The Most Useless Machine Ever

Thats not useless! Its just poorly utilized.

My niece, my brother and a number of my friends and their kids could all use one of those on there home light switches. They just cant figure out how come there electric bill are so high yet anyone can stop by any time and all the lights and everything else are on and no ones home.

hmf. I thought the HF Empor was the most useless machine ever.

Hanging lifeless from the socket, not doing what it doesn't seem to do...

How will you know if you need HF EMPOR? How will you know if it works?

For an extra $100 you can buy a ''reusable" meter to answer these vital questions..

Then there's the most useful machine ever...

The Rockwell Automation Retro Encabulator

After all, it's designed so that side fumbling is effectively prevented.

I can't be certain because is was some thirty years ago, but I seem to remember something along of The Rockwell Automation Retro Encabulator doing the rounds.

It was a conference for building owners and I was displaying a computer system that was specifically designed for building control, monitoring, security etcetera. One of the other companies attending was Otis who were handing out cans of Otis Brain Lubricant (relabelled cans of Fosters beer) to all the attendees.

Nevertheless it's still a hoot, especially when you have some sort of techno inept victim that can't understand why all the engineers are rolling round the floor with fits of laughter induced spasms.

Reminds me of a popular comedian's double-talk routine. Could also be a debate in congress.

Years ago, I had a similar machine. You put a coin in a slot. The machine shook a bit, opened, and a spooky green hand grabbed the coin and pulled it into the box, shutting itself off. Cute Halloween gimmick and bank.

Wouldn't this besomething attributable to Bill gates? having just spent an entire f###### day wrangling a new computer install he is "top of my pops" right now!

Hi,

we did put an aging lemon into this box and 4 wires into the lemon and connected to the to the outside.

Then we asked the electrical engineers at our site (proud to have passed their final exam) to analyse this 4-pole circuit.

RHABE

G'day gals, guys & gurus,

I've just got to build one of those.

However, I think the addition of a big sign that says

"DO NOT OPERATE THIS SWITCH"

then along with the finger that turns it off an audio response along the lines of

"You IDIOT, I told you not to operate to operate this switch."

in a big loud voice so everybody within 100 metres or so knows what you did.

Cant remember who said it but it certainly rings true:

Tell someone there are one hundred billion stars in the sky and they will believe you, but tell them the paint on the door frame is wet and they have to test it for themselves.

Regards, masu

You are more than right MASU,

in German language it is easier to understand as "to comprehend" is equivalent to "begreifen", and this means to touch with fingers and hand and catch the meaning.

Sometimes I do not use my fingers to test but my nose - it will not stick.

But once there was a very ugly smell that I got not rid off for more than 8 hours???

RHABE

If ONLY they would turn themselves OFF.

I think the Retro Encabulator is hands down the winner of the most useful machine, I wondered what Chevy Chase was doing with his time....