What Tools or Engineering Stuff is Santa Bringing You?

I've asked for a new laptop that runs XP so I can use the stacks of software I've got that won't run under Win 7 (even with the MS virtual machine or VMWare ). I'm not holding my breath.

Not stuff. Time. Enough time, in daylight at these latitudes, to grease the car's starter motor's important little places so that it works better, to chase down the open circuit in the electrical locking mechanisms, and to blend-in the resprayed paintwork into the pre-existing following the event that saw a tyre go through catastrophic self-disassembly on the way back from Scotland 22 months ago. That would do.

...to chase down the open circuit in the electrical locking mechanisms.

A thousand Quatloos says you won't find it this side of Easter
Del

It's a deal.

You should try working on a V12 BMW's electronics.... GEESH!

electrical manual is 900+ pages in .pdf..

What? No link to the "Central Locking Mending Technique" thread - How do you expect us to help?

That's so kind.

_{It's probably just a loose wire somewhere.}

I don't get what I want. I get what my wife thinks I need. Since she doesn't like me walking around looking like a hobo, I'm guessing clothes.

Yeah, I know what you mean...
I have a birthday over the hol and Mrs Cat said I need some 'new' trousers.
But I don't like 'new' trousers 'cos she'll say, "You're not going out to the garage in those trousers are you?"
I've got loads of trousers that are ok for work and plenty that have been down graded to 'scruffy' trousers (they're the bestest sort).
She thinks I need 'posh' trousers too.

Extrapolate same process for shirts....whaaaaa
Del
(If ever I wear 'new' trousers for work, that's the day I spill laundry detergent over myself while setting up a test)

They don't understand.

For me, there's some kind of twisted karmic joke associated with wearing nice "dress up" clothes.

Within hours of putting them on, I'll either spill something on them, get a flat tire, or something will happen that ruins the nice shiney look.

Shoddy clothes protect me from these incidents.

Little off topic, I needed New work shirts at work, so Sheila went to Walmart and bought 6-7 New shirts for me, Started at under $4.00 with the most expensive @ $7.00. Good deal.

I was going into work the next day wearing one of the new shirts. when she saw me, "Oh your not going to wear your new shirts to work are you?"

I replied, "I guess not" That day I bought (4) company shirts with the logo for $20.00 to $32.00 each. When she asked, I told her what the price was. ^{Yes, they are nice shirts though}

Would anybody here trust a wife or anyone else to go pick out and buy a tool for them? Highly doubtful?

I wouldn't recommend trying it either. You'll just end up hurting somebody's feelings when you go buy what you really wanted.

Shirts are good.

Sheila bought me Gift cards at Home Depot, she can't keep a secret! I had bought myself a Miller Mig welder about month or so ago..... I'm still happy.

I already bought her what she wanted, Smoker and a cheese cutting set...... She knows about it. Not only can't she keep a secret she's a nosey little pest. Atleast I don't have to wrap it. Gonna make smoked chicken breasts this weekend with it.

I am also looking at a tablet for her, that she doesnt know about, I can't decide. But I'm planning on to wrap it............if I can find a good hiding place.

I have an Ipad, But I may get her a android...

BTW, when I first met Sheila, in her garage she had a nice new craftsman tools..... Miter Saw, Shaper, air compressor....... She was really excited when I showed her how to use it...............wait, come to think of it, she doesn't use it anymore......... could it be she use that as bait......

Hmmm..............could be. A woman that comes along with tools or fishing gear, is a keeper.

Marrying material if they have a boat and know how to clean fish.

yup, she's a keeper.

never been married, but I usually heard that they have a tendency to forget such diligence after the ceremony!

tell me wrong...

I have tested this theory 4 times, first three got ALL the tools, #4 still proving that there are exceptions to all rules. If at first you don't .....

could it be she use that as bait......LOL.
It don't take much, a nice wiggle and an air compressor and gotcha
Del

The lonely women that frequent the dating sites should take note................

Post pictures of tools. The men will come runnin'.

. . . and food.

ahh. yes, Cherry pie....

Yeah, the first summer, I was helping her with the landscaping and her garden bed's, just odds and ends when I had the time, and I didn't think nothing of it, of which I enjoyed doing.

She was really happy, I mean usually happy. Later in the summer, closer to the fall. She finally told me, the work I did in the 3 month, I actually accomplished her two year plan.

Because I like an open lawn and with her landscaping this openings was disappearing, I then started to budget my accomplishments......... to keep her 'to do list' down.

My wife knows how to buy me tools, she has bought me a lot of great tools over the years. The only issue is, she also likes to use them and they are never where I left them.

On subject, I want a Bridgeport, 60" geared engine lathe, 8" horizontal surface grinder, 14" deep throat 3/4" band saw, 12" horizontal band saw, 12" disk sander, 48" brake, 48" shear up to 10Ga, New TIG welder, a huge amount of cutting tools, boring bars and the building to put it all in. That too much for Santa? Maybe just a little bit greedy?

AMEN!

Not greedy, and I noticed all the tools you mention are too heavy for her to leave just anywhere....I hope?

My main PC is a desktop unit that still runs XP, which I want to keep using since I've got some old programs I use for my consulting work that might not run properly in any newer or different OS. But the hard disk is nearly full, so I'm hoping Santa will bring me an external hard drive.

I've also got some old VHS video I'd like to put on DVDs so I'm hoping for a blue ray player/ DVD burner.

And just for fun - and to learn some electronics which I am only generally familiar with -- I've asked for a 'Snap Circuit SC-300' kit. (Fun for all ages!) These kits get rave reviews on amazon.

My evil twin has asked for one of those little radio-controlled helicopters so I he can torment my his dog and my his cat.

About ten years ago I bought my son an RC car that accelerated at what seemed like fifty gees. In a split-second it was across the room. That little car could move.

One day we put the thing in a 12" cardbox box on its side right in front of the dog's bowl and then fed the dog. He was happily chowing down we hit the throttle and that damn car came leaping out of the box at nearly the speed of light and right over his bowl. Chuy (pronounced 'chewy') literally pissed himself midair. I've never seen a large dog jump so high! I still chuckle every time I think about it.

Sounds like Chuy needs a lawyer.

Reminds me of the time when Mrs. Bendover and I were dating. We had gone to the local home and garden store. The wind was blowing from the south. There was a van with a snout poking out the slightly rolled down driver's window [leeward side]. I sidled up along side the van and had my face right beside the snout. The dog could smell me I'm sure, but couldn't see me because his snout was pointed skyward. I hollered out a "BOO". That dog ran laps inside the van, pee flying everywhere. Unfortunately, the van's owner saw me. I decided to become a lawyer after that.

HEY, THAT DOG WAS MY DOG IN MY VAN!

BEFORE THAT DAY, HE WAS VERY WELL HOUSE BROKEN AND NOW HE PIDDLES AT EVER LITTLE NOISE

That's some right hook you got there, champ. Your groin shots aren't half bad, either.

I've always wanted one of those Fisher Space Pens. You know the kind that write anywhere and on anything. Anybody have one that thinks they are as good as everyone says they are?

Yeah, they work pretty good but I just buy the refills and use them in my Parker pens. Significant cost savings plus a better selection of pens.

I did have one of those Space Pens years ago and it did work very well. I think it had a pressurized ink chamber.

But the only thing I use a pen for these days is writing checks.

Engineers generally use pencils, for making modifications to designs. I like the PaperMate Clear Point automatic pencil. It has a good eraser. Still has a defect though: the eraser adjuster should have detents so the eraser will not keep creeping back inside the pencil.

bandership

you write checks? I envy those of you who cling to the old ways.

PFR wrote: "you write checks? I envy those of you who cling to the old ways."

I use all methods at my disposal to produce the results I desire. Some have been used for a long time, some are quite recent.

For example; I use thermonuclear power to chill my beer. Thermonuclear power has been around for a long time and so has beer. Combining the two (with photovoltaics and Rankin Cycle devices) is recent.

bandership

I don't rely on santa to bring me anything.

In the beginning his track record with me was so full of failing dismally at getting anything right or remotely close to wanted or asked for that when I got older I fired his butt.

If really I want or need something I get it myself.

As a Hindu, Christmas is irrelevant to me.

Never pass up a good holiday just because of religious convictions.

Thanks for sharing.

May God grant you relevance

Santa often fails when it comes to bringing me what I want; but he has, several times, brought me exactly what I needed -- despite my requests for other things. This year, he is bringing me a GPS-disciplined clock with a 10 MHz oscillator output for use in calibrating other instruments. Santa seems to do much better when I find what I want on-line and all he has to do is have the UPS guy drop it in front of the door.

Not for me, but for those carrying guns, with replacement guns which would through flowers when used against children.

Was that really necessary?

My Dad was always a tool heavy guy (guess that's where I learnt it...)

One year, when I was young, I found a set of screwdrivers (straight/phillips) that were about 3+ feet long. He never used them, but I got them from Mom after he passed. I only used one once when I tightened a screw on a light fixture because I was too lazy to get a ladder!!

In many of my Customer seminars, I use this story as a tool....but a rather useless tool. To teach troubleshooting, use what is good, and forget what is useless! Sometimes it is hard to tell the difference - that is what makes us a professional troubleshooter........

An assistant to help me with the 6 new civil projects my company just got and the 26 old ones. This would have to be someone with heavy construction experience and knows environmental regulations in the following states CA, NV, AZ, NM, and TX. They will need to have their CPESC, CPSWQ, and QSD/QSP. Experience with Hazmat, MSHA, SPCC plans, and storage tank management.Or a device that can make multiple copies of myself. Either or would do.

Got it,

John Baker - One Elf........ Check

Thanks Santa. I do believe. I do believe.

Oh before I forget female if possible. They are similar to the ones from Lord of the Rings right?

I'm tempted by a kit which allows you to fit a carbide tipped blade to your angle grinder. Claims it will cut through steel up to 8mm thick.

For all the Aggies here (you know who you are)......Q: Why wasn't Jesus born in College Station?......A: God couldn't find three wise men and a virgin. Hehe. (Hook 'em, Horns!)

Coal!! Being a blacksmith, I guess it is OK to be bad all year so I can get fuel. At least that is the excuse I give the missus, though she is also a blacksmith so that means she can be bad too......

We Scots leave that for Hogmanay

Someone who actually wants - and gets - a lump of coal if they've been good! Now this is a first!

What do you get when you've been bad. When you've been very bad?

Propane? lol

How about Bow and Arrow?

I've just finished one for myself.
Yew heartwood sent over from Oregon with a Bamboo backing.
Del

Nice piece of of art. You are great artian.

Nice work, you should post it on instructibles.com

!'m asking for 70 meters of 3mm SS cable for my windmill pole, some wool socks, a first edition of any John McPhee book I don't already have, a couple of days alone at my cabin in the woods, and a boat. I'm not holding my breath on the boat. Merry Christmas, all.

Well at our age the wife and I usually just buy what we want! We do tell each other certain items that can be purchased without consulting the other person. But she is NOT choosing my new bandsaw, chainsaw sharpener, or car...oh yeah did I tell you I got a car for for Christmas! 2013 Prius v model 5. A great toy with lots of options. (and I bought everything online!)

What I really want is for some of you tightwads to put some stars on my thread...

They'd look V festive
Del

Done.

Now please organize me a Christmas fairy to go out in the rain and replace my duff headlamp bulb. Have the replacement H7, just don't like getting wet.

Too late - did it meself. Keep the stars anyway .

Well,, i always get new sweatshirts and keep old ones for shop and new for out and about, but somewhere along the line I forget to change out of new ones so the new ones become old ones and before long I am out and about with sweatshirts with holes or grease in them because I have no others without holes or grease. I asked santa for a 12 ton hydraulic press and new tap handle, among other things. probly get some sweatshirts..lol

I asked for a 21x3" diamond sanding belt to smooth down a patch on my concrete boat but at $300 I think Santa is going to pass on this one.

bandership

A 40 inch (1 meter) 3/4 inch (19 mm) drive breaker bar.

Comes in handy when installing the pinion nut on the differential when you have to "crush" the sleeve to get the proper bearing pre-load.

Also works nice when breaking the nuts loose on the wheel hubs of front wheel drive cars.

I figgered it was time to stop sliding a length of iron pipe over my 24 inch 1/2 drive breaker bar because at some point it will break.

I figgered it was time to stop sliding a length of iron pipe over my 24 inch 1/2 drive breaker bar because at some point it will break.

You think so huh?, until you realize that if your slide a pipe on your 40" breaker bar, you can really do some damage.

Why do you think CR4 gets endless questions about bus-bar sizing? Damage, damage everywhere!!! lol

Heh, heh.

That's what I'm talking about.

Let's hope I don't have to go that far . . .

I used a 3/4 drive and an 8' length of scaffolding tube to release the last front bearings I changed. The scaffold tube is now 'hidden' for future use - it doubles as a fireman's pole in the kids' play area.

depending on how tight the wheel nut was on, I think you could have lifted the rear wheels off the ground with that set up.

More likely to shear the driveshaft. I did manage that some time after! CX

... that's why you make sure you're pushing down on the lever. (Also easier - and generally safer and more efficacious - to stand on it than to try to lift it).

I, when I was younger and had the Mach 1 on the road.. Torqued the HELL out of the lug nuts. One day at the tire store, none of the pneumatic wrenches could undo the nuts. They had to do them manually. After that it was explained to me that there is a reason for the torque lbs on the lug nuts. And thinking, OK driving 130MPH around that corner last night the wheel could have broke off. It got my attention. Hey, not new to torque requirements, rebuilt many a motors and trany's and rear ends in my day. I never gave much thought other than knowing how I drove back then, pulling 30G's around a corner. out running 3 state troopers and live to talk about it. ( that was 30+ years ago). My Mustang was fast. End of story, I no longer torque my tires like I did before. They have never fallen off and after millions of miles I am still alive and well. No need to over torque your lug nuts.

Agreed - I'm "torquing" about getting 'em off, not putting 'em on!

And don't forget a drop of oil on the threads to ease fitting. My brother learned the hard way: he borrowed my torque wrench to refit his whels after a job which had taken a couple of weeks due to wrong parts. He had been working outdoors, and it was raining most of the time. Wheels tightened to torque setting, and a day later found himself driving to work on three wheels!

But it was hub bearing nuts I was referring to earlier. On a Citroen CX, which is FWD, they are torqued to 350Nm (~260lb ft) when they are fitted. When changing them 20 years later, who knows?

I use the zinc-based anti-seize on my nuts. I never have any problem getting them off later.

Oh, stop making faces at me, you're the one with the dirty mind.

How about a Leica M, 24mp full frame, with the Summilux-M 35mm f1.4:

OK, I know Santa will not be bringing this down Brickie's chimney, but tiss is the season to dream....

OK. Now what about giving instead of receiving? Spousey is getting Rosetta Stone French levels 1-5, so that doesn't count, although Sis did receive a battery drill last year to yelps of great delight - never have so many holes been drilled, screws put in and shelves put up since!

i got myself this

as stress relief

I got my shirt and a nice lined flannel jacket. No engineering stuff or tools.

Guess I'll have to settle for the Eric Clapton tickets my wife came up with.

"Guess I'll have to settle for the Eric Clapton tickets my wife came up with."

I'm so jealous.

I got a set of screwdrivers - the ones my youngest found in a cracker last year! It's the thought that counts!!

A Yamaha YPG-535 electronic keyboard. It's been a while but I back playing.

It's funny when you don't do something you enjoy for awhile, one doesn't realize you miss doing it, until you start doing it again.

��

An unexpected gift.

At work, we are doing multiple expansions at (2) of our facilities, where we are pretty busy and spending allot of time at, the corporate plant engineer, my boss called me into his office and due our busy schedule we could not meet this past week because we were constantly traveling between facilities and apologized to me.

A little dumbfounded, until he hands to me a bonus check and says we usually give this out before Christmas, a nice bonus at that.

Totally unexpected, considering and interesting enough, just last night, Sheila and I were talking how thin our budget is due to the unexpected mishaps as of lately, because our water heater sprung a leak (2) weeks (Happened Saturday Afternoon, Week End Project of course) ago which we had to replace ^{(that was expected actually)} , and the past week we had trouble with one of our two Miniature Pinschers ^{(didn't turn out well)} , where we had a very large vet bill.

Again totally unexpected windfall and is appreciated.