thought of him from the conversation that followed. Ooopps

Typo Meant to call my make-believe boil John, not Steve

While advising an electrical worker disassembling an electrical product.

"OK just disconnect that"

<bang> "owwwww"

"OK, that's alright it was just the capacitor, it is discharged now. Go on try again"

<bang> "owwwwwwww"

"OK, NOW it is discharged! Wait, come back it's fine"

Anybody remember Tim Talyor of Tool Time? His next door neighbor, Wilson, once said : " Always is as dangerous a word as Never " Something I try to live by now, especially when you have 5+ offspring in the house!!

Cheers!! ( yes, I need a drink with 5+ in the house )