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Who Would Have Thought a Comet Would Look Like This?

06/15/2015 1:01 PM

Who would have thought that a comet would have such a surface topography as this? It looks more like a mountain pass in Afghanistan. The only thing missing is Jeremy Clarkson coming round the bend in a beat-up Range Rover.

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#1

Re: Who would have thought a comet would look like this?

06/15/2015 1:34 PM

This might be the only place left that Jeremy Clarkson could drive a vehicle on camera.

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#16
In reply to #1

Re: Who would have thought a comet would look like this?

06/16/2015 9:34 AM

Yeah, no production crew to push over like tenpins up there.

I'm sorry, Clarkson used to be funny in my eyes, but now that I know he's as much of a bully off-camera as he is on, I just can't stand the sight of him.

(Gruff and bigoted as a pseudo-fictional character(1) is funny, gruff and bigoted in real life is just 'being a sodding jerk,' if you'll pardon my Cockney.)

Notes:

  1. That's when one plays a character that is either a caricature of oneself, such as William Shatner, Andy Kauffman, or the man who got the trope named after himself, Adam West (see Adam Westing on TV tropes for details), or making a fictional character that shares the name and appearance of the actor/comedian who plays it, such as Steven Colbert, the liberal comedian, and Steven Colbert, the Ultra-right-wing host of the Colbert Report (both t's are silent).
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#2

Re: Who would have thought a comet would look like this?

06/15/2015 1:49 PM
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#21
In reply to #2

Re: Who would have thought a comet would look like this?

06/16/2015 5:01 PM

No, no, no! A beaten-up Range Rover, not a beaten-up Clarkson!

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#3

Re: Who would have thought a comet would look like this?

06/15/2015 1:58 PM

I think his producers would like to put him there.

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#6
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Re: Who would have thought a comet would look like this?

06/15/2015 3:43 PM

The BBC has become a left wing PC-riddled establishment with EU backing. Clarkson is the exact opposite. As long as he made millions for them they just had to grin and bare it - until the punch-up. Now many are crying out for the BBC to be privatized with a voluntary subscription service only. Bring it on.

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#9
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Re: Who would have thought a comet would look like this?

06/15/2015 5:27 PM

Many more would like him to stay.

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#10
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Re: Who would have thought a comet would look like this?

06/15/2015 6:47 PM

The show is dead without him. He always left me in stitches. (That is laughing in stitches, not sutures. ) He reminds me of a modern day Python, hence my interest in the show.

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#17
In reply to #10

Re: Who would have thought a comet would look like this?

06/16/2015 9:52 AM

Well he nearly put Oisin Tymon in stitches because he was upset about a dinner.

I don't remember any stories of John Cleese punching anyone because the hotel chef has already left for the day.

We'll just have to see how the new hosts handle the show after retooling. I would have thought May and Hammond would have worked as a duo, with the Highstrung Hamster taking the 'head stooge' position over Captain Slow, but neither wanted to continue with Top Gear without the Orangutang.

"And on that bombshell, it's time to leave.."

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#18
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Re: Who would have thought a comet would look like this?

06/16/2015 9:57 AM

Maybe the Stig will speak.

Nah, that would just destroy the best part of the show. IMHO

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#19
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Re: Who would have thought a comet would look like this?

06/16/2015 10:13 AM

If the Stig speaks or otherwise reveals his identity, he immediate ceases to be the Stig, and a new Stig will step out from the Racing Pit Under the Mountain. As long as there is a single racing car or race track in the Brittish Empire, there will always be The Stig.

(We already had one Stig get fired for revealing himself, I believe it was the first one, known as 'Black Stig' because of his all-black racing suit. And the rest was an attempt to tie in to the Arthurian Legends and/or the 'King Under the Mountain' stories.)

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#25
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Re: Who would have thought a comet would look like this?

06/17/2015 6:40 PM

John Cleese did shoot a store keeper because he didn't have any cheese.

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#26
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Re: Who would have thought a comet would look like this?

06/18/2015 10:19 AM

But to be fair, he was in a cheese shop, and the clerk was initially claiming to have plenty of cheese before admitting that he had no cheese, and, oh yeah, that was A SKIT on the show.

Fictional bullies are funny, REAL bullies are jerks. From what I know Cleese never bullied any of the production crew off camera, unless it was clear he was 'playing a character.'

It's like being insulted by Don Rickles, Everyone enjoys it, including the 'victim,' because we know it's an act. We've seen from Clarkson punching that producer that his 'bigoted jerk' character is NOT an act, but Clarkson being a bigoted jerk and a bully.

Hammond and May are doing a show of support for Clarkson, but the problem there is that they are 'too close to the problem,' in a sort of Stockholm Syndrome, they are in denial of Clarkson's bullying and racial slurs, they even try to cover up for him:

(In that episode in Asia, where the crew just build a bridge across a river)

Clarkson: "It's a nice bridge, but, oh, look, now there's a Slant on it." (A local had just started crossing the new bridge)

Hammond (jumping in quickly, verbally stepping on Clarkson's period): "-It does sort of lean a bit, yeah." (from the camera angle, the bridge looks perfect for vehicle travel, the floor looks level and the uprights all look within 10-15 degrees of vertical)

And for those who did not get the 'slant' comment, in the UK, it's short for 'slant-eyes.' Being an American, that slur went right over my head until I did a little research and discovered why that scene was considered one that Clarkson had to issue one of his (many) apologies for.

I understand that you want to defend Clarkson, and I don't fault you for it, but I've dealt with bullies in my past, and bullies want attention, ANY sort of attention, so when a comedian is revealed to be a bully off-camera, he completely and retroactively ceases to be funny in my eyes, and I want nothing more to do with him whatsoever.

Clarkson is a bully and a troll, and we have been feeding the troll for way too long.

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#27
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Re: Who would have thought a comet would look like this?

06/18/2015 10:24 AM

Agreed.

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#30
In reply to #26

Re: Who would have thought a comet would look like this?

06/18/2015 12:59 PM

I know the difference. It's too bad that sometimes a person's "genius" also ends up being their downfall. I enjoyed his shows and will miss the humor that went along with them. C'est la vie.

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#31
In reply to #26

Re: Who would have thought a comet would look like this?

06/18/2015 1:06 PM

Nobody in Britain admitted to even knowing what "slant" referred to. It went unnoticed until some bright spark made a complaint, then others jumped on the bandwagon, with screams of "racist," Hitler, Nazi, jackboots etc. etc. ad nauseam. The PC world has just gone insane - all trying to gain some sort of imagined superiority. Can't wait for it to burn itself out.

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#32
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Re: Who would have thought a comet would look like this?

06/18/2015 1:52 PM

Ah, so that was an 'obscure'/'newly minted'/'regional dialect' slur, not some 'well known' put-down such as the 'N-word' is in America. (I think everyone in the world knows what that word is, and knows it's intended to be offensive, which must make one African country really uncomfortable, since that word is the country's NAME.)

Still, it makes me wonder why Hammond was so quick to jump it with a comment that 'spins' Clarkson's statement into talking about the structure of the bridge, and why the BBC crew didn't say, "Beautiful shot, simply brilliant, but just for jollies, could we get you to do it again, just in case the light was off." (by which time the local would have finished crossing, and a comment about a 'slant on the bridge' could only be interpreted as talk about the structure.

Also, what sort of dialect says, 'the bridge has a slant ON it,' instead of 'the bridge has a slant TO it,' or 'the bridge is slanted'? For a country that likes to keep it's TV clear and understandable ('Standard Received Dialect,' the 'official' accent of the UK, is also known as 'BBC English'), you'd expect the producers to 'encourage' the actors/presenters to use SR whenever possible.

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#33
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Re: Who would have thought a comet would look like this?

06/18/2015 2:21 PM

You will find this hard to believe, but the N-word was not regarded as offensive in the slightest in the 1950's and earlier, in Britain. The word was synonymous with the color black, as in Latin, niger=black. People who had black dogs often named their dog n***er, and when calling them in at night would use that word out loud. If you have ever seen the film "The Dam Busters" (original 1955 version) you may have noticed that Wing Commander Guy Gibson VC, DSO, DFC, had a black Labrador with that name and only when shown in the USA was it (sometimes) bleeped out. But things changed of course and it soon became an insult, in line with US parlance.

Getting off-topic, but my English master at school was a Mr. B.White. Always referred to as Blanco White. He knew that was his nickname and wasn't offended.

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#35
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Re: Who would have thought a comet would look like this?

06/19/2015 9:32 AM

Oh I'm well aware that the N-word used to be considered the 'polite' version of saying 'black,' it's all part of how languages evolve. Just within my lifetime I've seen phrases replacing each other to be 'kind.' For example, here's a chain of phrases used to describe a certain type of student in class.

  1. "He's stupid/dumb/simple." (this was before my time, all that was considered offensive by the time I started school)
  2. "He's slow/a slow learner." (this actually makes sense to me, some people learn faster than others, and statistically speaking, half the group will be slower than the group average)
  3. "He's retarded." (A 'fancier' way of say 'slowed,' since to retard something is to slow it down or impede its progress.)
  4. "He's mentally challenged." (this is beginning to make less sense to me, a challenge is something you normally CHOOSE to take for the thrill of overcoming it. When did he choose to be 'the slow kid'?)
  5. "He has a learning disability." (not this is one I find the most offensive, since it's stating that he CANNOT learn. dis-abality = unable to do something. We've gone from slow learner to non-learner.)
  6. "He is/might be autistic." (Autism seems to be the go-to description these days for anyone who's the least bit different from what the Standardized Test looks for. Even worse is the collection of agencies and organizations who are trying to 'cure' autism. You don't 'cure' being gay, you don't 'cure' having light or dark skin, you don't 'cure' being male or female. Some people just have their brains wired a little differently than the majority, and that's a GOOD thing. If we were all alike, we'd end up going the way of the Gros Michel banana. That used to be the banana variety eaten in the US, until a fungus showed up that was lethal to one Gros Michel plant. Since the Gros Michel is a 'cloned' plant (it does not produce viable seeds, so the plants are reproduced by grafting and, that technique there you cut a branch off and convince it to grow roots) the fungus that was lethal to one was lethal to all. Diversity is how a population survives, physical diversity, genetic diversity, neurological diversity.) (Sorry if I went on a bit of a rant there, autism groups that treat neurodiversity as a 'disease,' are kind of a pet peeve of mine.)
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#34
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Re: Who would have thought a comet would look like this?

06/19/2015 3:22 AM
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#22
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Re: Who would have thought a comet would look like this?

06/17/2015 5:31 PM

Newsflash! They are all being replaced!

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#23
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Re: Who would have thought a comet would look like this?

06/17/2015 5:33 PM

You mean Jeremy took them all out! That sounds like a lawsuit waiting to happen.

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#28
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Re: Who would have thought a comet would look like this?

06/18/2015 10:28 AM

May and Hammond are doing a 'show of (misguided) loyalty,' based on their long career together.

Fortunately, both the Hamster and Captain Slow have shown that they can carry shows on their own. Hammond is great at showcasing Gigantic, powerful vehicles, and due to his size, they look even MORE impressive when he's near them. and James May is a phenom at doing 'historical tech' shows and other 'quirky' things, like that house built entirely out of Lego Blocks (with some hidden support pillars and beams, you had people walking around on the second(1) floor, and a LEGO block-only floor would not hold together under that sort of stress.

Notes:

  1. In the US, where I am, the floor at street level, is called the First Floor, while the floor above that is the Second Floor, in the UK, the floor at street level is the Ground Floor, while the floor above that is the First Floor(2).
  2. But that's another storey(3).
  3. I think the last time I got to use that joke, we had a saxaphone player running the country.
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#24
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Re: Who would have thought a comet would look like this?

06/17/2015 6:38 PM

Well, we'll see if the show maintains its viewership with the new crew.

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#29
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Re: Who would have thought a comet would look like this?

06/18/2015 10:30 AM

I'm going to give it the old Harvard tryonce the new season comes out. It wouldn't be the first time the BBC managed to keep a show running, popular, and GOOD while changing principal actors. "Would you like a Jelly Baby?" (Yeah, Tom Baker is STILL my favorite Doctor.)

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#4

Re: Who Would Have Thought a Comet Would Look Like This?

06/15/2015 2:10 PM

I used to think they all looked like this....

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#5
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Re: Who Would Have Thought a Comet Would Look Like This?

06/15/2015 3:33 PM

I was really looking forward to comet ISON. Too bad the sun ate it!

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#7

Re: Who Would Have Thought a Comet Would Look Like This?

06/15/2015 4:42 PM

My favorite comet:

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#8

Re: Who Would Have Thought a Comet Would Look Like This?

06/15/2015 5:25 PM

You're right, probably Dr. Who would have thought of it.

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#11

Re: Who Would Have Thought a Comet Would Look Like This?

06/15/2015 6:53 PM

Here is what it looks like headed up to a mountain pass in Afghanistan.

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#12

Re: Who Would Have Thought a Comet Would Look Like This?

06/15/2015 7:34 PM

It looks pretty cool to me.

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#13

Re: Who Would Have Thought a Comet Would Look Like This?

06/15/2015 9:02 PM

Well at least it didn't look like a green can....

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#14

Re: Who Would Have Thought a Comet Would Look Like This?

06/16/2015 1:08 AM

That shaded area looks a bit like Donald Duck. What is he doing there?

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#20
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Re: Who Would Have Thought a Comet Would Look Like This?

06/16/2015 10:57 AM

I think he must of quacked up!

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#15

Re: Who Would Have Thought a Comet Would Look Like This?

06/16/2015 2:46 AM

As soon as he finds Philae he will come round the corner

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