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Solar GPS Cow Hats Let Cowboys Stay Indoors

Posted August 08, 2008 9:01 AM

From The Raw Feed:

The U.S. Department of Agriculture and MIT are co-developing special cow hats that enable cowboys to stay indoors and track and HERD COWS USING A PC. The headsets power themselves with solar panels, and built in GPS units and communications electronics track and relay each cow's location back to a central server. If cows wander beyond a pre-determined area, sounds played by speakers in the device coaxes them back. If that doesn't work, electric shocks do. Mouse-wielding cow-pokes can also manually control herds by pointing and clicking. The first trials of the system will happen later this month.

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Anonymous Poster
#1

Re: Solar GPS Cow Hats Let Cowboys Stay Indoors

08/08/2008 12:48 PM

Step 1: Integrate electronics onto cows.

Step 2: Control cow motion remotely.

Step 3: Form an unstoppable cow army, safely led from my hidden bunker.

Step 4: Total world domination. Plus all the free milk I can drink.

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#2
In reply to #1

Re: Solar GPS Cow Hats Let Cowboys Stay Indoors

08/08/2008 1:05 PM

I'm in! Do you need a lieutenant?

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#3
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Re: Solar GPS Cow Hats Let Cowboys Stay Indoors

08/08/2008 1:06 PM

Wait! I have an even better idea. Can you do the same thing to lawyers?

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#4
In reply to #3

Re: Solar GPS Cow Hats Let Cowboys Stay Indoors

08/08/2008 1:14 PM

Fit lawyers and accountants with the "Lemming Collar".

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Anonymous Poster
#5
In reply to #3

Re: Solar GPS Cow Hats Let Cowboys Stay Indoors

08/08/2008 6:01 PM

I don't know about lieutenents. However, I could probably use someone to wash all the milk bottles. Deal?

And no, we can't do the same thing to lawyers. Two reasons:

1. Lawyers' central nervous systems can only utilize energy from the static charges created when money is yanked from wallets.

2. Their milk is unpalatable.

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#6
In reply to #5

Re: Solar GPS Cow Hats Let Cowboys Stay Indoors

08/08/2008 7:20 PM

Good points. I was just thinking of something we could use as a first wave. You know, there are just some things a cow won't do.

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#7
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Re: Solar GPS Cow Hats Let Cowboys Stay Indoors

08/08/2008 9:49 PM
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#8

Re: Solar GPS Cow Hats Let Cowboys Stay Indoors

08/09/2008 10:12 AM

Tinfoil hats should put a stop to the cattle mutilations - the aliens won't be able to control their minds anymore. And maybe they'll stop creating those damnable crop circles too! Some will require more foil than others, though...

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#9
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Re: Solar GPS Cow Hats Let Cowboys Stay Indoors

08/09/2008 9:53 PM

I like to make my aluminum foil hat in the shape of a pyramid. Double protection, and styling too.

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#10

Re: Solar GPS Cow Hats Let Cowboys Stay Indoors

08/10/2008 10:12 AM

Wait up till the cow butts something or a rival, that block of electronics will break and fall off!!! What a stupid place to fit it!!!

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#11

Re: Solar GPS Cow Hats Let Cowboys Stay Indoors

08/12/2008 6:50 AM

........so, instead of getting some exercise in the fresh air, the cowboys can eat fatburgers all day and drop dead due to obesity? Whatever next!

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#12
In reply to #11

Re: Solar GPS Cow Hats Let Cowboys Stay Indoors

08/12/2008 9:52 AM

Well its still better than dying of lung cancer like the first Marlboro man.......!

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