Step Gauge Formula

You must be the head stoner. Your questions so far have been very trivial arithmetic.

Thank you. I am pleased that this site has posts about inclusion. Although I am not the head stoner in my facility, I feel included here at CR4. I work under my quality control leader, and I am tasked with making sure that machine operators can get to their machines. We say "A machine without an operator cannot make good parts." We have posted about 100 signs around the shop that say this, and now several of our machines are creating parts that can be sold instead of scrapped.

For a while, our reject rate was 20% (meaning that 4 out of 5 parts were rejected). Now, our reject rate is 100%, making our department all the more important.

I try very hard not to be critical of others, but I'm sorry; did you graduate from elementary school? I have to assume that English is not your first language, and that we have a serious translation problem here.

A reject rate of 20% means that 20% (1 out of 5) are rejected. That leaves 4 out of 5 acceptable parts.

A reject rate of 100% means that every part is rejected, with zero acceptable parts!

While it is true that "A machine without an operator cannot make good parts., It is also true that "A machine without an operator cannot make bad parts."

If your machine operators have to count steps to find their machines, then they should NOT be operating machines of ANY kind! If you don't know how to multiply the number of steps by the distance of each step, then you should not be managing anyone, including machine operators!

I recommend moon walking to work station....

How the heck do you prevent your "STONERS" from getting hurt??????

We have drug tests in our shop to prevent people from being stoners and to keep stoners out.

Stoners are more likely to be injured on the job, period!!!

You and the management of your facility have to be stoners yourselves to allow this to go on, the liabilities are ridiculous.

For letting stoners work on machines, you are dumber then they are!!!!!!

Somebody is going to get hurt or worse, hope you can live with that.

Stop enabling them and get rid of them. Put the bong down and get some intelligence.

Read my tag line... "You can't fix stupid"

I sure hope this is a joke, if it isn't, let me know where your facility is and I will call somebody like OSHA to shut you down.

"For a while, our reject rate was 20% (meaning that 4 out of 5 parts were rejected). Now, our reject rate is 100%, making our department all the more important."

Huh? Thats a 80% fail rate with a 20% success rate. Not the other way around.

The best I can tell you at this point is go get a few 4th or 5th graders to check your math for you. You yourself are clearly not capable of handling it alone.

By the way one of them could probably tackle that problem with the 3 feet to step and how many steps in 12 feet conundrum while they at recess.

I have to ask. By chance to you work at a local sign company that's very near to where I live? Just asking being I think I may have worked under you and with your coworkers some years ago. You sound frighteningly familiar.

Obviously he is smoking a fatty while doing this simple math, so why bother correcting him?

What are you going to do if the path is something like 13 feet at a magnetic bearing of 179°, followed by 7 feet at a magnetic bearing of 59° when somebody turns on an electromagnet, dude?

From here.

Easy, he lights up another bowl!

He'll have to post different signs for different people; e.g., 10 paces for Bohunk, 12 paces for Pinky.

If I were you, I'd just fly up close to the ceiling and direct the other stoners from there.

Can these stoners walk in a straight line or do they zig and zag around imaginary obstacles? If they do, it does little good to measure as the crow flies.

Cor stone the crows, that straight line metaphor is problematical in this context.

Please, please, please, tell me this is a joke; that somebody, anybody will jump out from behind the AP #1 mask and shout Bazinga!

Can't jump out now, but I can shout bazinga!

I've unintentionally suckered in more people than I could have imagined. A pretty literal lot here! Now I feel like I'd come across as being mean-spirited -- so I must remain in my dreary closeted condition.

My post was a replication (with details changed) of one asking for a "formula" for figuring out how far a screw advances per turn. Lemme think... 27 threads per inch... might that mean 27 turns per inch of advance??? Where is a formula needed? That post made my jaw drop -- especially because the OP accused his workers of being stoners. He's the QA guy and can't do second grade math?? Who is the stoner?

Let's see... it goes .0373 per turn. How many turns to move .307. Damn. Dunno. Gotta light up another one and post a question at CR4 -- those guys should know.

I guess any joke you have to explain is not all that funny.

It couldn't have been anything but a spoof, no one who could find their way here on the interwebs would need to ask such a question. Given that it was so obvious, what kind of responses did you expect. I see little alternative to either dead silence or the response you received.

@Nutwood. Please give us a sample reply that would satisfy you, you criticized the actual responses but didn't provide one yourself. I would love to see how else the OP could have been answered.

The generally expected responses were along the lines of SolarEagle's or redfred's or your #12. I expected no response at all from many viewers, and imagined a simple chuckle from some of those.

What I did not expect was the witless responses, and the vituperation. Unexpected were things like "Did you graduate from elementary school," the pedantic plodding through simple math, and the admonishments re avoiding drugs on the job -- in other words, essentially all the responses from people who took this thread seriously.

Frankly, I am now surprised that someone did not call the OP a nitwit for misunderstanding the meaning of "inclusions".

You seemed to have missed Nutwood's response, which was immediately above your own here. He said "Thank you so much for your question! It brightened my day, although on a sadder note, the responses reminded me why I seldom drop by CR4 these days."

All in all, it's been a good learning experience.

What a load of insincere and sanctimonious nonsense.

I'm loving this thread more and more. It's rapidly becoming a classic. Even after you explain the joke and the motivation, the flaming continues.

Comments enjoying the joke are marked "Off Topic". Your own explanations are marked "Off Topic" Those abusing you are marked as "Good Answers" ; which makes you wonder about other "Good Answers".

Still people can't stand back and have a good laugh at themselves!

I was hoping this was a joke. The reason for my seriousness on this matter is that early in my career I was a supervisor and watched one of my operators lose his life after falling in an automatic mask washing machine, an autopsy showed he had heroin in his system, his stoner friends said he had just used at break. Sorry that I don't find stoners in the workplace funny.

This entire thread should have been deleted long ago.

Agreed.

So what you are saying is that you acting like a dumb ass pothead clueless half wit stoner in multiple threads is a joke on us?

Nope. I don't see the humor either.

"So what you are saying is that you acting like a dumb ass pothead clueless half wit stoner in multiple threads is a joke on us?"

Sorry, no, wrong again. That is not at all what I am saying. I have not put up multiple threads on this subject. Nor did I intend this to be a joke on you. You and several others have turned it into a perverse joke on yourselves. But really, it is not even a joke -- it's a simple sad commentary.

The joke was intended to be on people like Radovich09 who are completely dim-witted, but think themselves superior to the "stoners" they work with.

Many of you have taken this thread seriously (incredibly), meaning that you believe the OP (of this thread) to be of extremely limited capability. But instead of feeling pity, you cannot resist the urge to put him down and "correct" his ludicrously, unbelievably incorrect math.

Holy Crap! Can any of you be serious in thinking that an adult who cannot discern that 4/5 is not 20% can be helped by a brief lecture. Come now. The only motive you can have for your inane little lectures is to entertain other CR4ers at the expense of this dimwit. "Look at me! I am superior to a dimwit." Good for you. You can be proud.

So here is the story of how this thread came to be:

The following thread was put up by padovich09, who is apparently incapable of doing even the very simplest math: Here is that thread.

Padovich, self-proved to be grossly incompetent, nevertheless describes his coworkers as "stoners". That certainly struck me as the pot calling the kettle black*.... the height of irony. Straight out of Saturday Night Live.

I am perfectly happy making fun of Padovich, because of his demonstrated duplicity, provided he is not within earshot. Giving him the benefit of the doubt, I thought "we" could chuckle at his thread indirectly, here in this thread, without offending him. Making fun of him in the original thread (as several have done) would be rude and insensitive to the fact that he is probably not very smart.

So ... I put up this thread, assuming (incorrectly) that people would "get" the inside joke, and have a little chuckle. Imagine my surprise when people respond condescendingly and nearly belligerently to this OP that I could not imagine anyone taking seriously. Some guy can't figure out how many 3 foot steps are in 12 feet??? Get real. How could that possibly be anything other than a joke?

I have thought of several of you who showed up in this thread as being reasonably quick-witted. Live and learn.

It saddens me somewhat to think of some of you as being incapable of seeing just how silly the math is in this thread. But what saddens me more is that after believing that this was a real problem being expressed, that the default response is to be condescending. How does it help you, CR4 or the OP to have you treat him like the idiot you believe him to be?

So no, this thread has not been a joke on you. But it has been sadly revealing. The intention was to have a chuckle at just how bad math skills can be, and how people can be unintentionally ironic and duplicitous. I'd never dreamed I'd be witnessing fourth grade bullies teaching math to a third grader.

I agree, I don't see the humor.

* When I say "pot calling the kettle black" I am using a "figure of speech." No, I do not think Radovich09 is literally a pot.

Your prank was not funny. Instead, it and your further comments exhibit some of the most hideously poor judgment I have encountered.

I hope the administrators close this thread and make you persona non grata.

I just had a beautiful idea. Perhaps, somewhere, there's someone who once posted under the name of Padavich09, and was subtle enough not to explain.

He's rolling around on the ground, chewing the carpet, absolutely convulsed with mirth, because his little idea has borne fruit far beyond his expectations...

"I could not imagine anyone taking seriously. Some guy can't figure out how many 3 foot steps are in 12 feet??? Get real. How could that possiblybe anything other than a joke?"

"meaning that you believe the OP (of this thread) to be of extremely limited capability."

"The intention was to have a chuckle at just how bad math skills can be,"

I take it you are new to online forums and have yet to have experienced dealing with clueless sanctimonious half wits on a regular basis that cant do basic math, have little to no understanding of real applied science or physics, and think that everything is government conspiracy theories to cover up free energy, that AGW isn't really a scam, or to subjugate everyone?

Would you like a list of the who's who of the CR4 foil hat brigade to read up on that would clarify why so many of us would take the OP as having been serious and in need of a good ol' fashioned rude awakening for their own good?

"I take it you are new to online forums and have yet to have experienced dealing with clueless sanctimonious half wits on a regular basis..."

Uhmm....no one is forcing you to "deal" with anything. You hang out here by choice. Why do you care so much (and get upset over it!!) when some anonymous person posts something you don't agree with or think is stupid. You chose to post and get into the fray "on a regular basis". If it's so bad for you then why don't you just ignore the "half wits" ? I don't get it.

You (and the other guys that gave you GAs) come across like you own this place and don't like "others" messing around in your club house. It's like in the movies when the tourist stops in at a local bar and gets dirty looks from the locals.

"Uhmm....no one is forcing you to "deal" with anything."

My wife does.

"You chose to post and get into the fray"on a regular basis". If it's so bad for you then why don't you just ignore the "half wits" ? I don't get it."

Because its my form of sport, I do like to argue, and Neither do I.

"You (and the other guys that gave you GAs) come across like you own this place and don't like "others" messing around in your club house. It's like in the movies when the tourist stops in at a local bar and gets dirty looks from the locals."

You only get the dirty looks until you buy a round of drinks plus if you stick around long enough and socialize (at least a little) you become one of them.

After that its all GA's from there. Deserving or otherwise.

The best humor is when we're able to laugh at ourselves. And laugh we should over some of these serious responses. Matter of fact, this whole thread should be framed and posted in "Caption This".

Somebody has been playing with a ball of string again.

Thank you so much for your question! It brightened my day, although on a sadder note, the responses reminded me why I seldom drop by CR4 these days

Thanks. The response of others leaves me a bit stunned. How can so many have taken this seriously?

Then having taken it seriously, how can people be so cruel to someone who would have to be a certifiably mentally ill of incredibly confused? We seem to have people saying "Aren't we smart because we know fourth grade math."

ha ha. You were serious first and found it then wise to back out.

"I said "None.... It's a friggging snake!"

I think I peed a little!

Thanks for the appreciation TerraMan! Appreciated.

(very few and far between, - been told off so often,

but I do try to keep them on-topic, if they see it.)

jt.

jt, I have to tell you I was in bed last night trying to fall asleep but I was giggling on and off. My wife was reading her book next to me. She turns to me and says "WTF is wrong with you?? You've been giggling ever since you got into bed". I just turn to her and said..."Honey...none...it's a frigging snake!".

I started to laugh out loud. She had this "I married an idiot" look on her face.

The whole scene was priceless. Keep'em coming!

Cheers.

You're a star TerraMan, thank you.

(I hope the moderator reads your opinion!)

The trouble is.... he has said (x3) NO more jokes.... !

jt. (better not push my luck here..)

Dude! you must have really long spindly legs to go 3 full feet. I am plenty tall, and I average a 30" step, unless I really take great large strides (only after beer or a tall good looking blonde lady).

Dude! Count up the steps on one hand (don't go past five, now), and then hold up the other hand showing the same count, the left foot too. Now on the right foot, you are standing, so don't use that one. Now count up fingers and toes, because you obviously shouldn't reproduce since you can't multiply.