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How Conflicts Escalate: Overreacting to Perceived Slights

Posted April 07, 2009 9:09 AM

From Scientific American:

"You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours," we say, and "An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth." Conventional wisdom and decades of research point to the universal human tendency to reciprocate, responding to good or bad acts in kind. But if people only give as good as they get, how do conflicts escalate?The answer, according to recent University of Chicago research, is that positive and negative reciprocity are not symmetrical: we retaliate against selfishness more than we reward generosity--even when the slights are only illusory.

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Guru

Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Piney Flats, Tennessee
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Good Answers: 23
#1

Re: How Conflicts Escalate: Overreacting to Perceived Slights

04/10/2009 8:07 AM

My Gradfather gave e the greatest advice long before I got married. When I just began dating actually.

He said, " Son you can never control another person. They are going to do what they are going to do and that is that. Accept it now because women will test you to your very core. Do not build up any great expectations in another person because they will always fail you. It is best to surrender from the beginning. Then you will not spend a major part of your life in arguements over stupid things. Life is too short for that and above all never make anyone responsible for you happiness. "

At 62 years old he did run on a bit.

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