Friday Funnies: 10 Ridiculous Movie Technologies

#10 The Crotch Revolver -- Can you say "Recoil repercussions"?...sure you can!

There are SO many reasons why that is just WRONG!

Jim in the brainstorming session is thinking it over that not all ideas should be brought to the table.

Nevermind, the barrel is not connected to either of the cartridge carriages.

Just a piece of distracting junk, literally.

The movies have even more stuff that is totally unbelievable, but I will be nice and not even mention it.

Can you convert a bump stock into a sex machine? Inquiring minds want to know!

Actually the idea of a bump stock was invented after the inventor was having,... well, you know... ‘working out’.

The Star Trek transporter is ludicrous...

Re-animating an entire body made from dead parts, as Frankenstein did, is ludicrous...

Injecting a mind and consciousness of one person into the brain and body of a another person, or species, as was done in Avatar, is ludicrous...

Fully conscious, man-sized robots like DATA, C-3PO, and even R2D2, are ludicrous...

...but almost nobody cares, so long as they are important to the story, and the story is compelling.

Yes, but the correct wine (Llanno Estacado Blush, for example) may well cure a stomach queasiness, headache, and malaise all in one gulp. I call that a miracle cure, and it happened to me this last weekend.

Star Trek only came up with the Transporter for the simple reason that they didn't have a budget to build a shuttle set.

That tech caused more headaches for the writers than it solved, as they had to keep finding ways to prevent the heroes from just being transported back to the ship whenever they were in danger.

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Fun Fact: the reason the ST:NG pilot went all over the ship was to force all those sets to be built right away, so they would be available in the first season.

Bonus Fun Fact: That was also one of the reasons the Adam West Batman movie was made: so they could get a Bat-Cycle and Bat-Copter on the movie's dime, then use those props in the following seasons on the TV show.

Real Fun Fact: None of it is real. Especially the earth-shaking major problem solve in 30 minutes with character development taking up the other 30 minutes, less 30 minutes for commercials, oh wait, snap! this is instant problem solving.

I never said the fiction was reality, where did you get that idea? I wasn't even speaking "in universe," that was all behind the scenes talk.

The transponder was the most unreliable piece of sh** on the Enterprise. I wish I had a dime for every time I had to ponder just how to fix the problem, only to watch them take the shuttle down to the planet for the episode finale.

you should ask 'Scotty', I'm sure he'd help ya...

"he's giving her all he's got" - that is the short version of the episode.

Actually, the transponders were always working right, you never saw two ships collide because they lost track of where the other was, or saw a photon torpedo lock on to the wrong ship.

It was the transporters that were always malfunctioning at the worst times, so that the plots could play out as intended.

It's kind of amazing that the transporters were so unreliable when the food prep stations⁽¹⁾ in the galleys used transporter technology to pull bulk starches, proteins, sugars, water, and fats from the storage units in the lowest decks of the secondary hull and assemble them into reasonable facsimiles of fresh food, and they hardly EVER broke down. Then again it may be because the food preparation system was a hard-wired system, while the transporters were 'wireless' from point to point.

Notes:

1. Also described in the old Technical manual book. They had not come up with the name "food replicator" yet. Also, the system was connected to the waste disposal systems; extracting the usable molecules from the waste stream and from the dirty dishes⁽²⁾.
2. Just as the food was being replicated from stored patterns using bulk media, the dishes and utensils were also being replicated fresh for use and dissembled back into bulk media afterwards⁽³⁾.
3. Yes that took more energy than just washing them, but nobody said that shipboard life was perfect. I believe that the reasoning behind it was space savings: with the dishes stored as bulk media, there is no 'wasted space' for half-empty cupboards in each galley.

Two letters let me down. Now I have one tear in my eye, but I will be up in stitches in no time. I had intended to type transporter, not transponder.

This conversation tripped my curiosity this technical manual you talk about... is it available?

Quick search on Amazon says yes:

https://www.amazon.com/Fleet-Technical-Manual-Franz-Delete/dp/0345270509/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1510933678&sr=8-3&keywords=star+fleet+technical+manual

Quick search on Amazon says yes:

sorry,.. I could have done that...

OMG- Amazon is telegraphing all our new tech overseas.

Jimmy, you found the leak, good job.

I didn't know that,... but I guess it was easier to solve physics on the set such as the heisenberg uncertainty principle with the Heisenberg compensator for the transporter to work.

The Heisenberg Compensator first showed up in the Start Trek Technical Manual book.

That was one of the 'technical drawings' that was done to answer the questions of observant fans, "How can they disassemble something at the molecular level and put it back together again without knowing the position AND velocity of the atoms? Heisenberg's Uncertainty principle proves that the core function of transporter technology is impossible to achieve."

When the fans bought the book and looked over the drawings, they then asked "So how does the Heisenberg Compensator WORK?" To which the show writers responded "It works very well, thank you."

Or does the "Heisenberg Compensator" prove that there is no Heisenberg Uncertainty at all?

At least in one atomic model that solves atomic lines for the first 20 elements, the HUP is discarded in its entirety.

The Heisenberg Compensator was specifically to compensate for the Uncertainty principle.

It solves atomic lines for the first 20 elements? That's a good start. Can it solve the atomic lines for the next 20? Or do we need a more complete and refined atomic model to go further?

No, that is all they worked out so far. I meant to say it explicitly solves all electronic energy states for the first 20 elements as atomic and many of the ionic states as well.

The Bohr model only works for hydrogen atom, and helium ion. The rest of the energy states were worked out with quantum physics combined with a very complicated perturbation theory that builds on each previous solution, and none of those are explicit solutions. I would not discount the thing just yet, although most of the physics community poo poos this idea.

No, the "Heisenberg Compensator" was address to support a working transporter was feasible for the series, as mentioned earlier for the observant fans.

It didn't have to solve it by showing the work how because its the future,.. it only had to show that the issues was address and mediated.