Unknown Future

No-one knows the future. However, everyone has hopes, dreams and ambitions. Describe some of them, and CR4 readers may offer guidance.

Snippet: there are more English speakers in China than there are in the United States of America.

Hi Mandy,

Have you looked also into the possibility that you may be clinically depressed? A number of your other posts suggest to me that you may be struggling with depression.

There are a whole host of reasons why people become depressed, some are circumstantial, others, biochemical. Some people simply don't have enough seratonin, an important neurotransmitter. Could be their diet, could be congenital (inherited), or something else. The difference between having enough seratonin in your system and not having enough can be pretty marked.

The lack of it is frequently diet-related. A close second is heredity. More tryptophan in your diet would help in either case, as it is ultimately converted into seratonin with the result that you feel less depressed, less anxious overall and have a more hopeful outlook on things in general. Might be worth looking into.

...in which case, to examine the possibility, the reader needs to seek medical advice. Experience here suggests these people can be very helpful and it isn't something an Engineer can do.

Implied. Seeking medical advice from several experts, in fact. I don't know how it is in the UK, but here many of these 'medical experts' are pretty much little more than pill-pushers. "Here take this an call me in the morning" types, with the actual visit (with an actual doctor, no less) lasting all ten or fifteen minutes, max. Pill-mills, I call them. They ask a few cursory questions and then hand the patient a script for something which may or my not be useful or, in some cases, counter-effective or even downright dangerous.

Most of the medications prescribed for depression here in the US are selective seratonin uptake inhibitors, SSRIs: basically what SSRIs do is simply recycle the little seratonin the patient already has, but do nothing to help the patient's body create more. Many if not all of these meds have a list of known side-effects longer than my mortage.

My advice to Mandy is: do both. See a specialist and hopefully check out several, and try boosting her seratonin levels by dietary means. Tryptophan naturally occurs in certain foods. If she's not eating those foods, she's not getting their benefits. Where these foods are relatively uncommon, she can substitute by taking supplements which are readily available just about anywhere and can also be ordered online.

But either way, do both.

Thank you. you CR4 friends all is friendly and help me a lot. I really appreciate it. Sometimes, I feel depressed , I just can not see hopes for the future. I want to buy a house belong to me, but I can not afford it, and my current job is not good, and I also want to live a full, meaningful, interesting life before became old, so that's why I become depressed sometimes.

Seek psychological help!

You need to talk to a shrink, not an engineering forum.

Any kind of life is better than no life at all.

Seek help.

If you lived under the Communist thumb you'd be depressed too....

What did John Lennon say about possessions?

Yes - John Lennon was one of the most popular Communist visionaries. Couldn't stand the guy.

I can't stand the guy and his failure of a wife, Oko. BTW, my late father-in-law was a top ranking NYPD Sargent and former WWII USMC Veteran. After Lennon was shot, he was on the security detail to protect Oko and her jackass son...at the express order of ding dong Mayor Koch. He could stand either of those idiots! He often said that she tried to boss around the detail as if they were 3rd world house servants...also, the kid (Shawn?) was a royal spoiled brat that demanded anything and everything, and he always got it. EPIC FAILURES!!!

From other posts I gather that you are married. Talk to your husband if this has any meaning to you. A lot of times we forget to tell about our struggles in live to our dearest people because we think they know already. But every single one of us is engaged in his own daily routine which doesnt necessary always comes together.

As I said earlier! Talk! Bring it on. Writing here is good, but talking to someone personally is even better.

Listen to the other advice. If in doubt get professional help!

All the best!

I agree with the others who say that you sound depressed, and recommend that you seek professional help.

You may find these articles interesting:

Depression around the World

Happiest Nations

Ironically, some of the wealthiest nations have the highest rates of depression.

Many years ago, I was suicidally depressed. Today, I am extremely happy... so things can change for the better... and I hope they do for you.

Religion is one means to happiness and purpose for many people. I gather that it is easier to practice a variety of religions in China now than previously. If you are not religious, you may find Buddhism appealing. There is no strong requirement to "believe" in a god or gods, although many practitioners do, to varying extents. In the US (although this may be quite different in China) everyone is welcome at a Buddhist temple, and you are warmly received regardless of your beliefs.

Talking openly and honestly with your loved ones can help too -- although this requires trust that they are not judgemental. (If they make you think that there is something wrong with you because you are unhappy, then this is not a good route to pursue.) Parents and grandparents can be helpful.

Good luck in your journey.

Nice post, Barchetta. GA.

Interesting what you said about 'depressive realism'. "Well, I'm just being realistic," I've heard cynics say in defense of their versions of 'depressive realism', as if theirs was the only way of interpreting reality (and a rather arrogant PoV, to boot). No, cynics are people who, when they see flowers, look around for a coffin. For the worst of this lot Life is little more than one long funeral, and then they die, having never once paused to smell those flowers. This viewpoint wasn't thrust upon them; it was a choice. It always is:

Two men looked out

from behind prison bars.

One gazed at the mud;

the other, the stars.

Hi Barchetta,

Thank you. I agree with your point, many times, I just lack believeing, I should be hopeful for the future