Quieting Small Cars with Loud Exhausts

Hello Guest,

Use a common tuberiferous vegetable.

The one I have discovered is most suitable, which arrives in various sizes, to suit most exhaust pipes, is the:

Obtain a supply of Solanum tuberosum of the Solanaceae family, and a suitably sized one works very well up the offending

Lay in a good supply of the tasty tubers.

You can always eat the surplus, once the offending car exhausts have been dealt with.

WARNING:

Because such an action would be classified as "Unlawful interference with a Motor Vehicle", and if the owner/s or their friends ever discovered who had fed their car/s with the vegetables, they will be very unhappy, so it's important to take great care and thought, before performing such action.

Advise further, with

Kind Regards....

Great answer, Sparks!

Having applied S. Tuberosum several times in my misbegotten youth, I can personally attest to the efficacy of its sound dampening characteristics.

NOTE: If properly applied with a wooden or rubber mallet to an overpowered vehicle, there will be a loud noise (once), resulting from either a ruptured exhaust tube (for the rolled steel seam-welded type) or a blown head gasket.

Just remember to buy a large sack!

Thought I had was "Large Exhausts?? Use Baker potatoes!!"

Bill

Instead of a complaint about the noise call and complain about the pollution they are causing. Modification of the exhausts system will defeat some of the pollution device installed by the OEM. Where I live it's against the law to modify pollution devices. Noise is a type of pollution. Just changing the words may get some one attention in todays world of going green.

I suggest you go up to them at the traffic lights and explain that if you had a small penis you too would find it necessary to own a noisy car. (And then make a smart withdrawl).

Urinating on their wheels may help get the message across too.

Del

Kitty's might get away with that Del... but how do you bury it afterwards?

Christ! Just dump sugar in their gas tank no more sound ever!

Hello vermin

I'm keeping well away from the likes of ye.

Kind Regards....

Well, if a little is good more must be better,right. That can of spray foam insulation would probably stick reasonably well to the inside of that oversized tail pipe. Once the foam hardens there should be no escape for the exhaust when that wonderful person starts that annoying rice burner. The backup of exhaust gases will eventually dilute the intake manifold with exhaust gas causing the engine to have insufficient oxygen to run. Thus stalling the engine.....Unless the exhaust pipe has leaks. In that case the engine will idle fine, but have no power as the limits of the exhaust leak are reached.

BUT. as long as you are buying that foam. Did you notice that straw-like device that comes with it? Just the right size to fit between the door window and window frame.

Now I can't be the only one that has ever wondered how many cans it would take to fill up a Honda. Come on now.

PS. I never tried transplanting Mr. Potato head, but I have installed two drops of crazy glue into a keyhole. The key was inserted about a half hour later. Key went in about half way, then the glue set up and froze the key right there. The door knob had to be broken off with a big pipe wrench. The spud might give you satisfaction, but the crazy glue is very quick and easy. If you can't get it started, it will be quiet.

All of these things are illegal. No not do it! You do not need to stoop to breaking the law. You are too valuable here to get your butt in trouble over this. Lets all think of ways that do not violate the law that will allow revenge for this frustrated poster.

My advice is to petition for a city ordnance or just learn to live with it. If they see you messing about their cars (assuming they're out on the street), you're likely to earn a bullet for your troubles... Some kids today do pack!!!

just learn to live with it.

Very true.. didn't we all rev our machines when we were wet behind the ears???

Some of our esteemed members still like their noisy motorbikes...ah...but we like that sound!...Back to Spary's 'potato potato'

Del

Hello Vermin, A good answer and I gave you a GA for it. Vandalism against anyone's property is a crime.

According to the Los Angeles Times, one out of every four drivers are armed in Los Angeles. Provoking one of these drivers may result in our erstwhile vandalizing contributor's permanent removal from contributing to this forum again.

Here in middle America almost everyone is armed. Carrying a weapon is as natural as wearing a cowboy hat of which you will see plenty of both. Messing with thse "good 'ol boys" will get you shot so quickly "you won't even have time to holler" as they say.

An Easy Rider rifle rack is the most prevelent adornment any self respecting pickup truck owner buys. And you don't need to look closely to see several shotguns and perhaps a high powered rifle or two resting in these racks. In Texas, "he needed killin,' is a viable defense against fence cutters, cattle rustling, horse stealing and perpetrators of vandalism.

Vandalizing someone's car will probably get you killed in such pleasant places as Detroit, New York, New Orleans, Dallas/Ft.Worth, and anywhere in Los Angeles. There are probably easier ways to die but those of you avocating vandalism will find death interesting as you look into the the barrel of a .44 magnum held by a gangbanger or a 12 gauge shotgun held by an angry cowboy.

The best and most obvious solution is to complain to the local authorities starting with the Chief of Police and working your way up to the Mayor and City Council. If a car is louder than the decible limits allowed by law then it becomes a police issue which should be enforced. If there are no noise limiting statutes in the area then a citizens petition becomes the most effective method to institute such a decible limit.

Engaging in vandalism for any reason exposes one to direct confrontation with people who may have little regard for the law or have the tacit approval by the "law" to execute what ever punishment they see fit for the crime.

"Stupid is what stupid does" to quote a line from the movie "Forrest Gump" and vandalism is stupid.

Hmmm. You mean they actually have traffic jams in the upper Mid-West? I didn't think there were that many Conestoga wagons around!

I believe it was written for Sunset or New Jersey...and the point is "better to let sleeping lions lay."

What? Sunset the magazine or New Jersy the state?

Sunset the area , IE Malibu. OR COULD BE Dallas, Houston (MY FIRST PICK), Atlanta or even Miami.

Sooo. I'm guessing you mean rather than pushing a potato up their butt. Correct?

Correct-a-mundo

Can't be the Lehigh Velley. I think they all always have PMS with a tongue sharp enough to ...

I somewhat agree with you.Altering exhaust and emmisions systems are not good for the environment.What about all the Harleys with the thunderous noise.Busses,trucks,lawnmowers,construction equipment.Could I recomend earplugs?

learn to deal or petition to change the laws, most places have laws that limit the noise level to 95db. Aftermarket manufacturers know of these laws and make exhausts accordingly.

I personally have a high quality catback exhaust (DC sports). It doesn't replace the catalytic converter and even at 8000 rpm's it is just below 95 db. I replaced the stock exhaust when it rusted out. The piping is routed in a more straight path with piping that is about 1/2" larger in diameter. My mpg increased after this mod by 3-4%. The ones that you guys are probably referring to are the universal mufflers that cost $30 at Pep Boys and sound more like a dirtbike exhaust than a car exhaust.

It is funny how the people that complain about noise while there are 18 wheelers making more noise idling at a light and they are probably the same ones that grew up with loud exhausts on their cars (whether it was a GTO, Mustang or even an Austin Healy) when they were young and have removed the baffles from their Harley's but when a young kid drives by with an import car they suddenly turn into a curmudgeon.

There are people walking around on the street that are annoying when they talk, maybe we can jam foam down their throats so they don't talk anymore, because when I don't like something no one should be allowed to do it.

"There are people walking around on the street that are annoying when they talk, maybe we can...."

If only we could. jk

Careful, and put the foam in your ears then smile and nod often...please don't restrict them some may become great comics if let be (:

The noisiest vehicles seem to be those little 50cc mopeds that have to be revved like crazy to get anywhere.

Relax, take ten deep breaths and hold the last one, put on another Glenn Miller album and crank it up.

Deal with it!

It "sounds" like some of you spent to much time in your mothers basement playing dungeons and dragons. A loud car or bike is a right of passage for a young man. To this day, when I here a loud (sweet sounding) car pass by my house it reminds me of my irresponsible, care free, girl chasing youth. Between you and me, I find that there are more annoying people out there then there are loud exhausts. Is it just as illegal to stuff a vegetable in someones mouth as it is in a tail pipe? I am just poking fun, but you have to admit that the exhaust coming from a vintage AC Cobra just kills.

Very true, I've had several V8 engined cars with large bore single silencer exhausts. I would claim the excuse of youth but it's only about 4 years since I gave up the last one.

I'm sorry, but I am annoyed by whiners who forgot what it's like to be young. I'm not a fan of these vehicles either, but I put Cherry Bombs on my "66 Chevelle SS396 Sport Coupe when I was young. Still got the car but not the Cherry Bombs.

I can just about bet, that in a few years those kids will be complaining about 'kids nowadays'. Meanwhile, if they found spray-foam in their exhaust pipes, I don't think they will just lie down and take it. You may start something you can't win.

Cherry Bombs; Disturbing the peace since 1968.

I too am guilty. Allthough for me it's a matter of presonal taste. I can't stand the way a 4 cyl with a fart pipe sounds, but I love the sound of an unmuffled V8. My Z28 (5.7l V8 mind you) has 3" exhaust with race mufflers. So, I am sure I piss off more than a few curmudgeons myself. When am I going to grow up? Do I have to?

For me it is selective. I appreciate the sound of a big V8 with proper high performance exhaust, such as Borla or Flowmaster. I like that deep throaty rumble! What I do not like are the little 4 cylinders running around with 4" exhaust echo tips and tiny mufflers that make them sound like amplified gas powered weed whackers! The sound is irritating to me and I have a hard time understanding how anyone could possibly think that it sounds good. It's just a goofy bolt on attempt to customize a car on the cheap. It's like people who install massive hood scoops on their cars, but don't have a super charger under the hood, or people who have massive wings or tail valences on their cars and they don't have enough hp or torque from their 4 banger to even remotely justify needing that much down force. It's just silly! These are situations where I turn to my wife and inform her that "hey, that guy over there is cool in case you didn't know!"

have massive wings or tail valences on their cars .

I thought they were beer trays on the back

Like these?

Yep, all show, no go!

But they say that those wings are worth at least a hundered HP!

Yeah and you get at least another 50hp if you install curb feelers.

No, it's so their 'homeys' can push 'em when they suffer 'spud constipation'

Ya work with what you can afford!!!

Guilty as charged, I'd owned a Toyota trueno (corrolla gts) with a loud exhaust, my pathfinder (v6) has a loud exhaust, and my wishlist for the future include a yamaha v-max with loud pipes and a ford f250 with the 5.4 v8 and guess what? loud pipes.

Did i mention that i'm 34 years old with wife and kids?

the ae86's were(still are) sweet cars. I owned one but I crashed it. it is hard to find ones that fairly rust free. Mine was loud as hell too.

I would not suggest messing with someones car, with potatoes or foam or anything else. I'm sure you wouldn't want someone else damaging your personal property. However, if in the process of making all the noise they speed their car over a legally installed speed bump of the correct height and steepness on your street, it can be a very effective oversized tailpipe removal tool. They will slow down, which will quiet it down or just stay off your street. Of course that means you have to go slow on your street too. So, talk to the neighbors. Would they rather listen to the kids or deal with a speed bump?

if there are any of the old time paint manufacturing plants in your are ask if your can get a few pounds of the old grinding mill stone pellets.

slip a few on the roadway as the idiots pass walk away very quickly, hear the crunch of stone as the tires pass over them followed by rapid air loss as the tire ruptures. works better than any spike belt. doesnt injure people or the environment, sure ticks off the yahoos whose treads are avge. of $200./

'da ber

"doesn't injure people or the environment"

Did you see the thread on repairing motorcycle tires? Some of the people responding there seemed to feel that a sudden loss of air in a tire could lead to an ill handling vehicle. Would that apply to these vehicles also?

Yes, but not quite so lethal.

While not suggesting you do this, rammed potatoes work temporarily; yellow stuff more permanent. Beware, big noise = small brains and possibly guns.

"Gosh, Larry. I sure do hate those loud-car guys!"

"That's easy, Bev. Just kill them."

"Ya think so, Larry?!"

"Sure, Bev. It's easy. Here, take this guy!"

"Golly! Thanks, Larry!"

Just tell Eddie to do it.

That's a plan, but it will probably cost... And would you really want to owe Eddie anything?!

Then the Bev takes out Eddie. The trail is broken. Everybody wins.

Spraying insulating foam into the radiator fins sounds like a good idea to me. Or a fine mist of silver lacquer on the headlight lens. Maybe a thin bead of silicon grease upon the edge of wiper blade. A huge banner decal across the windshield may get attention. Could wrap a string with two washers around the axle so can contact when speed is slow, thunk-thunk is the Pitts. Or add a couple indiscriminate wheel weights for fun.

All this passive aggressiveness, ugh!

Introduce yourself and take em for a ride in a real hot rod or to the track or just ask em not to disturb ya! Stop being a chump...

ok that first part was scary man!! what have you been doing?

Growing up in general

What would you suggest? Any ideas would be appreciated. I would rely on the local police to give them tickets but they do not seem to be interested. I think there are state laws against such noises but obviously they are not enforced since there are thousands of them on the roads locally.

The police have priorities that do not include annoyance themes such as loud exhaust unless coupled with V8 which then can be identified as "exhibition of speed" but the 4banger does not equate.

If the police did get involved in annoyance type restrictions seriously then ticketing for failure to dim hi-beam lites in the presence of on coming traffic would be first on my list.

You can adjust your precept to eliminate the scenario from those things which irritate.

Remember many youngsters have been listening to 112db + audio systems producing low frequency bursts down to 32Hz and they think the exhaust sounds cool. You should pity them they will never regain the ability to distinguish nuances.

Try a different tact:

Educate young folks about the consequences of unprotected exposure to high decibel audio, and the debilitating physical effects of low frequency sound upon the organs and tissue of their body.

We didn't care when we came home with serious ringing for three days after a rock concert, what makes you think they will pay attention?

They are prepared for reality, they learn from our mistakes; weird eh?

"They learn form our mistakes?!"

What the hell have you been smokin'?!

"Oh, daddy! Please don't make me go to the rock concert with Billy! I ever so want to keep my hearing intact!!! As well as my virginity!!!"

Every kid in the World has heard that time-and-again, but they still go to concerts... Do you remember coming out of one and noticing how quiet everything was?

Yeah I remember but the audio systems today are far more accurate and the bass tones we listened to were of higher frequency 80Hz-250Hz. We had loud music but they can have damage at lower volumes due the capability of newer systems to produce the low frequencies accurately 18Hz-125Hz.

The kids I've talked to respond well if given actual detail instead of colloquialisms.

Their are low frequency audio devices used in weaponry ya know...

" respond well if given actual detail instead of colloquialisms"

My children do the same. Then they mutter under their breaths, "Ignore him he is too old to make any sense> He has no idea."

"themes such as loud exhaust unless coupled with V8 which then can be identified as "exhibition of speed"

So true, I have personally been sited for "exhibition of speed" in my Z28 and I wasn't going that fast. Not as fast as those fartpipers, at least. A V8 just sounds faster.

Pesonally, I think that "Exhibition Speed" is a Bull$#it citation anyway. But, that's a rant for another time ;)

Loud pipes save lives!

Amen!