How Do You Get a Person to Realize They Need to Take Their Meds?

Maybe it would help to find a knowledgeable physician of similar cultural background. This could make it easier to trust medical advice. Your own example seems like a good way to explain the concept, too.

I thought all females had "petty meltdowns over stupid irrelevant nonsense".

Seriously, I'm sorry to hear that. Independent, self-sufficient people are the hardest to convince that they may need help coping.

She won't listen to you, you're too close.

If she has any close female friends that you are comfortable discussing this with, talk to them. Have them take her out to lunch, and just talk to her. Coming from them, it won't sound as much like a lecture as it would coming from you.

Sorta like an intervention.

Good luck.

Tough situation. When all else fails, "try prayer".

Best

Jim

Parents, kids, women and cats... can't make 'em do anything.
You have my sympathy but I know darned well if I keep on at Mrs Cat to do somethiming it will have the opposite effect. So I keep shtum...
Hopefully she'll get there in the end.

Maybe try sayin...'If you won't do it for yourself, for pities sake do it for me'.. maybe a touch of humour will get through!

(You can say Kris made you say it)
Del

First, you can't make anyone do something they really do not want to do. More on that later.

Second, I don't know what the nature of the thyroid problem is (hyper/hypo) nor if surgery has been done or what her previous thyroid levels were, so the following is a generic answer.

1. You can't will your thyroid healed.

2. You can improve your thyroid response with diet and exercise. Exercise is probably the more important, but a stringent diet of organic proteins will also help. She would have to be very regimented and patient with this change of lifestyle.

It is important to understand that thyroid levels change slowly, so any changes you make can take months to make a difference, even restarting her meds.

The best advice I (or anyone else) could give would be to restart her meds and begin the diet/exercise programs concurrently. The type and amount of exercise would be dependent on her age and condition. Consult with your physician.

I could also recommend counseling. A psychiatrist might be the best due to the nature of the problem being chemically related. Still, having someone that she can freely talk to can do amazing things. People are much more responsive to someone who is an outsider versus a loved one. That is just the nature of life, so don't expect to play Sir Galahad as if you can fix this.

However, she might be receptive if you frame the changes in a goal oriented way. First, ask her what she wants as a long term goal. Be realistic. Some things may not be possible, but you can always improve the situation and aiming for the stars is a good way to get to the Moon if you are flexible.

Once a goal has been set you can construct a plan to get there with realistic and measurable steps. The important thing is to make each step doable and provide a sense of victory when each is achieved.

To that end you should, as a team, resolve to make improvements of the quality of life a general goal and team with a good physician that can help you along the way. This means she must restart her medications, but have the physician monitor her thyroid levels as she goes so that the physician can alter the medication dosage as required. Remember, this process will take months to do, so patience and resolve are important.

One of the biggest problems with patients and their meds that impact mental health is the urge to stop taking them when you feel better. That is the worst thing you can do. Your brain's chemical factories take time to adjust to medication changes. Stopping cold turkey leaves the brain unable to take up the slack because those chemical factories are in a near dormant state and they can not produce the chemicals fast enough to recover or normalize the body chemistry. The result is a rapid deterioration of the patient's mental state, which is where your wife is at now.

Even if the diet and exercise is successful in returning her thyroid to a functional level, medications must be slowly weaned and not just stopped.

Maybe your first step is counseling with the idea of an end goal of improvement in quality of life.

Yes in fact she did quit her medication cold turkey a few months ago when the prescription ran out. She said they were too expensive. They cost us about $1.50 a day after insurance which BTW she spends 3 - 5 times as much on shoes and haircuts in a month than her meds cost.

When she ran out I said I would cover the costs but she didn't want me wasting my money on her, as if she was ever concerned about that before.

I don't recall what what exactly her imbalance is but I had a girlfreind years ago that had to be on the same meds for similar reasons. Stark raving irrational nuts when she was without hers to the point it finally ended in her going to jail for a long sit.

My wifes issues are nowhere near as severe but still they are enough to make me concerned if not annoyed when things do flare up like this morning where I am the bad guy for not 'teaching her' how to screw a spray nozzle onto a hose which I considered that age 37 to be something she should know full well how to do on her own (My nieces could figure it out on their own by age 6) especially since she has done times several times already this week since we planted new grass in the yard.

I do try to be helpful and encourage her to go out and visit her friends and be social all the time. Rarely happens though.

The issue with today is that "I do not learn new things" for her. I have to admit I have no idea what to even say to that. I was not aware that for everything she feels she learns or relearns or forgets and learns a third time I have to learn something new as well and when asked what I should be learning I just got my butt chewed for not already knowing.

BTW she is wound sky high and can't sit still today as well.

Well I am the insensitive jerk who never pays any attention anyway!

I was never good with the big medical terms or what they relate to. I can barely remember what I have and what I take for it.

Today I just let her run wild on the riding lawn mower and moved stuff out of her way until she wore herself out. I think it helped her realize she has a problem being she had a number of instances where she couldn't get the mower to start or go in reverse because she was wound so tight that she couldn't focus on what levers did what or what peddles did what.

You could try talking to her (preferably after a good meal) about how she is feeling and how she was feeling a few months ago (when the meds were in effect).

If she can acknowledge that there was a difference between then and now it may help her realize that medication has its benefits.

You could explain (after she sees that there is a difference) that you have been researching the subject and see cause for concern.

Tell her that, to you, her happiness and health is worth far more than $1.50 per day and you would be glad to pick up that tab (and more) if it helped put joy into her life. Tell her, "After all, you are the love of my life and what are husbands for, anyway?"

I also found out she quit her antidepressants as well (because she doesn't like how mine make me happy, patient, and not so uptight about small unimportant things that she feels should bother me as much as they do her) and that she went on a crash diet this week being that since she stopped taking her thyroid meds she has gained 5 pounds.

I am really glad I was born a guy. I can't imagine what it must be like to live in this sort of self inflicted misery that women seem to need for no rational reason.

TCM, this is not necessarily a "women's thing" so it might help to remove the sexism from the conversation. Also it's probably not the "buck fifty", that's just an excuse, more than likely she doesn't like the way the medicine makes here feel or the effect on her body and/or mind.

Unfortunately most doctors start with the highest possible dose for the quickest action, but the side effects are often severe as well. Why not see if she can start with the lowest possible dose, check to see if it works, then increase only if medically necessary.

My doctors know that I don't like taking prescription medicine so we always discuss if there is some non-prescription work-alike that I can try with the agreement if it doesn't work then we go to the prescriptions. First understand why the doctor prescribed the medicine, then do some research to understand how it achieves its effects, check for known side effects, and for any other similar meds with the same goals but with a different way of achieving them. Also check for known drug interactions with anything else that she's taking. Then check for OTC supplements that have a similar action. Maybe she'll take them if they aren't "prescription" medicine. You've got the rest of your lives to get this done right, just start now.

"When my wife became ill and suffered severe anxiety and depression, I had a mantra I would recite to myself: My wife's disease is not my wife. The disease would affect her behavior, but when she would lash out at me I had to remind myself that the disease was causing this; that my wife was still a good person and that she was suffering WAY more than I was."

That is very hard to do when "my wifes disease" is in my dresser drawers and closets tossing out my seasonal clothing because we are possibly having company this next weekend plus it can't recall the last time it saw me wearing it therefore its not needed any more.

This is the stuff I have a very hard time dealing with without getting upset and confrontational about. Little by little "her disease" is removing me from my own home because it doesn't seem to see what makes/keeps me happy and well adjusted as being relevant.

Lots of Cannabis might help (you rather than her, but maybe both.)

North Dakota is in the dark ages when it comes to pot laws.

But, I agree with the unconventional approach.

Nope. I grew up around and have worked with potheads and it is not the life for me.

Granted it would make the nonsensical circular excuse/nit picking arguments a bit more tolerable.

Until she sees she needs it, you are just someone who is against her. Let her keep having her meltdowns while not getting sucked into it. Maybe she will realize it after many incidents and want help? I did not think I needed my blood pressure medicine anymore....... until I had a stroke. Thankfully I fully recovered. I NEVER miss a dose now!!!

tread lightly. what ever you do, may not be right. Because anything you do may be looked at not as trying to be helpful but by being condescending. But you already know that.

Look for opportunity, which is how acceptable her attitude is at....... and by now means do not bring up attitude.