makudrilldedeaba

Oofle dust

No, pirlimpinpin dust.

What to use for unleaded petrol?

Unlead.

Just make sure you blend it in an unobtanium coated pyrex beaker or the unlead may get out and start converting your pencils to oompaloompas

Nothing. You CAN'T convert kerosine to diesel, at least not easily.

Dingdingding... we have a winner!

I am dismayed by your reply.

There are two ways to do it

a) Use your light sabre and cut through its bonds. Then re-bond the hydro carbons.

b) Take it in a can and transport back in time when it becomes crude oil (be careful, or it may become a dinosaur or a tree, depending on its antecedants). Then re-distil it.

My mistake, I can't believe I didn't see that solution myself. Thank you for saving me from my vast ignorance.

Now that you've shown me the light I have to ask, could we use a similar process to turn lumps of coal into diamonds? Take your lump back in time, bury it, then come home and dig it up... or would this process so severely damage the worlds economy as to warrant government intervention? My time machine is on the fritz at the moment, but I'd be willing to buy a bag of charcoal to test the theory out if you don't mind driving...

Ah, ha! Someone's been going round dishing out OT's - and the finger points at YOU!

Even giving you the benefit of the doubt in #10 (which was not marked OT, but that may have been your unsubtle attempt to conceal your dastardly deeds), the only other posts not slated are those of DVader1000 (#6, which was in fact not OT), and your #5 (which was about as barmy as they come). So, my folically challenged friend, how do you plead?

Then again, Mr. Vader himself may be our culprit.

Whomsoever it may be, they should mark themselves inwardly down, having slipped up at #5.

An excellent deduction my dear Watson; however, you failed to note the marmalade stain on the couch which clearly indicates the presence of an Englishman...

Clearly no one but a fool would OT Vader who incidently seems an inlikely culprit for such small-mindedness as issuing OT's

I wonder if the childhood axiom 'he who smelt it dealt it' may not apply in this situation, hmmm John DG... or should I say Old Man Witherspoon the Butler!

No No Not me It is the Darth Vader who has to do it.

Or at least the Enterprise SCrew. Contact them for further details and the transportation charges for your package.

Blend it until there is a mixture containing 100% cetane.