Structural Engineer

Fastening the sea is very tricky, just when you think you have it firmly fixed, the darned tide goes out and it all runs away...
Mind I do have some fixed in a bucket so it can't get away. (It's my local reference to see if global warming is causing a rise in sea level...it was Kris' idea, we cross check against each others buckets of sea water for better data integrity)
Del

Del,

That sounds like a worthy cause. I'd be honored if you would allow my to set up a monitor bucket here in the USA. The next time I go to the ocean, I'll fix myself a bucket of sea water and bring it back to Arizona. This location would make the water less susceptible to tidal movement, too.

Oh, just to keep things all the same, do you know where I can get a metric bucket?

You should prob PM Kris so that we can synchronise our buckets correctly.
Although he'll probably turn up here soon enough
Del

Think you've got the wrong end of the stick, Del.

IMOH he's trying to increase the speed of the sea. The best way would probably be to get the Earth to rotate faster. This could be done by getting all the spare people and animals to run west along the equator, then jump down a very deep hole (that someone prepared earlier).

Hmmm, we definitely need Kris to help confuse sort this out.
Del

I'm in a state of distress at present; One morning last last week, I went out to check the bucket and found it full to the brim. There was also an inch of water surrounding it . The 1" I found on the ground seems to have gone now (though my bucket is still brimming), which either means my house is floating of global warming is a complete lie.

I shall get a second bucket and fill it at next high tide. My primary bucket looks as though it may be out of calibration

Relatively speaking, wouldn't you have to slower the earth down if you were trying to fasten the sea?

I think they should go east, young man go east!

No, I'll stand by going west. If the Earth rotates faster, there'll be more frequent tides, so the sea will have to go faster.

Go west, and Bob's your uncle (relatively speaking).

Well,

I don't know about that. I modeled it both ways and it seems to me that my model of east movement produces more turbulance.

I'd show you both models, but my Play Dough has dried out.

I'd show you both models, but my Play Dough has dried out.
Brilliant PMSL.
You Paydough models should integrate well with my CAD (Cardboard Aided Design).
Del

"PMSL"

I certainly hope none of that went into the bucket. (Or on your CAD)

Yours is the only unalduterated reference left. Or, is it too late?

I haven't had a chance to calibrate my bucket, yet. And the only calibration equipment on hand at the monent is for the Southern Hemisphere. I guess I could cut the ground lug off the power cord and turn the plug over. I'll get back to on that.

We're actually getting a bit worried about your sea level rise down here in the southern hemisphere - all the extra water will just flow down and swamp us! If only someone could work out some kind of sea fastener to hold it up there.

Oh sure!!!!!!!!!! The Doldrums used to be enough to keep everything in equilibrium.

Now, with all the mucking about with wind generators and such we've thrown the whole thing off.

By the way, do your wind machines turn the wrong way down there? Maybe, if you ran your wind machines backwards and reversed all the propellers on your ships you could save the planet!!!!!!!!

It's past my bedtime.

We've tried wind generators - found it's just a waste of electricity since we hardly generated any wind at all.

What I'm working on now is a system where we run car engines backwards to make gasoline (no luck yet).

Well Hell! You guys from the south aren't very bright, are you?

No offense, but any fifth grade northern hemi child knows that when you run car engines backwards all you get is HHO and cold air.

Yeah - well so far all I've got was a ticket for reversing down a freeway - and my petrol gauge is still going down!

But you're right - I'm getting a lot of cold air - especially when I press the funny little button marked AC - maybe that's for when you run the car on mains power?