Previous in Forum: I Want to Take a Break but Nowhere to go   Next in Forum: International Cable Standarads
Close
Close
Close
10 comments
Power-User

Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 187
Good Answers: 9

Happy Australia Day

01/26/2014 5:13 PM

Just like to wish all those here from Down Under a happy Australia Day!

To those not familiar with this bit of Aussie history. Capt. Arthur Philips and his fleet of 11 ships arrived at what later became Port Jackson, on Sydney Harbour, and established the penal Colony of New South Wales.

How different are the origins of our two countries...

Years ago I visited Plymouth Colony, near Boston. It is an exact replica of the original colony and situated on the same site. About ten miles away is a replica of the original Mayflower on which the 'Pilgrims' arrived. Toured that, too. It was great fun.

Plymouth Colony is manned by history students and their professors from nearby universities. One of the rules is that they're not allowed to discuss any events after 1623 (the colony was founded in 1620 by Separatists from England). Americans today call them 'Pilgrims' but they were not so designated at the time. On the Mayflower I asked the 'helmsman' - a very colorful individual who swore a lot - what he thought of these 'pilgrims.'

"Pilgrims, you say! Ay, they're not pilgrims! They're bloody rebels!" was his reply. The whole thing was really quite entertaining. But I digress.

If you try to discuss any subject post-1623, they tell you they have no idea what you're talking about. If you persist they walk away, and so it's become a game amongst visitors to get them to acknowledge things and events which occured later than that date. I got one student good:

"See that butterfly over there?" He turned and looked. "Yes?..."

"No you don't. That's a European Cabbage Butterfly. European Cabbage Butterflies didn't arrive on this continent until around 1860. Look it up in Encyclopaedia Britannica. By the way, Encyclopedia Britannica was first published in 1768. That's about 145 years from now, hehe." He was so pissed he just glared at me and stalked off!

On the Mayflower were two ladies enancting the parts of Separatists. They were seated on a bench, sewing patches on shabby clothes and talking about 1623-era domestic matters, when I politely interrupted:

"Excuse me. Are you Separatists?"

"Well, yes, we are, and what about you? What's your name?"

I told them.

"What's your title?"

"I've no title."

"Owww, no title!" and then she loudly announced to the other tourists. "This one, 'ee's a pickpocket ee is! He's no title, not Goodman, not Freeman. Ay! Eee's a pickpocket! I'd stay away from this one, I would!!"

Embarrassed, I shot back:

"And what about you, dear lady? Here you are talking to strange men whilst your goodly husband is ashore with the other men, hard at work building you a proper home, and you! Here gossiping! What's your title, love? 'Tart?' I'd wager a bloody month's pay you've got fleas in the bargain, ay!" just as loudly. (all the original colonists had fleas. It was a fact of everyday life, even among the nobility).

"Well, I 'aven't as many fleas as Maaary!" tossing her head toward the lady next to her.

"Hmmph!"

I really get along with historical people.

At any rate, I'd like to wish our dear Aussie friends a happy holiday!

Register to Reply
Interested in this topic? By joining CR4 you can "subscribe" to
this discussion and receive notification when new comments are added.

Comments rated to be Good Answers:

These comments received enough positive ratings to make them "good answers".

Comments rated to be "almost" Good Answers:

Check out these comments that don't yet have enough votes to be "official" good answers and, if you agree with them, rate them!
Guru

Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: by the beach in Florida
Posts: 32862
Good Answers: 1794
#1

Re: Happy Australia Day

01/26/2014 5:31 PM

I'll respond, but keep your hands where I can see them....an accused pick-pocket and from a penal colony....G'day mate!...appy aussie day!

__________________
All living things seek to control their own destiny....this is the purpose of life
Register to Reply
5
Guru
Hobbies - Musician - New Member Australia - Member - Torn and breading Engineering Fields - Nanoengineering - New Member APIX Pilot Plant Design Project - Member - New Member

Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Magnetic Island, Queensland, Australia
Posts: 3721
Good Answers: 74
#2

Re: Happy Australia Day

01/26/2014 6:40 PM

An American decided to write a book about
Famous churches around the world.
So he bought a plane ticket and took a trip to
Orlando, thinking that he would start by working
His way across the USA from South to North.

On his first day he was inside a church taking
Photographs, when he noticed a golden telephone
Mounted on the wall with a sign that read
'$10,000 per call'.

The American, being intrigued, asked a priest
Who was strolling by, what the telephone was
Used for.

The priest replied that it was a direct line to
Heaven and that for $10,000 you could talk to
God.

The American thanked the priest and went along
His way.

Next stop was in Atlanta. There, at a very large
Cathedral, he saw the same looking golden
Telephone with the same sign under it.
He wondered if this was the same kind of
Telephone he saw in Orlando and he asked a
Nearby nun what its purpose was.

She told him that it was a direct line to heaven
And that for $10,000 he could talk to God.
'O.K., thank you,' said the American.

He then travelled all across America, Europe,
England, Japan, New Zealand. In every church he
Saw the same looking golden telephone, with the
Same '$US10,000 per call' sign under it.

The American decided to travel to Australia to see
If Australians had the same phone.

He arrived at Newcastle in Australia and again,
In the first church he entered, there was the same
Looking golden telephone, but this time the sign
Under it read, '40 cents per call.'

The American was surprised, so he asked the
Priest about the sign. 'Father, I've travelled all
Over the world and I've seen this same golden
Telephone in many churches. I'm told that it is a
Direct line to Heaven, but in all of them, the price was
$10,000 per call.

Why is it so cheap here?'
The priest smiled and answered, 'You're in
Australia now, son - "This is Heaven," so it's a
Local call'.

__________________
The Twain Has Met
Register to Reply Good Answer (Score 5)
Power-User

Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 187
Good Answers: 9
#3
In reply to #2

Re: Happy Australia Day

01/26/2014 6:44 PM

"...on Earth as it is in Australia, amen."

Great post and a GA. I'd hadn't heard that one.

Register to Reply Score 1 for Good Answer
Guru
Hobbies - Musician - New Member Australia - Member - Torn and breading Engineering Fields - Nanoengineering - New Member APIX Pilot Plant Design Project - Member - New Member

Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Magnetic Island, Queensland, Australia
Posts: 3721
Good Answers: 74
#4
In reply to #3

Re: Happy Australia Day

01/26/2014 6:55 PM
__________________
The Twain Has Met
Register to Reply
Guru
United Kingdom - Member - Indeterminate Engineering Fields - Control Engineering - New Member

Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: In the bothy, 7 chains down the line from Dodman's Lane level crossing, in the nation formerly known as Great Britain. Kettle's on.
Posts: 31431
Good Answers: 833
#5
In reply to #2

Re: Happy Australia Day

01/27/2014 5:23 AM

Hahahahahahahahaha!

__________________
"Did you get my e-mail?" - "The biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place" - George Bernard Shaw, 1856
Register to Reply
Power-User

Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 187
Good Answers: 9
#10
In reply to #2

Re: Happy Australia Day

01/30/2014 9:41 PM

After their ship sinks, two Aussies are left floating around in their lifeboat in the middle of the ocean. All of a sudden one of them spots an odd-looking bottle bobbing in the water and pulls it out. He sees sonething written on the bottle but can't quite read it, and so he gives it a bit of rub.

SHAZAAM! Out pops a genie!

"For releasing me from the bottle I will grant you one wish."

The guy glances at his mate, smiles and without further hesitation says, "I wish the whole ocean was beer!"

The genie claps his hands together and BOOM! A blinding flash and the genie is gone.

The guy quickly leans over and takes a big swig of 'water.'

"You're not gonna believe this, mate, but it's really beer!"

His mate screws up his face and says, "That's just bloody brilliant, mate! Now we're gonna have to piss in the boat!!"

Register to Reply Score 1 for Good Answer
Power-User

Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 188
Good Answers: 1
#6

Re: Happy Australia Day

01/27/2014 10:35 PM

Thanks cobber, bl--dy well appreciated.

You sound like a real decent bloke, probably originated in Oz.?

Rod. J.

Register to Reply
Member

Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 5
#7

Re: Happy Australia Day

01/28/2014 2:24 AM

We in Australia of my generation, many years, like to refer to ourselves as coming from selected stock, this has not been apparent in any other continent founding.

We love our OZ.

Register to Reply
Guru
Hobbies - HAM Radio - New Member

Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Vancouver (not BC) Washington (not DC) US of A
Posts: 1261
Good Answers: 12
#8

Re: Happy Australia Day

01/28/2014 7:53 PM

Happy Australia Day to those who are Down Under.

I have concluded that the job for me would be one where I would spend 6 months here in the U.S. (in Summer) and then spend 6 months in Australia (in Summer)... year after year. I doubt it will ever happen though.

Bill

Register to Reply
Power-User

Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 187
Good Answers: 9
#9
In reply to #8

Re: Happy Australia Day

01/28/2014 8:02 PM

Know how to bar-tend? Oz'll never turn down a good bartender - esp. one with a strong Bronx accent. (if you're not from the Bronx, fake it)

Register to Reply
Register to Reply 10 comments
Interested in this topic? By joining CR4 you can "subscribe" to
this discussion and receive notification when new comments are added.

Comments rated to be Good Answers:

These comments received enough positive ratings to make them "good answers".

Comments rated to be "almost" Good Answers:

Check out these comments that don't yet have enough votes to be "official" good answers and, if you agree with them, rate them!
Copy to Clipboard

Users who posted comments:

djr (1); Jacko the Aus (1); ky (2); PWSlack (1); Sciesis2 (1); SolarEagle (1); Theophilus Stark (3)

Previous in Forum: I Want to Take a Break but Nowhere to go   Next in Forum: International Cable Standarads

Advertisement