Artificial Turf for Residential lawn

The funeral undertaker make use of artificial grass. But it is the last person I am going to do business with.

An undertaker is likely the last person anyone will do business with. At least on this side of River Styx.

Gosh, that will come as a total surprise to Hendrik.

I have nothing to do with Undertakers (give me a few years more I hope) normally, but what have you Guys got against them????

I even know a couple, you would not guess their profession from just meeting them....they are also Carpenters in my case......Jesus was too I believe!! They built my new fireplace/Mantlepiece last year!!

You could try searching the internet for "artificial turf" or checking with these folks.

Thanks Bruce. Glad to see someone respond with an actual response that is helpful as opposed to some stupid comment about and Undertaker.

Glad to be of some help. But please do not make assumptions about the undertaker comment. Hendrik has been a fountain of knowledge on many other posts in the past. He enjoys putting us all on. And we enjoy it back! But if you think he's bad, get a load of Del the Cat! Or Kris! And, of course, no discourse could be complete without mentioning some of the meanderings of our dear friend, Sparkstation, the great and glorious, glittering glimmering guru of CR4. Enjoy!

And if you think those guys are bad, we have a bunch more. There's Vulcan, Vermin and Stinky Pete, not to mention Blink, Anonymous Hero, Brave Sir Robin, Truman Brain and Guest. Ah, yes, Guest is the largest single contributor to our little forum and has received more accolades than any individual, save for our great and glorious, glimmering, glittering, glistening gleaming guru of whom we have referred to heretofore in a previous posting, one who hails from a country little known in the civilized world, far south of the equator and soon to be gobbled up by rising ocean levels in the wake of global warming...pity, he had such a nice sense of humour!

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I agree with you. Such comments against Guru are not good in taste. It was just a humor which should be enjoyed by all otherwise life is bagfull of misery. I hope Hendrick is not hurt by such comments. Hi Hendi keep it up your sense of humor.

We like having fun on CR4, stop being so staid!!!

Hi, KoBender,

Don't know where you're from, but given the state of the planet, unless your client has some very sound reason for using artificial turf, surely it would be better to advise them of some slow-growing, hard-wearing natural variety? Or is irrigation an issue where you are?

If you've already been through the ins & outs with them (and/or with yourself), ok; if not, please consider it.

Regards, John.

At least one local (Southern California) homeowner has incurred the wrath of his homeowners association by installing artificial turf.

He did so to reduce water usage, but the association is complaining that it violates some rule.

IMHO: I think it looks as good as most "real" lawns.

Try http://www.synlawn.com/ they made the synthetic lawn that I put in my back yard (the front is stone). It looks great, and it doesn't need watering; which is a good thing in the desert.

The only complaint I have is that it "looks to good to be real". Hopefully, someday soon, some manufacturer will realize the value of a little imperfection.

The home will be located in northern New York. We do not have a water problem, but the client does not want to maintain a lawn. Thanks everyone for the information.

I agree completely Steve.

Hey Hendrik, don't let the idiots get to you. We all appreciate you a bunch.

-John

"...I also think you owe my friend Hendrik an apology. If you are going to be that sensitive, I for one [of one] will be less inclined to even read your posts..."

—Steve S

Tsk tsk!. It's Guest again, here with rejoinder:

If Hendrik was miffed by the original, "stupid" comment, he is no doubt mortified by this latest....the solicitation of an (as yet unwarranted) apology by a purported coequal CR4 member! Could it be that Hendrik's absence since the "original insult" attests to his having taken KoBender's comment to heart: as a not undeserved, and not unneeded, lesson in tactfulness? Namely, his possible failure to allow that a relative newcomer to the boards--that's KoBender--might not yet be aware of the "customary" repartee...? Or of his own (that's Hendrik's) style of humor; and of others' acquiescence in same? Or that the "jump-first" reference to undertakers, without adding any substantive reply or emoticon, was anything other than an outright dismissal, made by old timer against newcomer, of the original question, either as to its importance or its meriting of an answer?

So I say, nay, leave apologies where they are deserved, or where reciprocal contrition has been forthcoming. And who's to say...that KoBender's comment was not, itself, just his own style of contributing "dead pan" humor to the board?

(I am wagering...what the response to this will be. As a hedge, I also wagered who it is who will accept the wager proposition.)

Ubiquitous Guest

this is a perfectly good method to reduce upkeep.

they usually set down some thick black polyethylene below the fake turf. This prevents light from reaching any seeds in the earth beneath and stops them from germinating and poking their heads up. above that is a little coarse sand for drainage and the fake turf.

the whole thing being rolled and levelled before you lay down the black poly, and the coarse sand levelled as well.

In a dry area you need to wash fake turf to get the dust off from time to time.

there seems to be a body of data on it.

drill here

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=astroturf+%2Blawn&btnG=Google+Search

Which of the attributes of real turf does your client wish to simulate? Turf takes in CO2 and gives off O2. It regenerates itself and provides a home for a huge number of invertebrates and other life forms which provide food for your clients garden birds. The variety of plants in a quality lawn provide seasonal variation and absorbing interest to botanists. If the client wants soft and green, carpet on a free draining gravel will do as well as anything, but it won't be artificial turf any more than a photo of a man is a human being. And Henry, my pony, thinks the idea sucks because he eats grass.

Which of the attributes of real turf does your client wish to simulate?

• or its need of continuous watering? and the purchase of accoutrements to watering?
• or its harboring of moths which will consume his woolen clothing?
• or its service as drop zone for neighbor's cats and dogs?
• or its demand for purchase of ever more expensive lawn cutting/maintenance equipment, or of landscape maintenance service...as the ravages of time takes their toll on aging client legs...?
• or its thirst for fertilizers (and x^®-icides) by the hundredsweight, and the contributions these make, as runoff, to riverine habitats?
• or its lessened ability to thrive in shaded areas?
• and so on?
• and so forth?

• or its harboring of moths which will consume his woolen clothing?

Do you know of any moths, the life cycle of which embraces both grassland and wardrobes (using the contents thereof as a food source)? As far as I know (and can establish from the web), the Clothes Moth would rather munch the artificial turf.

...if by "artificial turf" you means, as the earlier post-er suggested, gravel covered over with carpet, that's wool carpet, I wouldn't disagree.