Hell Froze Over Earlier Than We Thought

It's cos you Oz types have beer straight out the cooler ! A pint of lukewarm 'Real Ale' and it would all be over. That doesn't explain why we don't get sharks (except the occasional Basking shark, but their mouths are so big you wouldn't even notice you'd been swallowed ! )

Keep on drinking the Amber Nectar type stuff MOBI. Take no chances I say ! Shark repellent in a tinny. Now I need to think of an excuse to give my wife !

You could always say that it lubricates the joints........look see how subtle I am after I've had a few stubbies........ both in limbs and mouth.........however be thou not too loose in thy jaw hinges because it might, oops sorry...........WILL get you into trouble!!!!!!!

My tactic is to always get myself into trouble. That way nobody is ever surprised (apart from me when I wake up wondering where the heck I am !).

On the subject of hell freezing over at all......

Hell explained scientifically

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave.

Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of the religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

Well I can't be everywhere all the time ! She's coming round mine tonight.. On the subject of the afterlife, no message was recieved this year. Well Gosh. I don't allow people to make calls home. Once you're in, you're in !

This wouldn't be too good either Kris, this photo was taken yesterday.........not quite the worst duststorm I have seen.

Flip me ! I hope you had the curtains drawn when it hit. I seem to recall a couple of years ago Sidney got hit by a massive dust storm. Is this so or am I confusing it with someplace else. The damage done by all the sand blowing in was horrendous. It's one of those phenomena that we just don't see in the UK. Our worst natural disasters are really just occasional floods. We had a minor quake not long ago ( It's in a thread someplace) and although there were no casualties, the story was big time over here. We are simply lucky enough to be in a place where major natural disasters don't happen. With an event like that dust storm or a tsunami etc the press here would go into melt-down.

I don't recall a sand storm of that nature hitting Sydney, mind you it can get very dusty at times, however I could be wrong. I live in Adelaide some 1500km ESE of Sydney. Just to further whet your appetite if you are considering a move to gods country.

The top left photo is a dust storm approaching Melbourne, the other two are in the outback.

I'd want to know you had adequate supplies of toilet paper before I moved there ! For now, a damp soggy island will do. Much as I like your beaches and outback, it feels a bit safer here. We don't even have all those poisonous animals. About the only thing to look out for is Adders and Jellyfish. Even if hit by one you are probably going to be OK.

We are going through the longest drought on record.........water restrictions the whole bit.

Northern Australia, Queensland and Northern New South Wales have these flooding problems, in southern parts do have a problem with water.

Wow - that looks like a major road flooded out. Any idea what that square shaped object to the right is ? We've had some bad floods in recent years but would go ape over anything like that. One foot of water and all TV news coverage is diverted to it. People are still living in temporary homes since floods many months ago. A lot of flood defence systems are on the 'barely adequate' stage, and a lot of places simply have no constructed defence. The Thames barrier will probably fail in it's job within a decade. Some areas of the country are un-insurable now for flood damage. Things have definitely changed, and not just because of building on bad sites. Antiquated drainage systems and increased rainfall are becoming ever more apparent. Like Oz we have the paradox that long dry spells leave the ground baked hard so reservoirs and aquifers don't fill up, several weeks of rain may not replenish supplies. Currently the situation is OK, but it seems to oscillate more each year. The weather system seems to be becoming more unstable.

It probably is a major road, as to what that square object is on the right of the road, I'm like you Kris ......a deer with no eyes......no idea.

I try to avoid being ID'd as well. Trouble is that the UK Police will fingerprint and DNA you for the most minor of offences.

Hey Kris, what do you call a deer withe no eyes AND no legs?

That should have fell out of a Christmas cracker, I have no idea ! Santa hasn't got any kids because he only visits once a year. Well, something that sounds like that.

Answer.....still no idea

"Do be, dobe dobe doo" : Frank

............I'll do it my way. Same bloke.

And of course, we wont be building any more homes on recognized flood plains, will we....?

... with Gordy in charge ? Nah, we'll just re-designate all known ones. Brown-field sites could take on a whole new meaning.

Hello PlbMak

Who rattled your bin................sorry, couldn't resist that one.......ha,ha,ha.

In answer to your very sarcastic question:-

Of course we will..........whether we can get insurance or not...........when this declared natural disaster occurs the government pays millions of tax payer dollars to these poor souls.............then they set up a public relief fund to assist these poor souls who have come upon difficult times "through no fault of their own" .........you should have built your house on the side of a mountain, even if it is an active volcano.

Not to be outdone the insurance companies put up their premiums because of the huge payouts that they didn't pay out..........all this brings in more money to the government coffers due to GST..............and wow......that's it, money makes the world go round......I hope that I don't sound too facetious??????

Yes, well, I think that sums it up. Except, of course, the gov.com haven't exactly been forthcoming with the compensation yet.....

Well the government have already started dishing out the dollars on the Northern New South Wales coast............what next? Who knows.

?

Kris, my last post was in answer to PlbMak about compensation for flood victims by the government.

Sorry MOBI. Will not interfere with my idiot jokes next time. It must be a pretty bad situation for those affected by flood. Not a wise choice of me to joke around on that subject matter. I'll let you and PlbMak discuss, and any further comment I have will be serious.