Your Best Car Related Story

One of my brothers was driving a big dodge yank tank dually diesel monster of a truck in the states. I came over for a visit and borrowed his truck while I was there. On one long drive I noticed the brakes getting a bit soft, out of concern for other motorists (and not wanting to plow this giant red tank through a McDonalds or Starbucks) I pulled off for a look.

I was amazed to find a set of vicegrips pinching the line going to the front right wheel on the flexible hose! I noticed the entire caliper and disk wet with fluid so I called him up. My sensible brother told me it had been that way for ages, ever since the line started leaking at the caliper out in the woods. He told me to top up the fluid and it would sort itself out! I did as I was told and pumped the brakes a few times and sure enough they felt normal. I guess with all those extra wheels in the back and the fact that the only thing I was hauling was me, a set of his golf clubs and a binfull of random rubbish the stoppers had enough grab to feel right!

Drew K

That is odd that it didn't pull to the side with the non-functional caliper as front brakes do the lion's share of the braking (about 70% if memory serves). I doubt he would be able to get the safety inspection sticker with that configuration.

I never noticed it pulling much, the truck was so big that I could have put my car from home in the bed!

I never had to press the brakes too hard and I was afraid to slam on them after I found the repair. The truck seemed to shed speed well enough just hitting the brakes softly.

From what I understand the inspections there were not as vigerous as an MOT inspection...I doubt most of the cars and trucks I saw on the street would have passed a good MOT.

Drew K

I would have been detected in a European test. 110% certain.

In Europe we have to catch eastern European/Russian trucks with bad brakes, worn/damaged tyres and broken suspension/rust.

Most are stopped on the borders of the EU. Sometimes they get a bit further than the border, but the Police are well practiced in fishing them out.

The have to be either repaired properly before progressing, or scrapped, no going back home in such a state!! (or anywhere else for that matter!)

Many years ago, after he retired, my Father worked for the Courts System in the UK (Dover, Kent) as a Turkish/English translator (he was one of Churchill's "special forces" sent to Turkey to train the Turkish army/air force and allow them to join the World war 2on the side of the Allies) for Turkish Truck drivers caught by the UK Police with unsafe vehicles.....

I had an MOT done on my Ford Granada (c reg I think?). It was the 4 wheel drive with the cosworth gearbox, I had gotten it off a mate for free when the front prop shaft came loose where it fixed to the front axel (it had tried to spin its way into the cabin right by the drivers clutch foot!).

I replaced the shaft and had fun with it. When the MOT came due I took it to my mates at the local garage. Somehow while enjoying our tea I never told them it was 4 wheel drive and I guess I must have been distracting them talking about the races because they put it on the brake tester and started testing it! Finally I realized what they were doing and asked if they usually did the 4 wheel drives on that. I got a blank stare and a quick OY! gerrof of it!!!

They didn't do any harm but sure did seem excited for a bit! They put some gizmo that measured deceleration on the floorboard and went for a drive. Passed with flying colors. I drove it for the next year or so till I ruined the torx bolts trying to change a cv boot on the rear. Then it was time to see which of my mates had my next free vehicle!

I went through about 10 vehicles in 5 years like that, learned quite a bit about working on motors that way.

Drew K

Back in 1979 my roommate and I bought a beat-up abandoned 1963 Plymouth Valiant for $25. We may have paid too much... it was so rusted that I created both rear fenders out of bent coat hangers and fiberglass repair cloth. Looked terrible, and only ran on four of six cylinders, but like most Slant 6 cars it just wouldn't die. The funniest thing (to us) was we were used to fixing it on the fly, much to the amazement of our passengers. For example, it had a "three on the tree" gearshift - meaning a manual shifter on the steering column. The pin that held the shift lever to the steering column yoke would fall out, often while shifting. Whoever was driving would just hold the shift lever up in the air, and while our passengers panicked the other one of us (in the front passenger seat) would find the pin on the floor and reassemble the connection. We could do it pretty quickly - usually before we needed to shift again.

Should have just replaced that pin with a bolt and nut. But since it was so easy to put back together we didn't consider it a real problem. Sure freaked out some passengers though.

Sort-a goofy to replay to my own post, but I just remembered a similar story.

Back in the 1960s my (older) neighbor built a street-stock level race car. He had to park it near the street and sometimes a drunk good ol' boy would hop in and take it for a joy ride. So my neighbor changed the steering wheel from stock to one of those removable racing units (which were a new idea at the time). He'd keep the steering wheel inside his house. Soon enough one morning he found a passed-out drunk good ol' boy sitting in the car. The guy woke up totally perplexed that the steering wheel was missing, and insisted that he hadn't done it! The local cop played along, and warned the good ol' boy that he'd better find that steering wheel or we'd better not see him around again... sure did stop those drunks from joyriding in that race car.

good story! during High school when I couldn't drive my car (which was in 100000 pieces in my garage) I routinely drove my 63 CHEVY short-bed pickup truck. this poor thing had over 275K miles on it and the last years of its service had been spent as a back up for one of my dad's AAA businesses. it was almost never maintained before I came to own it. the ignition switch was defective for years and rather than put out 15 bucks for a new one. the standard practice was to turn the key on and open the hood, and jump across 2 terminals on the starter solenoid with a screwdriver to fire it up. I thought that was Mickey Mouse so I upgraded to two red 12 gauge wires I ran from the solenoid to the floor on the passenger side of the cab. I still needed the key to provide power to the coil but now I didn't need to get out and open the hood or have a knife (which was ALWAYS in my pocket) or screwdriver to start it. I had many a laugh when someone would get in my truck for a ride and I'd ask them to hand me the two wires on the floor.... they would and I'd turn the key and touch the wires together, sparks would fly and the engine would turn and fire up. this freaked out a lot of peopleI eventually installed a push button and ran the wiring correctly but I liked my "wires on the floor" set up for effect better

OK. I'll play too.
I once had to leave my old beater pick-up at work while I was out of town. My buddies ran a hose from my windshield washer fluid reservoir to under my dash pointing at my crotch. They then attached the brake light switch to the windshield washer pump. The first stop, I got a wet crotch.

It wasn't funny then but it is now.

LOL!!!

Racing! I've done a fair amount of that, all at amateur levels. My funniest experience was getting talked into fielding an "Enduro" car. These are street cars (usually well-worn and not very reliable) with glass (except windshield) and lights removed and a roll cage added. No modifications allowed (although many teams cheat). Drivers are supposed to be amateurs too, so the combination of bad cars and bad drivers can be quite entertaining. They put about sixty cars on a half-mile paved oval, and go 200 laps or two and one-half hours - with no cautions. Cars that break down or wreck are left on the track (although they will wave red flags to get drivers out of harm's way or to bulldoze a hole if the track is blocked). Pure chaos!

I prepared a 1978 Chevrolet Caprice sedan. In our first race our driver earned the nickname "Mr. Magoo" because he drove like he was blind. He kept running over parts that fell off other cars or ran into things until he flattened all eight tires we'd brought. But we finished about mid-pack. He'd been hit hard in the right rear frame - enough to bend it and skew the rear axle - but the car actually handled better after that.

I improved the car for the second race, but he got into a shoving match with three other cars and ended up stalled and pointing the wrong way at the end of the front straight. After re-firing he got the crowd on its feet as he drove the wrong way down the front straight head-on towards the pack of oncoming cars. He barely turned into the pits before they creamed him. I checked the car over and thought it was okay - he didn't tell me that he was having trouble with the shift linkage. He went back out thinking he had the transmission in Drive, but he was in Low gear. About ten laps later the engine overheated and the radiator blew.

I repaired the car and made some "improvements" (to compete with the cheating) and in the third race the car really ran good. I had warned Magoo not to drive fast in the grass on the inside of the track because it would feel like ice, but during the race he forgot and ducked into the grass to miss a couple of spinning cars. He hit an abandoned car and tore the whole front end off of our car. Too bad, we might have finished in the top five.

I repaired what I could, but for the fourth race I warned Magoo that the front end was pretty fragile so if he hit anything he would probably kill it. Without telling me, Magoo had "rebuilt" the carburetor - once the race started we realized that he could only get about half throttle. So at first he drove smart by staying out of the way and allowing faster cars to pass. We got into the top fifteen by doing that. But near the end of the race for some reason he decided he was racy and didn't move out of the way… he got clobbered by car after car until he ended up head-on into a wall. Of course that killed the car for good, but also saved my sanity.

You remind me of the local speedway that runs a 'demolition derby' a couple of times in the season. It is the last event of the night on the dirt oval for obvious, 'clean up the mess and bury the dead' reasons!

Cars with a range of vintages, and like yourself, transport from previous encounters, assemble in a starting pack around 40 cars. The 'rules' one lap forward and then the rest of the race in reverse, (greater ramming opportunities), with the last one circulating to be classed as the winner. Station wagons of the 70's are great steads, with lots of steel out back and can suffer great damage before getting to the back axle / suspension.

And like your Mr Magoo, there are the crowd favourites ... except for those that circulate (in reverse) and hide behind the wrecks, hoping to last to the end. The crowd usually scream and point to help the brave and reckless use 'GM selection' to eliminate the 'scaredy cats'! And a bit like yourself, but with the leisure of time, the patch-ups happen, a little more illegal concrete is added to the trunk and the external crumpled body panels get another lick of paint.

A class favorite for the banger races Mk2 Granada I had a c-reg mk 3 that had 4 wheel drive...lots of fun racing around the paddocks after midnight : )

Drew K

Talking of 'class favourites', I grew up in the Beetle and Mini eras. My nephew was of the Mitsubishi Sigma class. There must have been around 8 or 9 circulating with him in his students days. (As a helpful uncle, I towed it back at least once and replaced a cracked head).

But it was the midnight paddock burning that caught my eye. He and his mates were circulating one night in a dark paddock, devoid of obstructions ... except for the ONE TREE in the corner of the fiueld that collected someone other's Sigma! Magnetic attraction?

The person:

Being raised by the Jezuits, having had a little honda moped, followed by a vespa scooter, I served my country in the army after my parents told me that they were Santa Claus in my passed lifetime.

After the extra training, I got molested by a girl who French kissed me that intense that I went to the doctor to pregnancy test me. I felt a lot better after and bought a volvo 544 that served me well in dark places with female companions.

The event:

I sold the car 2 years later and the new owner came to my house with 3 panties that he claimed to have found under the back seats when cleaning.

I turned red- der- der than Red..... (sixth letter of the alphabet). It was also the end of my virginity I guess. I am still naive though.

LOL.
It reminds me of a TV interview with some kids talking about playground rhymes and games.
They asked this little girl about the meaning of the skipping rhyme...

'Rah rah, lost my bra. Left my knickers in my boyfriends car'

She though for a bit and said.
Well she's probably been to her ballet lesson and left her kit bag in his car...
Delightfully innocent
Del

Here is a short survey with two simple questions about car door locks and steering locks that I would appreciate as many as possible answering, as that will improve the accuracy of the infos.

Thanks in advance.

The aim is to especially identify any cars with possibly dangerous mechanisms with regard to the steering column ignition lock that could cause, in the example of an engine "runaway", a possible crash situation (Q2).

Q1 is just for me personally interesting, no great danger there....

Q1) Have you ever owned or driven a car, anywhere in the world, that you could lock the doors when they were open, and cause them to stay locked when closed with the button/mechanism on the outside of the door held activated? e.g. you can lock the car without the key if you so wanted. We have many in Europe that allow this to be done, does the USA have such mechanisms also?

Q2) Have you ever owned or driven a car, anywhere in the world, that you could cause the steering column lock to fully activate (not possible to move the steering wheel), after driving with the engine running and then switching the ignition to the OFF position, BUT NOT REMOVING THE KEY FROM THE IGNITION AT ANY POINT? I personally have never ever seen or driven one like this.

Please post here with make, model and year if possible marked as Q1 or Q2. Plus any personal thoughts you have.

Thanks in advance.

My car doesn't have a key.... but I'm sure you've heard my rants before.
Out of interest, I'm just getting back on the road after a year's lay off for health reasons. Got it MOT'd yesterday, it passed, but the bloke said... " You have 3" of water in the boot" . I fixed it this morning, there is a seam which opens up if you sneeze at the back of the car, the lower panel overlaps the upper, so it directs the water into the boot obviously designed for manufacture rather than waterproof-ness. A good load of non setting mastic should do the job.

I checked where the leak was by drying it out and sprinkling talc inside... car now smells nice too.

Del

What car model is that? and how does the steering lock function? Or maybe it has none?

I had many years ago a work colleague that bought a secondhand Triumph Stag, nice looking car, but I have never driven one myself.

On a rainy day he took his then brand new girlfriend (to impress her!) with his new to him car, on a skiing holiday to Scotland from the London area.

The car ran slower and slower the further they got, having to change down to 1st & 2nd gear for some steeper hills, thoughts of major engine problems = BIG MONEY!!

When they removed their luggage from the huge boot (trunk for the USA) they found it full to the brim with rainwater, possibly almost 2 tons when calculating the volume he told me.......a hole was rapidly put in the base of the trunk which brought all the missing "Horses" back!!!! Happy again!!

I was unable to find out the luggage area volume to find out if 2 tons was even possible or not, maybe someone else has this data paratus!

Nissan Micra.. The "intellikey" system is the most inappropriately named thing ever.
It has so much poorly designed electronics it flattens the battery if used on short runs.
I've ended up with 2 batteries, one kept on constant trickle. I swap 'em over at the first sign of trouble... like when it won't let you lock the doors because it thinks you haven't switched off the ignition.
While it's been off road I also cleaned up some of the wiring earth points to try and stop this bonkers behaviour. Also fitted a decent push button switch into the boot lid rather than the one that costs a fortune and lasts 13 months.
Del

My 2010 Suzuki Grand Vitara Limited has a roof cabin light over the cargo area that goes on while making left turns on CO mountain switchback roads at 8-9000 feet altitude but not when making right turns. Are those enough variables for you? It immediately goes back off after the turns and works normally when the car is still.

Damaged wiring, touching frame?

Can Ford Pinto stories be accepted without ending with an explosion and fire?

Yikes...is this crap still floating around...?

A lot of people really liked the Ralph Naders of the world.

Exploding Ford Pintos are hype.

In a summer 1991 Rutgers Law Review article Gary Schwartz demolishes "the myth of the Pinto case." Actual deaths in Pinto fires have come in at a known 27, not the expected thousand or more. More startling, Schwartz shows that everyone's received ideas about the fabled "smoking gun" memo are false. The actual memo did not pertain to Pintos, or even Ford products, but to American cars in general; it dealt with rollovers, not rear-end collisions; it did not contemplate the matter of tort liability at all, let alone accept it as cheaper than a design change; it assigned a value to human life because federal regulators (the NHTSA), for whose eyes it was meant, themselves employed that concept in their deliberations; and the value it used was one that they, the regulators, had set forth in documents ($200,000).

Pintos ended up being one of the safer cars on the road.

People grew up hearing this, do jaded research and come up with the same conclusions and even moreso apply today's standards and knowledge to the design of the Pinto. Yeah, duh, cars today are safer...but the engineering of automobiles has changed significantly.

====digression====

Ready for this, aged CR4'ers? The period statistics show that the Chevy Cavalier ended up being 50% more hazardous than the (at the time) comparable Ford Taurus.

Who would've thunk that?