Is Dark Mattter Really A Donut?

What does it mattter?

Ok I will check the link later.

Can you explain Relativity to me?

<...explain Relativity...>

Following on from the above patttern, it's just another donut.

So its not a grammmar mistake but relativly as seeen by the reader?

Relativity: It is not what you see, but how you look at it, and where you are looking from,in respect to what you are looking at.

Not to be confused with Absolutivity,which does not matter.Absolutivity requires an observer to be viewing our universe from an outside point of view, unaffected by time, space,energy, or matter.

This would require a God-like view,which some Zen masters(and some televangelists) claim to have acquired.

OK,,,, I think I have it,,,,but what about the sprinkles?

The "Sprinkles" are actually crumbs from collisions with other donuts.A microscopic analysis of the crumbs would reveal a fractal nature,wherein each crumb is composed of even smaller donuts,ad infinitum;Like a magnetic particle, where you always get a north and south pole, when you split a donut,you always get more donuts.

This also explains why they will assume a donut shape around your waist when you eat them.

At least, that's the way I see it.

Along with donut-shaped Dark Matter, there is Dark Energy which is making the universe accelerate outwards, so they need to find a cosmic fundamental force expanding everything, i.e., Coffee.

The same force that makes the universe expand outward is the same force that makes your waistline expand outward:Too many donuts.It is not the donut that makes you expand, it is the hole.

Seriously,the whole universe could be the inside of a toroid ring that is expanding, taking our visible universe with it.It may be that the universe is not being forced apart by pressure, but by a vacuum, a differential in "pressure" between our universe, and whatever lies beyond,so in effect, what ever is beyond our universe literally sucks.

All forms of energy would be bent around the curve,so we would have the illusion of a virtually infinite universe.If we lived long enough, and had instruments powerful enough when we looked out into space, we would see the back of the head of some guy peering into a telescope.

Well that's true; the center of mass of a donut is right where the hole is and when you measure its gravitational pull, it comes from the center. So it makes sense that removing the center of the donut removes the mass, and eating donut holes is what makes a person gain weight.

Krispy Kreme, here I come.

Since we cannot see outside of the toroid,that also explains why,when we develop a toroid around our waist, we cannot see our feet.

By the way, I noticed that today's stories contain an article to which I referenced yesterday about this subject of anapole matter.

Forget Krispy Kreme, Tim Horton rules!

But you definitely have a point about the gravitional pull of donut holes. My kids would tell you that they can feel the pull within a five mile range (of Tim Hortons, of course. Nothing beats a 'Timbit').

That's the Hole theory in a nutshell....