Does Anyone Else Suffer E-mail Exchanges Like This?

Sort of. I did this one with a fitting supplier.

45: Hello, I need a part number for a (long description) compression fitting.

Technical sales: You can get that from our web catalog at www.......

45: I have that on my screen, but I can't read it. Can you just tell me?

TS: Why can't you read it?

45: You have a small crimson font on a dark blue background. I can't tell one letter from the next. Can you just tell me the number?

TS: We don't have paper catalogs anymore. You should use our web catalog; it was designed by a very prestigious graphics firm.

45: Yes, but I still can't read it. They used red letters on a blue background.

TS: Why is that a problem?

45: Can you read it?

TS: We don't have access to that site here.

I bought from their competitor.

Yeah...red and blue...anyone designing anything visual should know that can cause probs.
If you want a longer reply press #1.
If you want to be ignored press #2.
If you think we giveadamn press #3.
Del (I was going to do this reply in blue on a red background...but I could work out how to do it easilly)

I ran into crap like that, I had to copy clip it to MSword.

Been there done that. Had a long running battle with the local water authority, the PUB, over the use of harvested rainwater and treated & recycled wastewater for non potable use while at my previous employers. Emails all shortened & summarized for obvious reasons.

Me: Seeking approval for clients who want to use mix of treated & recycled wastewater and rainwater for non potable use, including flushing toilets.

PUB: Rainwater not allowed to be discharged into our sewers. It will flood our wastewater treatment plants.

Me: Clients don't want to flood your plants with rainwater, they want to use it as a substitute for potable water in such non potable applications such as flushing toilets. You should be encouraging everyone to follow their example to conserve potable water instead of being so obtuse.

PUB: Rainwater not allowed to be discharged into our sewers. It will flood our wastewater treatment plants.

Me: How much water goes down each time you flush the toilet? 15 liters? What's the difference between 15 liters of potable water and 15 liters of rainwater? How can 15 liters of rainwater flood your plants when 15 liters of waste potable water will not?

PUB: We'll get back to you on this.

Me: @#$%^&*!!!!

And so this went on for 2 years. I can laugh at it now, but at the time, I was convinced that all PUB officers think that their agency's name was a misspelling of pub, and all their senior officers spend so much time getting sloshed until they have no brain cells left intact.

If I hadn't already gone over to the Dark Side before this, I think this exchange would have tipped me over.

Lord Vader, your mistake was asking permission. Just do it and they'd never have known the freaking difference. People with such low IQ's don't deserve to have a say in the matter.

That said, around here, the sewer bill is based on the potable water meter usage. If you are using recycled wastewater/rainwater to supplement the potable water, obviously the two will be out of sync. So it is entirely possible that the real issue was that they had no way of billing you for the sewer usage under such circumstances. But instead of admitting that they would be shortchanged, they gave you a BS answer instead. Either that or you had an idiot paper pusher answering the phone.

Had a similar issue a while back with my previous employer. our office was in the city limits of Houston. we wanted to start doing high pressure gas (nitrogen) testing at our facility. So I gamely called up the city planning department and asked what rules we needed to follow. The guy wanted to know if pressurized nitrogen gas was flammable, he wanted us to have this huge elaborate sprinkler system installed. I tried to explain the difference between a combustible explosion and a explosive pressure release and I could tell I was talking to someone who was lucky to get his GED. And even then I think he was an Affirmative Action recipient.

anytime you expect pub to do something out of the ordinary

not so hilarious hyjinks will ensue

the plausible denieability routine works many times

"Gee we didn't know, we weren't following the rules"

another way to go is to find precedents, basically do pubs work for them.

nothing pisses off a bureaucrat more than making them get up from their desk & or think

nothing pisses off a bureaucrat more than making them get up from their desk & or think

You think?

to further expand you may have to do their work for them & even praise them for the work you did.

sort of a perverted pay it forward

Fluttery might get you everywhere. But they'd still rather you just did as they told you without getting anything in return.

3 weeks of running around to help you.......they must be exhausted.

Ooooh oooh, you tinker monkey.
Actually I was so stressed out, I almost took the afternoon off to play with cleaning up my new bandsaw.
Trying to get information from that country (which shall remain nameless but is the shape of a boot) is like getting blood from a stone.
Instead I took an early lunch, my daughter was home and she made me a big fry up and a mug of tea while I tinkered with the bandsaw.
That cheered me up, went back in the afternoon and did some good software...
Del

that country (which shall remain nameless

Now who's being a tinker monkey? You've named them elsewhere...

Most of my exchanges of that variety have been with the medical profession.

ER: Hello GP, I have these 3 symptoms.

GP: Here, go away and read this leaflet

Leaflet: If you have 2 or more of these symptom, you have this disease and should see your GP

ER: I'm trapped in some strange Helleresque Catch 22....

More recently my consultant tells me (in that condescending tone they must teach in consultant school) that he's sorted out a form of the medication that he's been trying to put me on for 2 years that I can actually take (I'm allergic to a lot of the non-active ingredients).

Con: I'll order an appointment with the nurses so you can be shown how to take it.

Some weeks later, ER on nurse's answerphone: Hello, I haven't received an appointment, umm, what do I need to do?

Nurses: Hello, thanks for the message. You need to call us to book, central appointments can't do it. When do you want to come?

ER: Ah! {date booked}

On appointment day, taken as half day holiday:

Nurse: Ah. Dr says he needs to check on the ingredients for you, so he hasn't signed your prescription.

ER: But he said....

Nurse: I'll get you another appointment with him

I've been round this three times now. If I were a horse, they'd've shot me by now

Ah, you have the makings of a Christmas board game there..._{KrisDel^TM hereby claim all rights to said game hereinafter refered to as 'the game'}

'Shake a six or go back to GP'
'GP has failed to sign your prescription, go back to square 1'
'You manage to talk to a district nurse advance 4 squares'
'You get a flash of nurse's cleavage (or suitable gender reversed equivalent) gain two health points'

Del

Great idea. You can name the game "The Sick Room", with the pun obviously on either you are sick so you need to see the doctor, or trying to see the doctor is making you sick.

Don't know if you have anything similar, but here in the US, we have a law about health information privacy (HIPAA). So, I ended up in the emergency room with a blocked urinary pipe (one of the joys of old age) and it was a Sunday and they were short handed and we were in the midst of a flu epidemic (since we have no NHS, poor people go to the emergency room) and there were several car accidents.

They put one of those little short gowns - you know, that come down roughly to your sternum - and propped me in about the child delivery position. As the ER got busier and busier, they decided I wasn't gonna die, so they pushed me into the hall - the hall next to the main doors - where I spent the next 13 hours. Being absolutely bored, I started counting the number of strangers who walked past me in that position. I figured close to a thousand.

That evening, as they finally found a bed for me, the floor nurse came around and asked me if I had read and understood their privacy policy.

Once sounds more than enough!!

I've had relatively minor problems; the doctor told me to drink loads regularly, especially tea and cranberry juice... Unwarranted dilution of the alcohol stream, you may think - but it's working (so far).

BTW, it seems to me that the only possible answer to the question would be "do you ever observe it?" (This regardless of whether you have read it or not - it may of course read "The term patient refers to our requirements for your behaviour. Neither your privacy nor your dignity are any concern of the staff or management of this establishment")

Fyz

Isn't that why the describe it as practicing medicine?

Can I please come back when they've sorted it out then?

Aha, you got the boot. I can manage just as bad in the UK.

But at least the booters will shortly send you some flowery e-mail advertisement telling you about the wonderful projects for which famous designers have selected their products/services. If you can't find a proper supplier, I recommend 'phoning their German agent.

Mrs. Rose Baby?

thanks for the back up with Gil

How would you like to provide that one customer service

de nada

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

You need to contact your relatives in Nigeria... They say that they have your part #'s, but first they need your SSN, mother's maiden name, and your checking account #.

Hahahahahahahaha!

Stan: I understand my package was delivered to your post office by mistake, instead of the one that I have a post office box with.

Post Office: Yes.

S: Well, can you arrange delivery to me?

PO: No.

S: Well, why not?

PO: We don't deliver to your street.

S: Well, can't you send it to my post office?

PO: No.

S: Well, why not?

PO: That's not our policy.

S: OK, how about this; you're 8 miles away. I can come by this afternoon to pick it up.

PO: No, that's can't be done.

S: Well, why not?

PO: Since you don't have delivery from us, we can't deliver to you.

S: Wait! I'll come get the thing! OK???

PO: No, that is not permitted under our rules.

S: Well, what can I do?

PO: All we can do is return it to the shipper.

S: What kind of )*^$! is that? You would rather waste time, labor and energy to send it back to the shipper and all that handling, rather than let me ride over and get it?

PO: Well, that's our rules.

This is a true story. No wonder the United States Postal Service is screwed up and losing money.

Now if that was in a civilised country you could slip the guy a 'drink' and problem solved.
It drives me mad these idiots who don't realise that the 'system' is supposed to help not hinder.
I like the old saying 'Rules are for the guidance of wise men and the obedience of fools'
Del

I'll toast to that Del. Hold me a seat at the pub, and we can discuss the fall of Western Civilization.

Del, I can relate but with a twist ... because I am in China, and most of my clients are "elsewhere", the email cycles are usually at least 24 hours.

Typical of what I face all too often:

Me: can you please send me the file for model ABC?

[next day] Client: I already sent that to you.

Me: I have checked my email records, and can't find it. Can you please re-send? (giving the benefit of the doubt to my good customers)

[next day] Client: I don't know why "YOU PEOPLE" can never get anything right!

Me: I apologize (words, sorry to say, often without real meaning at this point). Can you please send the documents to me for model ABC so I can validate the samples before we send?

[next day] Client: Just send your measurement data and we will validate.

Me: the information you request is attached

[next day] Client: I don't understand why "YOU PEOPLE" can never get anything right! This is completely wrong!

Me: If you can please send the reference data for model ABC, we will create new samples according to your detailed specifications.

<many more days pass>

[next day] Client: here are the files for model 123 per your request. We are now 3 weeks late on this project, how can "YOU PEOPLE" make up the lost time?

Me: Thank you for your data, however I believe the project was for model ABC. Have you changed your model number, or is this a new project?

[next day] Client: I don't understand why "YOU PEOPLE" can never get anything right! Your competitor has already delivered samples and quotes for model XYZ and we are completely satisfied. There is no need for further work on this project. Possibly we will contact you next year when we are ready to do the next series.

And my wife wonders why I come home upset

Kind regards ...

A commendable solution which is just about what we are trying to apply at present... (Although bear in mind this was posted as a 'discussion' rather than a 'question', which is why maybe someone marked it as OT....but don't worry about such stuff, just keep your head down and on no account search this site for 'bath breaking technique')
The original prob was slightly more complex as it was of the type...
"Can we have a part number for the roller carriage as used in ABC but with the roller type XYZ" ( which we have no idea WTF it's fitted in, but we know they exist because we've seen one!.)
We have at last identified a product with the required part in it, so in theory we can just ask for the part number of a spare roller carriage for product PQR.
However in the hypothetically boot shaped country this will probably just elicit a question in response EG. "Is this for a 4 or 6 pump PQR?" or "What colour trousers are you wearing today? etc..."
But at least I have purchasing (and my boss) chasing it...(I'm a great believer in delegating upwards)

Meanwhile I've found it far easier buying new parts to re-furb my recently aquired bandsaw which was made in 1998 by a company which is no longer in business!
Del

Left or right is it then?

Not an e-mail exchange. The story fits an exchange with the Benefits Agency a little while ago....some snotty JobsWorth....(mutter, mutter)

This was just part of a saga, where something I ordered got delivered to another site: the company had decided to subcontract its internal directory enquiries to another country.

Me "Can you give me the number for GOODS IN in Townesville?"

Directory Enquiries "How are you spelling GOODS IN, please?"

Geez,

And I thought it was just me.

Stu

I think you should try the ChrisDel bulls**t detector and eradicator but I understand that the prototype might have failed. Something about forming a black hole that would swallow the earth.....

I'll let the rest of you mark this as "off topic." Ladies and nuns first.

There is no need to resort to innuendo and sarcasm to get your point across. If you've got something to say, say it.

Yes I do. I work in that area myself. One time all I got was a sketch of an entire assembly for a rotating carriage for a machine that could have fit the description of any ratating carriage for any of our machines. It had an arrow pointing to one part on the sketch and they tell me they need a part number for that one piece.

I often times have to send to France for a part number because our parent company is in France and I send them technical data sheet for everthing I request.

In case any of you are ready for more of the same my daughter has provided the following link:

http://notalwaysright.com/

Del, not that it would help you in this situation, but in my past experience, trying to get someone in purchasing to think outside their small confined box is an exercise in futility. If you can finagle access to the inventory cage, more often than not you can the find the part you are looking for and read the PN off the bin it is in faster than getting a paper pusher to look it up for you because to them a part is a part is a part and they don't know one from another, it's just another number to them. Of course that assumes that there is an inventory of parts to begin with.

Del, the mistake you made was to let them think you needed one part number and they would interpret this as you might eventually need 25 of these over 10 years.

Give them a list of 15 part numbers and ask for price breaks at 10,000 pieces, 25k and 100k. The task would then be given to someone in importance and you'd get a bottle of vino supplied with the quote that would arrive within 24 hours.

Don't try this too often, just for the really important ones.