Well it had better be bullet proof I can say that much.

I got screwed by that naughty and nice list far too many times while I was still a good little boy while seeing too many of the selfish greedy lying little brats I had for classmate get loads of cool stuff dumped on them by Santa.

I'm gunnin for you fat man and I love the taste of deer jerky too!

they asked johny and peter what they did at home for xmas and they both said they sang x carrols and hang socks at the chimeney , then they asked david and he said he waited for dad to get home from the toy fsctory in his rolls and the went to see the empty of toys rooms at the factory and sang o what a good friend we have in christ and flew to the bahamas

Yea I know there is no Santa and it all came down to my parents just being cheap asses. They where not anywhere near as poor as they pretended to be.

Living in poverty due to circumstance is not bad thing nor is anyones fault but living that way because you are just really cheap certainly is.

Here's for you.

Is this guy your dad?

No clue who he is but the girl in Kramarats picture has a very pleasant resemblance to my wife or the wife has a very pleasant resemblance to her. Either way you know I am grinning about that part!

Not to be picky......but a couple of small insignificant things come to mind with that bike. It would appear that if one was to sit on it and had mass/weight in the Santa realms then the bikes chassis would be one with surface its meant to cross. (Perhaps that is why Miss CLaus with her petite sizing isn't sitting on it either.) The other is, if it could get going in the snow or any other type country would it furrow its way round?

_{(It lies down to park)}

There's a bike there?

Are you an engineer? - can you not see the whole picture? Even the hidden detail?

I see what I choose to see.

Good choice!!

I took a closer look, and I don't see a kickstand. My guess is that the rear suspension is fully adjustable for different terrain/rider weight, and they've lowered the frame straight to the ground so Miss Claus doesn't have a tumble. The clue being, that the rear fender is not mounted to the frame, which is typical, but is mounted to move independently along with the positioning of the suspension bars. As far as getting through snow....................Santa's magic.

Santa doesn't really need a car. Or motorcycle. Heaux Heaux Heaux.

All Santa needs is a little of Cheech and Chong's magic dust.

A little for Santa, a little for the reindeer, a little more for Santa, a little more for Santa............

clickable

Seems obvious

A one-horse eight-reindeer open sleigh, of course!

Requirements analysis of what Santa would drive.

Assumptions:

There are two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378 million according to population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.

Analysis:

Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the vehicle and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc.

This means that Santa's transport is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest manmade vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second.

Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), this vehicle is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight.

Specfications of what Santa would drive.

321,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance -- this will heat up a vehicle in the same fashion as spacecraft reentering the earth's atmosphere. The front of this vehicle will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Consequently, the vehicle will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his vehicle by 4,315,015 pounds of force.

Conclusion:

If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now. Recommend the question be re-worded as "What DID Santa Drive?

I think perhaps Kramarat has nailed it - Santa is magic and we all know Magic Happens or as I say the proverbial Happens!.

Any way I follow the train of thought that Santa has mastered time travelling. (It keeps me somewhere......young I think)

santa is not dead he is preparing logistics for the 3dimensional printers deliverin systeso everybody with a 3d gets his toys on time.

Sounds like you've hit the sauce already. Good on ya!

Sweet concept.

With 3D printing we could have our gifts emailed to us.

you would skip DHL AMAZON UPS and others , as you know our wines are the best of the world at reasonable prices here in CHILE merry xmas