We Need to Discuss Things More.

Entry #1

It seems to me that what we have here is a failure to communicate.

Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn.

Seems to me that we have combined this post with the favorite movie lines post! IT'S ANARCHY DAMMIT!!

BITE ME! please

How's that?

The more the merrier:

It seems to me that what we have here is a failure to communicate, but Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn. So BITE me!

Now we're cooking, making tangible progress. However, we left out a "please".

To make amends, we should insert an additional "please".

It seems to me that what we have here is a failure to communicate, but Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn. So BITE me!

Please please me.

How about:

It seems to me that what we have here is a failure to communicate, but Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn. So please please BITE me gently!

Entry #2: Where?

I see that you have written "Where?"

I appreciate that you have used the more polite "Entry #2" rather than giving a name to the orifice in question, which some might consider rude or even lewd. I hope I speak for the whole committee when I say that you are doing significant good work here.

"Shove it up entry #2" looks better on the screen than the alternative wording with similar connotation. It certainly has the advantage of appearing technical. I wonder if this wording can be inserted (or thrust) into our mission statement, perhaps to serve (best served chilled) as an exemplar.

I would certainly think that in this context the word "served" would be more palatable than the word "eaten".

_{I couldn't think of another word for "palatable".}

You can discuss rudeness rudely, or you can discuss it politely.. I don't give a damn. Revenge is a dish that is best eaten cold.

(Lee van Cleef, Death Rides a Horse)

Ain't that "served cold"?

Damn I have to watch that movie again. Served or eaten, it's all one to me.

Actually revenge is a dish that may bear little or no resemblance to the original after being frozen, thawed and reheated....

Yeah you're right - it's all overrated.

This is starting to show real promise! We should remember that we will be handing this off to another team to polish it, so we are now just assembling some key ideas.

"Serving it cold" and "eating it cold" are certainly closely related, but should, I think, be incorporated as separate ideas.

It seems to me that what we have here is a failure to communicate, but Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn. So please please BITE me gently, yet render it twain through persistent force! If thou dost serve it back to me cold, know that I will eat it cold as the Ouroboros does its tail.

"yet render it twain through persistent force!"

On consideration, I find this a bit cumbersome, verbose for a technical forum, and ringing of shear sexism.

Entry #3; episiotomy?

On consideration, I find this a bit cumbersome, verbose for a technical forum, and ringing of shear sexism.

Excellent. We are moving forward on this much faster than in my wildest dreams!

No mission statement is a good mission statement unless it contains the word "episiotomy". There must, however, be eight words between the word "oral" and the word "episiotomy". (See Strunk and White)

M.B. waxing poetic. While I personally enjoy the Ourobouros, just try that in any ordinary forum thread! On the other hand, you're pretty close to a mission statement that could be readily cited in response to

(a) rudeness (heaven forbid!) and/or

(b) a complaint of rudeness (likewise).

If you cut the poetic license ("shear sexism"?) and the thees and thous, you get this:

It seems to me that what we have here is a failure to communicate, but Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn. So please please BITE me gently, serve it back to me cold, and I will eat it cold.

I am personally opposed to the use of the word "episiotomy" in the mission statement of a mostly male forum, since this is a physical indignity which most of the membership will never experience. Bite me. And if you want to say where, do make it a body part that every member is subject to..

("shear sexism"?)

"do make it a body part that every member is subject to.."

"(...............................................), allowing great flexibility in shapes that can be cut."

Granted that rudeness may be both biting and cutting, who said Bite me, did not (yet) say Cut my ouch.

Warning: the item shown below is not a chastity belt, either for lords or for ladies.

There. Hopefully we have now exhausted the entire storehouse of tasteless jokes about violence to sensitive body parts of the members.

Maybe we should amend the bite me clause to specify 'with what' as well as 'where'. As in, please, please, bite me gently but only with your sharp words, sarcastic wit, and cutting edge knowledge....

as for "where", I might plead you to restrict your puncture wounds to the metaphysical zones of my intellect and ego... .. but if you must have a body part, then....I vote for the forearms, how about the forearms as a best-bite scenario..... (and mind my left hook...)

"who said Bite me, did not (yet) say Cut my ouch"

He didn't?

Then I don't understand.

Perhaps it's one of those international language things, but clearly I am ignorant of what "So please please BITE me gently" might apply to in membership terms.

I think "we need to discuss more" what bit, or bits, "render it twain" (orally) could practically apply to?

And naturally, inline with 'equal opportunity' for bitees and biters.

I seeee... you may be correct.

But Lynlynch is more precisely correct, so I had to vote him a GA. What we have here is a failure to communicate and frankly....

The twain thing went over my head, I see there is a definite cleavage implied, biting through - and not a quick one either, 'persistent force'. I take it that this rules out the forearm. If you say so, boss.

Interesting trail of links behind your 'smile'

When it is in my hand, it is mine, so when it is not in my hand and shiny, then I want it. So then as a three year old child, I hold and want and say mine mine mine!

Then I cry, when I do not get what I want.

Elmo and Big Bird and Cookie Monster are conspiring to reveal secrets I cannot handle. They have batteries in their butts put there by gods who love robots more than they love Rocky the squirrel. Many squirrels commit suicide daily on highways as a protest of roads.

Do we really need roads?

So much of our world is left to us from where the deer walk that I want new and better shoes.

When putting your foot in your mouth it is good to take off your shoe first.

Hence the rude foot biter lives to buy a great tire, like a Firestone, only different.

Maybe another brand of tire is better. Facts will bore us out.

Still the clever rude person is better overall than the dumbass rude person.

I laugh, ha Hah Ha, thinking of Speed Racer, and Diver Dan, and Donald Duck, and Pluto, which is demoted from planet status.

Oh so much status is made out of pretty, and pretty is, as pretty does.

OMG! It's non-alcoholic egg nog here on out for the lot of ya.

What are those terms "non", "egg" and "nog"?

Jus' Discuss'n Things More.

I'd like to interject here, for the benefit of the whole team, an example of a mission statement.

This is Steven Covey's (I read here):

• To inspire, lift and provide tools for change and growth
  of individuals and organizations throughout the world to significantly increase their performance capability in order to achieve worthwhile purposes through understanding and living principle-centered leadership.

The Leaders of Lehman Brothers lived "principle-centered leadership". The principle in operation was greed. If we analyze Covey's statement, we see that it:

1. Says nothing. Consider: "provide tools for change and growth" Change and growth both happen endlessly and without tools.
2. Is almost one long sentence with plenty "positive affect" keywords thrown in. However, it is not really a sentence because it lacks a subject.

Covey's actual mission could be written simply:

"I wanna make money. Friggen loads of it."

Simple mission statements are bad. You can see why.

So as we work to frame ours, it is important to put in plenty of words. We have an advantage over many people struggling with a mission statement because some such people actually are engaged in doing something. McDonald's Makes Hamburgers, for example. Therefore their mission statement does not mention hamburgers. If you are engaged in making hamburgers it is hard to define your mission without being allowed to mention hamburgers.

We, on the other hand are doing nothing, and are just discussing what we might want to do in the future. Maybe we want to "Be nice." Maybe we want to "Be rude." Because we are doing nothing concrete, we can throw in just about anything, without making the profound mistake of actually saying what we do -- the killer of any mission statement.

Some cruel hoaxster guest type could run through here, poking holes in our mission statement, perhaps suggesting that it seems more like a soliloquy than a statement of purpose or mission. Fear not, it just needs more words.

Now, wait up there, Buckaroo. You seem to have forgotten the real purpose here. What good is a mission statement without a vision statement, as well.

A Mission Statement defines the organization's purpose and primary objectives. Its prime function is internal – to define the key measure or measures of the organization's success – and its prime audience is the leadership team and Admin.

Vision Statements also define the organizations purpose, but this time they do so in terms of the organization's values rather than bottom line measures (values are guiding beliefs about how things should be done.) The vision statement communicates both the purpose and values of the organization. For members, it gives direction about how they are expected to behave and inspires them to give their best. Shared with Guests, it shapes Guests' understanding of why they should work with the organization."

^{I stole this somewhere, I don't remember where.}

What good is a mission statement without a vision statement, as well.

I certainly understand your point. However, I feel that it is important that the vision statement is developed after the mission statement. Then, we can shape our values to fit our mission, without the possibility of stumbling over worn-out concepts of ethics or morality.

For example, if we decide that acting in accordance with our mission statement results in people dying, then our vision statement should mention things like reducing over-population, reducing consumption, leaving more resources for future generations, etc.

Of course, what you say is full of Moronic logic so how can I Bumble along thinking of vision when mission should be my goal.

This requires more thought. Back later.

Microsoft at one time had this mission statement: "A computer on every desktop." No woowoo wawa crap, easily understandable, and largely successful. ( or , take your pick.)

I am going out of town until December 24th. My hope is that, in my absence, you will arrive at a consensus on our mission statement. I have tasked Transcendian with coming up with five words (from a list I provided) to add to the statement, to give it a little more positive feel, and to increase to its nebulosity quotient.

Tools,Jewels,Land,Make Money.

Wonder why this one didn't make the daily digest ;D

you're not funny

AAAAAAAHHHHHH.......it's the dreaded guest !!!!!

Typical engineer, Starts off with mission statement, no mention at all of vision.

Nice Thread MB.

Milo

Actually, the definitive answer to this thread is "No, we don't." But what the hey, that's just an invitation to run it into the ground....

This clearly flags targeting lightweight innovation self-leadership developer story leveraging a conversation bandwidth code embedded fast-track sign off execution to take the XHTML initiative Web 2.0 Linux design-win protocol leading edge social bookmarking re-prioritization tight integration touch base online.

Leverage at Stanford Creative Commons critical success factors feature creep decompose trust facilitate enabling targeting innovation milestone performance management collateral very best shit collectively as a group action item resolution working the issue long tail content providers layer cake talk to issue win-win fixed in next release high-level vision consolidate killer apps re-prioritization reference collaborative initiative input visualization of possibilities challenge.

First class empowerment deliverables, customer focus, over unity rat hole stability reference presentation clarify user-oriented virtualization up to speed action developer story to impactful world class signage cultural sensitivity Python performance management encapsulate standard developer story cutting edge pilot error diversify productized media-rich protocol Java value oriented virtualization task-driven time-shift one on one design review items are best of breed.

Putting on a transition culture hat moving forward to leading edgelong pole solution promote core values Vista cutting edge values enabling guesstimate bleeding edge interoperability shared architecture strategic alliance conversation execution, PHP clear board helicopter pilot error view scripting time to market schedule servlet whatever it takes standard context switch reference going for the task globalization up to speed blows them away like Ruby On Rails with a functionality freeze sanity check first class SQL reconfigurable bring to the alpha party tight integration.

Well, frankly, someone had to say it

Now we're wording with real truthiness!

HOWEVER:

I quickly scanned this visually for a particular key word, and then scanned it again in a text editor just to be sure. Amazingly, this key word does not appear, but must appear in every significant business communication. I feel certain that this is merely a typo, because there is a place where the word clearly belongs.

This:

content providers layer cake talk to issue win-win fixed in next release high-level vision consolidate killer apps re-prioritization reference collaborative initiative input visualization of possibilities challenge.

Should be this:

content providers layer cake talk to issue win-win fixed in next release high-level vision consolidate/promulgate killer apps re-prioritization reference collaborative initiative input visualization of possibilities challenge.

Aside from that small typo, what you have written can serve equally well as our vision statement, our mission statement, and (especially) our marketing plan. Kudos.

Thank you Fearless Leader for your kind comments and constructive correlated corrective benefaction. _{But for one card more ........}

Whooee--that just blacked out everybody's Bull$h!t Bingo card.