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Caption This for 7/20/2018

Posted July 20, 2018 4:45 PM by MaggieMc

Here's this week's image:

As always, send us your funny photos! Thanks to SolarEagle for this week's submission.

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#1

Re: Caption This for 7/20/2018

07/20/2018 4:55 PM

So after I was fired as a wood chipper attendant, I became a pirate!

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#11
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Re: Caption This for 7/20/2018

07/20/2018 8:44 PM

That reminds me...I met a pirate with a wooden leg, a hook for a hand, and a patch over his right eye. I asked him, "What happened to your leg?"

"A shark got me leg."

And what happened to your hand?

"A barracuda bit me hand off."

And your eye? What happened to your eye?

"A gnat flew into me eye."

A gnat???

"It was right after I got me hook."
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#12
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Re: Caption This for 7/20/2018

07/20/2018 8:55 PM

And don’t forget that he had a steering wheel poking out of the front of his trousers.

”And what about the steering wheel?”

”Arghhh, matey, picked it up in Zanzibar I did, can’t get rid of it. It’s drivin’ me nuts!”

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#2

Re: Caption This for 7/20/2018

07/20/2018 4:58 PM

How even though he was 6'3", everyone still called him "Stumpy"

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#3

Re: Caption This for 7/20/2018

07/20/2018 4:59 PM

Log jam + foot jam = many trips to the doctor

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#4

Re: Caption This for 7/20/2018

07/20/2018 5:00 PM

I've tried everything I can think of to get this working...I guess you can say I'm stumped!

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#5

Re: Caption This for 7/20/2018

07/20/2018 5:03 PM

How's the new hire doing?

Well, we did ask for someone with limb cutting skills...

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#38
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Re: Caption This for 7/20/2018

07/26/2018 2:25 PM

He was trying to fix a jam and went to pieces!
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#39
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Re: Caption This for 7/20/2018

07/27/2018 5:01 AM

He was trying to fix a jam, and, now he is jam.

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#6

Re: Caption This for 7/20/2018

07/20/2018 5:24 PM

Here's blood in your eye!
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#7

Re: Caption This for 7/20/2018

07/20/2018 5:47 PM

Average intelligence of the planet is about to increase.

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#8

Re: Caption This for 7/20/2018

07/20/2018 5:49 PM

I'll show these corns who's boss!

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#9

Re: Caption This for 7/20/2018

07/20/2018 6:10 PM

Some guys whistle while they work.................hmmmm.................I kinda like to sing little jingles......................ummmm....................."Momma's little baby love's shortnin' shortnin' "................Uggghhh!.................Yousa--Yousa!!!!
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#10

Re: Caption This for 7/20/2018

07/20/2018 7:18 PM

It was clearly his fault. He tried to sue the company, but he didn't have a leg to stand on.

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#13

Re: Caption This for 7/20/2018

07/20/2018 9:00 PM

It's that kind of a job, if you wont to get a leg in, you got to do the right thing?
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#14

Re: Caption This for 7/20/2018

07/20/2018 10:22 PM

Foot loose and fancy free.

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#15

Re: Caption This for 7/20/2018

07/20/2018 10:46 PM

Jasper Tries to Unjam the Chipper

A second later all that was left was a Jasper skull and a tea(brown) chert. SE has the relics.

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#16

Re: Caption This for 7/20/2018

07/21/2018 12:11 AM

This gives me cold chills. I see nothing funny about it. There was a man in my town a few years ago who was sucked into a chipper because the safety switch on the platform had been bypassed. I don't even see a platform here.

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#17

Re: Caption This for 7/20/2018

07/21/2018 1:08 AM

Safety First!

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#18

Re: Caption This for 7/20/2018

07/21/2018 3:10 AM

I'll unstick that damned thing!
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#19

Re: Caption This for 7/20/2018

07/21/2018 4:20 AM

...because the warning sign said, "Do Not Put Hands In Machine."

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#20

Re: Caption This for 7/20/2018

07/21/2018 8:46 AM

Is this a continuation from last week; use the right tool for the right job?

I would say that he should use his head. But, someone might take it the wrong way.

So I'll just say that when somebody says, "This job is a real meat-grinder.", don't dismiss it as a metaphor.

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#21

Re: Caption This for 7/20/2018

07/21/2018 10:42 AM

This is how one fixes stupidity.

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#22

Re: Caption This for 7/20/2018

07/21/2018 10:47 AM

Deleted scene from the film ‘Fargo’.

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#23

Re: Caption This for 7/20/2018

07/21/2018 3:50 PM

The old saying: "Put your best foot forward" wasn't mean't to be synonymous with: "Give it an arm & a leg!" Exactly what this fool is tempting!
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#24

Re: Caption This for 7/20/2018

07/21/2018 11:22 PM

This how to "kick start" this thing. NOT!

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#25

Re: Caption This for 7/20/2018

07/22/2018 7:21 PM

Recycling the old wooden leg....

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#26

Re: Caption This for 7/20/2018

07/23/2018 5:04 AM

Tele-transporter technology as reimagined by the Society of Arboreal Engineers?
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#27

Re: Caption This for 7/20/2018

07/23/2018 6:28 AM

"Oh hokey cokey cokey....."

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#28

Re: Caption This for 7/20/2018

07/23/2018 10:23 AM

A new, literal take on "manspreading".

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#29

Re: Caption This for 7/20/2018

07/23/2018 11:31 AM

They told him not to do it, but Stumpy was determined.
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#30

Re: Caption This for 7/20/2018

07/23/2018 11:34 AM

Kind of a messy way to get himself into the back of that truck.

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#31

Re: Caption This for 7/20/2018

07/23/2018 11:39 AM

I hope he lets go of the shovel. The undertaker will need it to scoop him into the coffin.

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#32

Re: Caption This for 7/20/2018

07/23/2018 11:41 AM

His magic act was going so well.

He could instantly disappear into a pink cloud.

Simon Cowell asked how he could step it up next week.

They couldn't find him to get an answer.
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#33

Re: Caption This for 7/20/2018

07/24/2018 2:01 AM

You put your right foot in

You put your right foot out

You do the hokey pokey...
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#35
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Re: Caption This for 7/20/2018

07/24/2018 10:59 PM

"You put your right foot in

You put your right foot out"

Only if the machine is not running

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#34

Re: Caption This for 7/20/2018

07/24/2018 10:04 AM

An obvious case of murder-suicide where Henry forgot the rules. His last words were " Stop laughing Lois, you're next!!!"

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#36

Re: Caption This for 7/20/2018

07/25/2018 10:59 AM

Hey BillyBob... I think my boots are made from cat hide, I just heard one go MEEEEOWWW!!!

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#37

Re: Caption This for 7/20/2018

07/26/2018 2:24 PM

Has anyone seen Joe? Last I saw he was cleaning out the wood chipper.
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#40

Re: Caption This for 7/20/2018

07/27/2018 7:29 AM

Meet our new employee, Seamus Levine.

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#41

Re: Caption This for 7/20/2018

08/02/2018 3:16 PM

And the next fad for millenials is the ‘Wood Chipper Challenge’

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#42

Re: Caption This for 7/20/2018

08/02/2018 3:21 PM

I used to be a wood chipper operator... then I decided to become a ‘Black Knight’ instead...

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#43
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Re: Caption This for 7/20/2018

08/02/2018 3:26 PM

Is "wood chipper operator" a synonym for "Shrubber"?

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#44
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Re: Caption This for 7/20/2018

08/02/2018 3:29 PM

“Ni....”

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#45

Re: Caption This for 7/20/2018

08/04/2018 11:36 AM

Whadaya get when you put a wood chipper in reverse?
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#46

Re: Caption This for 7/20/2018

08/06/2018 11:47 AM

"We need another Timmie."
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#47
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Re: Caption This for 7/20/2018

08/27/2018 4:45 AM

I've never seen this before, but it's hilarious!

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#48

Re: Caption This for 7/20/2018

01/05/2019 7:05 AM

The phantom itching from his prosthesis was driving him nuts. AH!Relief at last!

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