Process Turns Icky Jellyfish Into Super Absorbent Paper Towels

I dislike the tone of the article. Icky? Stinky? WTF they are creatures... I expect they find us a tad peculiar, but they don't want to mince us up int o paper towel.
Or may be they do?

Del

Oh I can think of a good number of people that aren't worth their weight in paper towels that should be ground up and turned into something useful like Jellyfish food.

Recent story-worthy incidents, or just neighbor problems again?

I don't mean to take pleasure from your miseries and frustrations, but if you were to fictionalize some of the experiences you've shared with us here, you just might be able to return the sit-com to relevance in the TV landscape, finally dethroning the schlock that is 'reality TV.'

Someone here where I'm at did that and it was a huge hit.

Ever hear of Duck Dynasty?

Someone here where I'm at did that and it was a huge hit.

Ever hear of Duck Dynasty?

The site hosting the article looks to be similar to Wired: Whiz-bang 'breakthroughs' told in sensationalist ways to excite the target audience.

"'Fair, balanced reporting,' 'Avoiding weasel words' What means these phrases?"

Live jellyfish don't stink. At least none of the ones I've ever encountered. They are remarkable creatures really. There are not many creatures in this world that you can see through. Especially of that size. They are no ickier than a bowl of Jell-O and yet people eat that every day. Even Bill Cosby was a big fan of Jell-O.

"Even Bill Cosby was a big fan of Jell-O."

And the Understatement of the Year award goes to .... Brave Sir Robin.

Runner up is the United Kingdom, for their talk about 'that trouble with the colonies a while back.'

I was beginning to wonder if anyone was old enough to remember those commercials.

The heading ...

'A Newly-Developed Process Needlessly Turns Ocean Creatures into Landfill (psst: hooray for Homo Sapiens)'

... might be more apropos.

Funny. For some reason, I thought they were already being used for feminine napkin products...

You must be thinking of KY-Jellyfish (not to be confused with the Millennium Edition Y2K-Jellyfish, now a collector's item).

Actually, I didn't know there were any jellyfish in Kentucky.

If they want to start a new plant in the USA I'll recommend Barnegat Bay in New Jersey. We're getting a lot of nettles and stinging jellyfish every summer thanks to the Canada Geese and all their poop washing into the rivers and the Bay increasing the algae blooms.

So, lemme get this straight: are we talking about Twice As Absorbent! Select-A-Size! Bounty (tm) (Now Vicariously Made with REAL ORGANIC Canada Goose Poop!)

What's next I wonder? Tampons made from Portuguese Men O' War? Box jellyfish? Sea cucumbers? MORAY EELS?

Please- make something from the Canada Geese!!

Now I may be wrong (wouldn't be the first time), but I don't think the FDA allow battery-powered stuff In There.

No, wait ...

This weird looking thing is a crown jellyfish.....

See the movie....

Scary version...